A Bedside Manner
by greenstuff2
Summary: Molly and Captain James meet when he is admitted to hospital at Bastion following an accident and then lose touch, only to meet again at Headley Court...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Tony Grounds and the BBC

**Author's notes: I'm sticking to Afghan for their initial meeting, but changing the scenario and then moving them back to the UK and Headley Court. Hope you enjoy it, please let me know. **

"Molly?"

Shit, she'd seen him as soon as he walked into the room but had hoped that if she kept her head down he wouldn't notice her, or maybe not even recognise her, while she waited until his back was turned and she could then escape. She hadn't seen him since the hospital at Bastion but she would have known him anywhere, he had starred in enough of her daydreams and "getting off to sleep" fantasies over the past year, with all the inconvenient facts air brushed out.

"Hello, small world, innit?"

"Indeed. " He smiled "It's good to see you, how are you?"

"Better than you by the look of it, you look like you've been in the wars again" She laughed "Course you have, you wouldn't be here if you hadn't been in a war, would you?"

She'd known he was there, Suzie had told her the day he was admitted for physio and rehab on a bad leg wound and had said what a good job it was that she was on nights with the amputees on the other side of the facility so that their paths shouldn't need to cross. Molly had very mixed feelings about it, on the one hand she would have loved to see him again, to see him smile at her, but on the other hand, there was no point in asking for her feelings to set off again on a hiding to nowhere, because nothing had changed.

He couldn't believe that he had been gearing himself up to ask the nurse on his ward about her, he remembered that they had worked together at Bastion and he thought that maybe she would know where Molly had been posted, when he limped into one of the cafeterias on the ground floor, needing to sit down and rest his leg as much as to have a coffee, and there she was. She looked exactly as he remembered her, dressed in scrubs, so she obviously worked here, with her hair tied back in the same heavy plait that he had imagined loosening all those months ago.

Og…og…og…og…og

She had been so deeply asleep it was as if she was in a coma when the 'incoming injured' sirens had gone off, so deeply asleep that she hadn't heard a thing so that Jackie had been forced to shake her really hard to rouse her enough to be sure she was awake before racing off to the hospital, leaving Molly to follow.

"Molls, Molly, come on open your eyes, you've got to wake up"

"It can't be time yet, Jacks, just another ten minutes" Molly whimpered.

"Incoming, got to go in now"

"Oh shit no, I'm minging, I need a shower"

"Well you can't have one, just get moving…now"

Molly didn't sleep well when she was on night shift, she would toss and turn most of the day, finding it impossible to drop off in the stifling heat, with the air thick with dust and the constant racket outside, despite the fact that she was exhausted. She would finally drop into the near coma in the late afternoons, so that when she forced herself out of bed she was still tired and unrefreshed and in desperate need of a cool shower so that she could function. She lived for her nights off to restore her to her normal cheerful, chippy self.

She dragged herself out of her pit, knowing that she had to move immediately, as she fought the overwhelming urge to lay down and go straight back to sleep and that she had to report without the benefit of a shower or even a cup of tea, so that she knew she looked pale and tired and heavy eyed and was horribly afraid that she didn't smell too great either. A splash of water on her face and a spray of de-odorant in her armpits followed by a quick swill of mouthwash didn't improve the way she felt to any significant degree but at least she wasn't quite so smelly, or at least she hoped not.

The casualty clearing hall was its usual organised chaos with teams surrounding the stretcher trollies working calmly to well-practised routines, but at least there wasn't any screaming from young soldiers with limbs blown off or the distinctive smell of scorched flesh and freshly spilled blood which always stuck in her throat.

"What's gone on, Jacks?" She stuck out her arm and waylaid Jackie who was hurrying along the corridor.

"Troop carrier overturned out at one of the FOBs"

"Fatac?" She was asking if there were any dead.

"No, not yet anyway" Jackie shook her head "Lots of broken bones, couple of query spinals, Officer got a hell of a whack on the head, so he's away with the fairies, but they think he'll get away with it"

"Will anyone notice if he don't?"

"Don't be a cow" she laughed "Actually this one is one of the good guys, bloody good looking as well, or he was before he had two stonking black eyes and a swollen nose"

Molly reported to her nursing station feeling very hard done by. There was nothing for her to do, no-one had been warded yet and there was a full compliment of day staff still there which meant that she would have had plenty of time to shower, have a cup of tea and even eat some breakfast. There was probably no point in asking now, although she might try for a shower by pointing out that nurses with minging body odour weren't the best when it came to leaning over patients. She was allowed to shower and put on fresh scrubs, even got a reasonably fresh cup of tea, well not too stewed anyway, and stole a couple of the patients' biscuits before the bodies started arriving on the ward.

The two query spinals were the top priority, they had to be kept absolutely still and flat on their backs as they waited for scans and X-rays, just in case they had broken any bones in their backs. One, a lad who seemed to be called Fingers for some reason, or so he said, seemed to be better than the other. He had a bit of neck pain but could move his arms and legs and wiggle his toes, so that the nurses were betting on nothing worse than a bit of whiplash but the other, a Welsh lad called Dylan Smith, or Smurf as he kept insisting was his name, was a bit more of a worry. He said he had no pain but was complaining about some worrying tingling in his hands.

The Officer was put in the side room, mainly because he was an officer, which, Molly moaned, made it bloody inconvenient for the staff, meaning her, to do his hourly obs. She could see that he was probably nice looking, although not at the moment when he looked as if he had got in the ring with Mike Tyson and lost badly, and she had to rouse him every hour to make sure he wasn't slipping into a coma. His irritable muttering every time she woke him was getting worse and they were watching him closely because being irritable could be a symptom of a worsening head injury or it could just be that he was pissed off that she wouldn't let him sleep. She was shining a light into his eyes to check his pupils for the fourth time when he turned his head suddenly and vomited copiously over the bed and her.

"Oh, lovely, thanks for that mate" She grabbed a kidney bowl and held his head as he continued to retch on an obviously empty stomach, well it was empty now anyway.

"Sorry" He muttered, awake but with his eyes tightly closed.

"It's okay, couldn't matter less" Molly trotted out her usual platitude "Lets get you mopped up and I'll get someone to help me change your bed" She rang the bell for some help, but she also needed to report his sickness, it could be another symptom of rising pressure in his brain.

Captain James had no idea where he was or what had happened, one minute he was sitting in the troop carrier with 2 section, laughing and listening to their ceaseless banter as they trundled back to the compound, the next there was this huge lurch and everything was tumbling around them as they turned over. There was a blinding pain as something whacked him across the eyes and he hit his head on something, and then darkness as he lost consciousness. He came round briefly in a helicopter without his helmet and with someone shining a light in his eyes, with his crashing headache being made far worse by the noise of the rotors, then went out again. He kept going in and out of the world around him and he could hear people speaking without knowing what they were saying until he knew he was in a bed and it was bright and noisy and someone kept waking him up when he was asleep and then patting his hand and saying 'sorry mate' as she opened his eyes and shone a light in them. It was beginning to seriously piss him off that she, whoever the hell she was, wouldn't let him sleep when the fourth time she woke him to shine a light in his eyes he suddenly knew, without warning, that he was going to be sick.

He knew he'd thrown up over her and tried to apologise, but she was very kind and matter of fact about it, something that made him feel better, well as much as anything could at that moment. He knew there was something he needed to ask and was trying very hard to think what the hell it was through the fog and crashing pain in his head as her tiny hands mopped him up as if he was a child, something that left him feeling comforted.

He was aware of being wheeled down to some scanning contraption and being fed through and told to stay as still as he could while it was turned this way and that, he had no idea what 'mate' looked like but he couldn't hear her voice so he presumed she wasn't there. He heard her voice when he was put back in his room and he tried to smile at her, still unable to remember what it was he wanted to ask.

It was daylight when she put her head round the door to see if he was awake, so he managed to open his eyes a slit and saw that she was very little, but he couldn't open his eyes enough to see whether she was pretty or not, as she told him that she was going off duty and then laughed as she said 'you have a nice day, now' in a fake customer service voice and he tried to smile back, not for a second believing that she was being sarcastic, and then remembered what it was he wanted to ask her.

"The lads?" his voice came out as a croak, as though he had a very sore throat, or he hadn't spoken for days,

"They're all fine, mate, you're the only one who really copped it, and even you're not that bad. See you tonight, unless they've discharged you back to the war"

Molly found getting to sleep impossible, even worse than usual, as she lay and worried about him. She didn't usually take her work home with her, so to speak, but despite her joking when she left him this morning, there was something about him that deeply worried her. She wanted to get up and pop back to the hospital to check on him, to see if he was okay, which she knew was bloody ridiculous and anyway would get her put on a charge. She must have dropped off eventually because she woke with a start far too early for her shift and then couldn't get back to sleep, which was unheard of for her. She lay and fretted about him, convinced, for some reason, that he wouldn't still be on the ward that night; that he'd either have been transferred to ITU or worse.

The side ward was in darkness when she reported for duty, and her stomach dropped as 'I knew it' flooded her brain. She didn't know him like she got to know some patients but she felt like she'd had some sixth sense and she cared, so she sent a silent plea that it was ITU and not the alternative. 


	2. Chapter 2

They were handing over and had started with the spinals, the one called Fingers had turned out to have whiplash and had been discharged to light duties, Smurf had sustained severe bruising to the lower cervical spine and was being kept flat and immobile and was, apparently, becoming a real pain in the arse. He had discovered the potential of asking for help to use a bottle or deal with an itch in his groin and the worst of it was he thought he was being original and funny, instead of run-of-the mill sleazy. His notes were marked with a small blue cross on the bottom, private shorthand for the nursing staff to warn them to get a male CMT to help him with the more intimate tasks.

There were several post-operative pinned leg breaks waiting to recover enough from their surgery to be re-patriated, their Afghan adventure was over, but none of them were giving any cause for concern and then they got on to Captain James, who was, apparently, still with them. Molly had been so convinced that her hunch had been right that she had completely failed to see the small live monitor or the fact that the door had a hand towel tied round the handles to stop it closing properly, a trick they used at night so that the noise of the constant opening and closing of the door wouldn't wake the occupant. He had severe concussion and although not completely out of danger from a cerebral bleed, the likelihood was diminishing all the time and his inter-cranial pressure had stabilised, so most of the monitors were switched off and he was now on three hourly obs and was allowed to sleep in between. Her relief made her light headed for a moment; she had been so sure that he was going to die on her.

They started settling the patients for the night, waking up some of them to give them a sleeping pill because it was prescribed, a practice which Molly would never understand if she lived to be a hundred. She settled Smurf, ignoring his "God's gift to females and especially nurses" innuendo. Actually she felt a bit sorry for him, he was obviously shit-scared that his injury was going to turn out to mean permanent paralysis, possible but very unlikely, but it was all he could see happening and he was hiding his fear behind lots of bravado, so she smiled and patted his hand, "Have a good rest, mate, it'll all look better in the morning"

Captain James was the last on her list and he wasn't due for obs for a couple of hours, so she just popped her head round the door to see if he was asleep.

"Hello, wondered when you were going to come and say hello to me"

"Hello, Sir, why aren't you asleep? No, don't bother" she laughed "that's a bloody silly question isn't it? You're not asleep because you're not sleepy. How's the 'ead?"

"What's with the Sir? I thought I was 'mate' and my head's bloody awful, thanks for asking"

"Yeah, any time, and I'll get bollocked if they hear me calling an Officer 'mate', so Sir it is"

"What's your name?"

"Dawes, Molly Dawes"

"What do our friends call you?"

"What, apart from Muppet?" She laughed "Dawsey"

"Can you put the light on for a second, Dawsey?"

"Why?"

"So I can see what you look like properly"

"Me? I'm bleeding hideous mate, give you nightmares" she laughed "See you in a bit when you're fast asleep and I'll come in and wake you up to see whether you're still with us"

The day had been very, very long, full of tests and scans and people waking him up to look in his eyes and ask him stupid questions about what day it was and who the prime minister was and what he remembered of the accident, not much was the answer to that one, and why had his helmet come off, and whether or not he'd undone the strap and he hadn't got a clue. He just knew that he had the mother and father of all crashing headaches and he still felt vaguely nauseous when he moved his head too quickly, which reminded him of the ghastly episode last night and how kind 'mate' had been to him. When they had finally said he could sleep he had closed his eyes and waited for the longed for oblivion, then heard her voice and laughter outside his room. He stopped trying to drop off, something that he had been desperate for all day, as he became aware that the door had opened slightly, letting a little shaft of light into his darkened room as she popped her head round the door and he discovered that he had been waiting for her. She was a gobby cockney without much respect, certainly not for rank, but she had been extremely kind to him last night, and he was grateful.

She was completely right, he was in a deep, deep sleep each time she woke him up and shone a light in his eyes, then stroked the hair back off his forehead and told him he could go back to sleep now so that he kept having the same feeling of comfort that he'd had the night before when she had mopped him up.

She came in to say she was off and that she would see him later, if he was still there, and he found he was sorry that her shift was over, he wished she could stay and talk to him. He still had a crashing headache so he couldn't read, the pain meant that he couldn't focus, and his black eyes were so swollen that he couldn't open them more than a crack and when he did that the light stung them and made them water, so that he looked as though he was crying. Being in a room on his own was great for privacy but was lonely and boring and he had the feeling that he would enjoy talking to her.

Molly had a better day's sleep knowing that he wasn't going to drop dead on her and he'd obviously had a far better day, because he was sitting propped up on the bed rest and had a dimmed light switched on. His eyes were at least open although still horrendously bruised, the swellings around them were almost rainbow coloured and there was a huge red wheal across the bridge of his nose and the bones above his eye sockets, so apparently it was a possibility that his face had collided with something while he was wearing his helmet and that someone had removed it prior to his trip in the helicopter rather than him taking it off; no-one knew for sure and he had just been lucky not to get a fractured skull or a broken nose at the very least. He still had a crashing headache but the nausea had finally subsided and he had managed to drink a cup of tea an hour ago. Tea that was standard issue disgusting but had tasted like nectar. He was on 4 hourly obs now, and this was probably the last night of the waking up and torch shining routine.

"Hello, you look a bit better tonight, how's the 'ead?" Once again Molly had popped her head round his door, this time before she went off to settle the other patients for the night.

"Bit better, thanks. Hey, come in a minute" he smiled at her as she came into his room "You lied to me"

"What'd I say?"

"You're not hideous at all"

Molly giggled as she left his room and went off to the main wards. They were very slack, just Smurf, who hadn't had a particularly good day and was very down, and two US marines, one of whom had tripped over his own feet and put out his arms to save himself and broken his wrist, which had been set under anaesthetic, and another who had cracked his kneecap when he fell over trying to avoid being flattened by the first one. Knee injuries are very painful and he was heavily sedated and the first one still had some anaesthetic lingering in his body, so he was okay as well, but the nurses had, at handover, sniggered very unkindly about "septic tanks" having two left feet.

Molly spent some time chatting to Smurf, he was very low. Because his section was on deployment at a FOB, apart from those who had been flown home this morning, he hadn't had any visitors to chat to, and had spent another long, boring day flat on his back. There hadn't been any other UK soldiers on the ward for him to talk to and because of his unfortunate behaviour on Day 1, the nurses weren't prepared to spend any time just sitting and chatting with him, no matter how slack they were and he was lonely and scared, imagining all sorts of horrible consequences of his injury.

"Where d'you come from then, Smurf? And what sort of bleeding name is that anyway? Did they call you that cos you look like one of them little blue men?"

"No, it's just a nickname and I come from Wales"

"Really? I fought you was French" Molly laughed "I'd already worked out that you was from Wales, I meant where in Wales?"

"I come from Newport"

"What do you do in Newport then?""

"I don't know really, go to the pub with my mates, go to the Rugby, play sometimes, or at least I used to, might not be able to any more, eh?"

"Course you will. Who you got in Newport then, you got a wife or girlfriend?"

"No, I'm available"

"Not surprised, wanker" Molly laughed "D'you live with your mum and dad then?"

"Just my Mum, my brother died out here" Molly grimaced "I don't know what my mum will do if I can't get out of this bed"

"You are going to get out of this bed, you lazy tosser, they keep telling you that it's most likely temporary " Molly desperately hoped she wasn't lying to him, she shouldn't really be promising him anything, no-one knew for absolute certain yet "I'm sorry about your brother, tell me about him"

"He was my identical twin, Geraint, everyone loved him, he was the good looking one, then he got himself shot in the neck on patrol"

"What do you mean; he was the good looking one? If you was identical twins it means you was both bleeding ugly" Molly laughed

"Captain James rescued his body to stop the Taliban getting him, but he was already dead"

"What, the Captain James what's in here?"

"Yeh, how's he doing?"

"Okay, but you've reminded me that I should be checking on him, so how about you try and get some kip and I'll see if I can get back for a bit of a chat later on"

"Where've you been?"

His tone of voice was so curt that Molly wondered what the hell he was asking that for, he knew perfectly well where she'd been, and anyway it wasn't any business of his where she'd been, he wasn't her boss, just another patient.

"I fought I'd nip home for a cuppa, seeing as how we're slack"

She regretted her words as soon as they left her lips; she remembered her resolution last time she was in bother that she was going to learn not to be such a smartarse. He might not be her boss, but he was a bleeding officer, even if he was just wearing a hospital gown that was draughty down the back, and she kept on forgetting that.

"Sorry, _Sir" _ the emphasis on the word Sir was quite deliberate, and sarcastic, she couldn't help being annoyed with him "I was settling another patient, _Sir, _one who's a bit unhappy tonight_, Sir, _one of yours actually_", _then she added as if it was an afterthought_ "Sir"_

"Which one of mine?"

"Smurf"

"What's wrong with him, I mean, I thought they said he was getting on alright and the damage isn't permanent, so why's he especially unhappy tonight?"

"Oh I dunno, maybe because he's lonely and he's been lying there all day on his own without anyone to talk to, scared that he won't be able to walk again, and if that happens he's worried how his mum will cope, what with his brother and that and he needed someone to be kind to him tonight"

"I'm sure you're just the person to do that, I hope he appreciated it"

Molly stared at him confused by his sarcastic tone, she'd thought that they were almost becoming friends, and she couldn't understand why he was being so thoroughly shitty all of a sudden. A possible explanation hit her like a ten ton truck, but she hadn't got a clue where the idea had come from and dismissed it immediately.

"I'll just do your obs, Sir and then I'll leave you in peace"

He knew he'd been a complete arse and he knew he'd upset her and that he'd completely over-reacted when she had seemed to take forever to come back from seeing the other patients, so much so that he had called the other nurse in and asked her whether they were run off their feet, only to be told that they were very quiet. Then when she had said she had been with Smurf, he had felt this rush of jealousy which was totally ridiculous and now he had made sure that she was going to push off as soon as she could.

"Molly" She raised her eyebrows at his use of her Christian name and the complete softening of his tone of voice.

"What? … Sir"

"I'm sorry, I was being an idiot, and for fuck's sake could you please stop calling me Sir"

"What would you like me to call you?"

"Well, I'd like you to call me Charles, but you can't, or rather you won't, so how about Captain or Boss like the lads call me? Or mate?"

"Okay" she resolved not to call him anything at all from now on "Do you need anything, a drink or a bottle or whatever? Before I go and check on the septic tanks and make sure Smurf's settled"

He could tell from her voice that she was still annoyed with him.

"Will you come back and talk to me afterwards?"

"Maybe, if you're not asleep when I get back"

**Author's notes: Thank you for your kind reviews, I am glad that so many of you enjoyed the opening chapter. This chapter is where Molly's relationships with CJ and Smurf start to develop; relationship's which begin to get complicated in the next chapter. Please review for me.**


	3. Chapter 3

They chatted for hours and every so often she would disappear off to check on the other patients then come back to chat some more. They talked about what had made her want to be a medic and why the army and why she wasn't training to be a 'proper nurse' as he tactlessly put it, in a civilian hospital, apparently because she didn't want to stay at home or even have to visit on her days off, and his stay at University and why he had chosen Sandhurst and a career in the army. They talked about home, her large family in the east end of London, his parents in Bath and their time at school, hers very limited and his at boarding school. She told him that if she could have gone to boarding school she would have chosen it over home any day, so he presumed that home was not exactly where the heart is, and they talked about what they liked and disliked about army life, they talked about everything except that he didn't mention Rebecca or Sam. She kept disappearing to do some routine bits and pieces but then kept coming back and then she disappeared off to help admit someone who had been brought in in the early hours and he had fallen asleep; it was daylight when he woke up and she had put her head round the door to say she was off.

"See you tonight"

"Um no, you won't, I'm off now for three days and I reckon they'll decide that the war can't do without you any longer so they'll give you a couple of aspirins for your headache and throw you out of here before I get back"

"What will you do on your days off?" He couldn't believe the feeling of intense disappointment that had swept over him.

"Go shopping in Top Shop, watch West Ham at home, go to the pub" she laughed "I'm gonna sleep, what d'you think I'm gonna do?"

"Yup, that was officially a very silly question" he tried to laugh "Molly, thanks for everything, you know, for looking after me"

"Yeah, I know, you were bleeding hard work but I'm the nuts. Just be careful what you're doing, look where you're bloody going and don't end up back in 'ere"

"I don't know, it might be worth it" he smiled at her "If I give you my e-mail address, will you let me know how you're doing sometimes, you know, keep in touch and then maybe when we get back home, we can meet up for a drink or go for a meal or something so that I can say thank you properly, I promise not to puke over you"

"Maybe" Molly giggled as she shut the door clutching the piece of paper with his e-mail address on it, she was right, she hadn't imagined it, he was flirting with her and his little performance earlier had been all about him being jealous, and she hugged the thought to herself to think about later when she was alone in her pit.

og…og…og…og…og…og

"Can you see twat magnet tattooed on there?" Molly pulled her hair back in an exaggerated move from her forehead.

"No, should I?" Susie laughed as she pretended to examine Molly's skin closely.

They had worked the night shift together for the past month and although Suz, as Molly called her, was the senior and in charge, they got on more as equals than anything else.

"Are you talking about your Rupert?"

"Don't know what you're talking about" Molly turned her back and pretended to start sorting out the medical notes she had been filing.

"Molly, I was here, remember? Just as well he's been discharged"

"He's married Suz" Molly said it as though it was just a fact that automatically meant that she was dismissing him as out of bounds, when what she really wanted to do was to wail.

"They always are" Suzie pulled a cynical face "Listen Molly, they've been away from the wife for months, they're in here, they think they're dying and then along comes someone like you, pretty and nice to them even if you have got a shit bedside manner, and there you go. As I said, I was here, remember? Just don't make the mistake of taking them too seriously, okay? Come on, here's a treat for you, you get to give your other fan a bed bath"

"What, Smurf?" Suzie nodded with an evil grin on her face "Oh shit, hasn't my day been bad enough already?"

It was two days after his discharge and the wards had filled up again, although the side ward was still empty so that Molly was aware that for some reason she missed him badly. She was busy composing her e-mail in her head as she sorted and filed medical notes; it was one of their least favourite night jobs and as Suzie was in charge it meant that Molly invariably drew the short straw and she hadn't been able to resist the temptation of reading his file when she put his observation charts in the envelope.

Charles Edward James

Rank: Captain. D.O.B: 5.7.1986, so he was 28, 8 years older than her, home address in Bath, he'd told her that, C of E, it was the next bit that had floored her; Next of Kin: Rebecca Ann James: Wife. The bastard was married and he hadn't thought to mention it, she felt the hot prickle of tears on the backs of her eyes, so what was all that about? The lets 'meet up for a drink' crap? Did she look like she'd be happy being someone's bit on the side? However much she'd liked him, fancied him even, there was no way that was going to happen. She took the piece of paper with his e-mail address on it and turned it into confetti, tearing it into smaller and smaller pieces as she made sure she couldn't have a change of heart and contact him.

She went to blanket bath Smurf who was showing all the signs of having an almighty crush on her and had obviously mistaken her misguided attempts to show some compassion as a sign that she was as enamoured with him as he was with her and never let up for a moment. He was making good progress and was going to be allowed to sit up tomorrow, as some of the swelling in his back had subsided and some feeling had returned to his arms and legs, which meant that his discharge and repatriation to the UK would quickly follow and it couldn't come quickly enough for Molly. It wasn't that she disliked him as much as most of the other nurses did, he irritated the life out of them, she actually felt sorry for him more than she disliked him, but he was not now, nor ever could be, boyfriend, partner or whatever else he had in mind, material, the most he could ever be was a mate and unless he accepted that, he was going to be a nothing at all.

"Hello Molls, haven't seen you since last night, have you missed me as much as I've missed you?""

"Give it a rest Smurf, I'm not in the mood for your bollocks tonight"

"Cheer up, you'll soon be going home and then we can do the sights of Newport, my mum can't wait to meet you"

"Hope she's not holding her breath, mate"

"Come on, we'll have to meet each other's families sooner or later"

"I keep telling you, there is no "we" or "us", we ain't going to go out together or meet each other's families or live 'appily ever after, it ain't gonna happen, alright tosser?"

"You'll change your mind when I get off this bed and we get home, you'll realise that you love me as much as I love you, you'll see, and you know I'll always be there for you, to look after you"

"In your dreams, sunshine. Listen, Smurf, you don't seem to have got it, it ain't gonna happen mate, and you don't love me and I definitely don't love you, so just give it a bleeding rest, will you?"

"Ooh, someone got out of bed the wrong side tonight"

og…og…og…og…og…og

He had been discharged on the second of her days off and had, by that time, been almost glad to go. He was feeling better by the minute, even though he had been decidedly tottery when he'd first got up and was being discharged to light duties and would then, all being well, be returning to the FOB in a week or so. The days waiting to be discharged from hospital had been very long so he had tended to sleep away much of the afternoon and then had an even longer night to get through without the chats with her to look forward to. He had no idea why he found her company so attractive, they were poles apart in almost every way that he had always thought mattered, but for some reason she made him very aware of how lonely he was. He was really looking forward to hearing from her, to seeing whether the way he felt right now could lead to a proper relationship, to exchang e-mails with her and to then meet up when they got back to the UK.

He had carried on checking his inbox for weeks as it became more and more obvious that she wasn't going to contact him, and he was kicking himself that hadn't asked for any contact details from her, so he couldn't be the one to open a conversation. Eventually of course, he had no choice but to accept the fact that he had just been another patient and that he had obviously misread things completely when he was laying in that hospital bed and she had started to seem so important to him; and that his belief that those feelings were mutual had been a complete figment of his imagination.

His long stay in the Queen Elizabeth had reminded him of being in hospital at Bastion, the endless checks that disturbed sleep, the fact that peaceful sleep was very hard to come by at all in hospital unless you take some drug or other which he didn't really want to do, but was forced into on occasion. What he wanted to do was to sit and chat to a pretty cockney with a lovely smile and hair that he had longed to release from its plait so that he could run his hands through it, a gobby medic who was not only very pretty but who was also very cheeky and who made him laugh and who had apparently only seen him as a patient and had promptly forgotten all about him as soon as he was discharged.

og..og..og..og..og..og

She had actually continued her friendship with Smurf and met up with him regularly after he had been repatriated to the UK and she had been posted to Headley Court where she was being trained as a grade 3 CMT. She was seriously considering asking to transfer to Birmingham City University and doing the degree course and becoming what someone had once described to her as a 'proper nurse'. Smurf had made a full recovery and was back at Pirbright with the rest of his section and although he had, on the surface, accepted her decision that they were not going to be a marriage made in heaven, there was still sometimes enough of an undercurrent when they were together to make Molly uncomfortable. She wasn't entirely sure that he had believed her when she said it was never going to happen, but it was good to meet up with him on her days off, to go to the pub that was local to the camp where he was stationed, and to meet and make friends with the rest of his section, those that she hadn't already met and tended at Bastion. She never asked about their Captain and no-one volunteered any information about him or even mentioned him to her, and she knew because she had listened very carefully.

Suzie had told her that he had got himself shot in his stomach and leg and it had been very serious, touch and go for a while as to whether he'd make it, he had to be resuscitated several times and had spent a long time in the Queen Elizabeth and had been admitted for the three weeks residential to get the mobility back in his leg. She said he looked much the same, had lost a bit of weight but was even better looking without the black eyes and that he'd apparently remembered her, had said it was nice to see a familiar face, but that he hadn't asked about Molly. Molly didn't know whether she was upset that he'd apparently forgotten her or didn't want to know about her or relieved that she hadn't got any reason to get all worked up about him again.

The warm flood of joy that had swept through him when he had first set eyes on her sitting there on her own drinking a mug of something, probably tea, he remembered her saying she preferred it to coffee, had brought a huge smile to his face, but there was now a long silence when they both struggled to know what to say to each other, or even to look each other in the eye, so that what they did say was stilted and awkward and nothing like the easy camaraderie they had enjoyed at Bastion.

"So, are you enjoying it here?"

"Yeah, nothing I like better than night duty"

"I remember"

**Author's notes: Thank you for all your kind comments, and for those of you who say that you worry that I will get bored with what you say in your reviews, I can only say "Are you kidding?" I love every word you say and it's what keeps me motivated when, like all the people who contribute to these pages, I get huge amounts of self-doubt. It's your reviews that tell those of us that write to keep going. **


	4. Chapter 4

Molly started to collect her belongings together, ready to escape and go home, it had been a heavy night and she had only called in to drink a cuppa to try to raise enough energy to walk home. She felt self-conscious and uncomfortable as she suddenly found the top of the table fascinating, with its sticky spills and she started drawing circles with her fingertip in some spilt sugar, knowing that all she wanted was to ask him whether Suzie had been right about why he'd lied to her but she didn't know how she could after all this time, she wouldn't have a clue how to start. He was finding it equally difficult to stop himself from asking her why she hadn't mailed him.

"Are you going?"

"Yeah, I was on my way home, only came in to get a cuppa before I set off"

"Where do you live, is it far?"

"Livingston Park, it's in Epsom"

"Excellent"

"Yup, I'm a bleeding genius I am, I can still remember me address even after a hard night at the coal face"

He looked up quickly and then looked at her face properly for the first time since he'd said hello and realised that she was laughing at him, she was still the Molly he remembered from Bastion.

"Are you taking the piss?" He started laughing.

"No, well, yes, but just a bit. I really do have to go though, it's a long walk and I don't wanna fall asleep half way home"

"Will you meet me the same time tomorrow? If you meet me, I'll buy you a coffee, no I won't, I'll buy you a tea. Please?"

"Maybe"

Answering "maybe" meant that she could get away and think about it when her head was back on straight, maybe when she'd had some sleep. Despite her exhaustion she lay awake for hours, trying to decide what she wanted. In spite of the strict lecture she had given herself during her trudge home, the question of whether she would meet him or not was a non-starter, of course she would meet him, but it was the 'what comes after' that was keeping her from dropping off. After all, she hardly knew him, had only spent a few hours in his company, when he had been a sort of captive audience for her chat, and Suzie was probably right about how and why it started. They hadn't seen each other for more than a year, what the hell would they talk about? Unlike the fantasies of him that had helped her to get off to sleep wrapped in a warm glow, she could no longer pretend that everything was as straightforward as it had been in her day dreams. He was still married, so that made him a definite out of bounds, she did not get involved with married men, he was still an officer, so that made him another definite no, there were strict rules about relationships between different ranks and he was a patient, and there were strict rules about that as well, so that made it the hat-trick. On the other hand, one look had reminded her just how much she fancied him and one smile had sent the butterflies in her stomach into free-fall and the look on his face when he smiled at her told her that she wasn't imagining anything, that it wasn't just her who felt like that.

He had spent most of yesterday with a stupid grin on his face, so that the physio had asked him what was making him so happy and had then said that if he was that cheerful they obviously weren't working him hard enough and then trotted out the cliché that there was no gain without pain. He had laughed and said for them to bring it on, he just wanted to get fit as quickly as possible, although he didn't mention what he wanted to get fit for, it was none of their business and anyway he was scared to even spell it out to himself in case he jinxed it. It was only now, sitting in a bloody cafeteria waiting for her that the nerves had kicked in. "Maybe" she'd said "maybe", and he remembered now that that's what she'd said when he'd asked her to e-mail him and she hadn't done it, so 'maybe' could possibly be her way of saying no, and now she was late and he was horribly afraid she wasn't coming at all.

"Sorry I'm late, it was mental last night"

"You look tired" He went to the counter to get her a cup of tea. He badly wanted to kiss her hello and was very tempted, but the cafeteria was packed and he didn't want his face slapped in front of all these people.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that if you tell a girl she looks tired, it's like saying she looks old and 'aggard and 'orrible" She laughed although she wanted to add 'didn't your wife ever tell you that?' or maybe his wife never looked tired, she was probably as posh as him and had never had to work in her life, let alone work a night shift.

"Sorry" he pulled a contrite face then smiled at her, sending her butterflies into orbit again "You don't look old or haggard or horrible, you look beautiful" he paused "and just a little bit tired"

"Thanks, you don't look too shabby yourself"

"Even with a limp?"

"Stop looking for sympathy, cos you won't get any here. Some of the poor bastards I was looking after last night would be bleeding grateful to have got away with just a limp. I know they're really brave and that, but I was looking after one this morning who was a bit upset, he's had both his bloody legs blown off and his wife's just dumped him. I mean, how could she do that? He's still the same bloke she married isn't he? I know I'm not supposed to judge or nothing but he makes me want to go out and hit something, preferably her. And he's not the only one, some of them are so badly hurt so that the state they're in makes me wonder how they keep so bleeding cheerful all the time, but they do, you know? They spend all their time cracking jokes and laughing at themselves, and each other"

"I know, but they're lucky having you looking after them"

"Are they? What with my shit bedside manner?"

"There's nothing wrong with your bedside manner, I liked it, in fact, I loved it"

"You're biased"

Their conversation had suddenly drifted into very dangerous territory without either of them steering it there and for the moment there was complete silence as they locked eyes, unable to look away from each other and unsure how to get back to neutral ground, or even if they wanted to. They were rescued by a shout from a young male CMT who called across the room to Molly.

"Oi Moll, you working tonight?"

"No, why?"

"Rehearsal 7 sharp, and don't even think of trying to get out of it, or of making some sort of shit excuse, if you're not working we need you" He flattened his hand over his heart as he said the last bit as if he was making a life or death plea.

"Okay, but I didn't know you was that desperate"

"Yes you did" He laughed as he said it and Molly nodded an acknowledgement, both of the rehearsal and his implied insult to her talent.

"Cheeky sod"

She turned back to Charles, who lifted one eyebrow as a question.

"We're putting on a bleeding panto for the poor sods what are stuck here for Christmas and aren't fit enough to run and hide in the bogs. As if the poor bastards ain't got enough problems, they get to watch us murdering Snow White, well not literally of course, but near enough"

"Who are you playing, Snow White?"

"No, of course not, we've already got the bloody costume and Snow White has to be tall enough to fit it. No, I'll give you a clue, and don't you dare say Dopey" she was giggling "This is the low budget version; we've only got 5 dwarves, cos no other bugger would join in, unless you want to do it?"

"I'm a bit tall to play a dwarf"

"Don't matter, I'm the wrong sex and I'm doing it. I'm playing a cross between Sleepy, which will be right cos I'll probably be bloody knackered as I've gotta work the night before and Happy, because I don't usually give a toss. I didn't want to be Doc cos I don't think anyone cares about blokes with man flu in here"

"Sounds like fun, can I come and watch?"

"What on earth would you want to do that for? What are you, some sort of martyr? You'll be back in Bath having a normal Christmas" she resisted the temptation to say 'with your wife' "and it'll be complete crap anyway" She badly wanted to add 'and what'll you do with your wife while you're here watching a shit pantomime?'

"I wouldn't know what a so-called normal Christmas feels like, I haven't had one at home in Bath for years, most of my recent ones have been spent walking around with a weapon at a FOB somewhere surrounded by a load of homesick squaddies"

"Even that's gotta be better than watching our crap pantomime which will probably end up being totally unsuitable for the kids and families cos it will most likely be very blue. I dunno what it is with soldiers but being funny usually means being bleeding disgusting and very smutty"

"Will you be going home to see your family any time over Christmas? "

"Nah, I might pop home the day after Boxing Day, but I'm working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day so I'll be knackered on Boxing Day but then I've got till New Year off, so it'll be hard to avoid going home completely. Not that it'll make much difference to them, they won't miss me, well, me Nan might and maybe me mum a bit, but we ain't exactly the Waltons"

"Who?"

"You know, John Boy, Jim Bob? Oh, never mind, forget it" She laughed at his puzzled expression "It's just something off the tele, it's not important"

"Why do you think they won't miss you?"

"It's a long story, mate, and I don't really wanna talk about it, it's just that I ain't exactly me dad's favourite person"

She had mentioned a strained relationship with her family during their chat at Bastion and she couldn't have made the 'keep out' signs any clearer so he decided to change the subject, much as he would have loved to ask her why she and her dad weren't close. He couldn't think of anything he would rather do than spend Christmas here with her, crap pantomime or not. He wasn't looking forward to spending it with his parents in Bath, especially as he wouldn't be seeing Sam; Rebecca was taking him skiing with his other grandparents.

"Have you got just one night off? "

"No, two nights, bleeding fantastic , two whole nights in bed and God help anyone who wakes me up unless the 'ouse is on fire"

"They're throwing me out of here the day after tomorrow for Christmas; can I take you out to lunch before I get the train back to Bath?

There was a long pause during which Molly suddenly found the table top fascinating again as she thought about it.

"I dunno, you're still a patient and it's against the rules"

"I won't be a patient in a couple of days, and it's only lunch"

"Where?"

I don't know, you're the local, you choose"

"Give me your mobile number and I'll have a think and call you"

"Is this going to be the same as saying you'll e-mail me? Because if it is I'd rather you told me now"

"No, I will call you, I promise"

**Author's notes: I know, I know, it's a bit of a cliffhanger! Thank you for your reviews, they mean the world to me. **

**It is lucky that I had most of the outlines of these chapters written before I started to upload as I now live in a sanatorium, the cockwomble has a cold, or double pneumonia as he would have it, so he requires the services of Florence Nightingale, aka me, 24/7, another thing I don't have a natural talent for, as well as keeping the house immaculately tidy and running a B&amp;B.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Charles?"

"Hello Molly"

"You recognised my voice"

"Of course I recognised your voice, anyway I wasn't expecting any other gorgeous girls to call me today"

"Are you grinning?"

"Of course I'm grinning, how did you know?"

"I can hear it in your voice"

"Are you flirting with me, Miss Dawes?"

"No, well yeah, maybe just a bit. Listen, lunch tomorrow…"

"Where are we eating?"

"Do you like Italian?"

"I like everything, oh, except squid and beetroot" he laughed as he longed to add, I don't care what I eat, I'll even eat squid, as long as I can eat it with you, but he didn't want to come on too strong and scare her off.

"Neapolitan House in the 'igh Street and I don't know whether they serve squid, or beetroot as it happens"

"Is it nice there?"

"No, I fought I'd pick a shit-hole. Course it's nice, although to be honest I've never actually been in there cos I fink it's well posh and I'm not, but I think it would suit you, you being posh and that"

"I'm not posh Molly, and I'd be just as happy to eat in Pizza Hut"

"Now you're being a cheapskate"

"No, I didn't mean it like that" he laughed "Neapolitan House it is then, what, about 12.30? Will the taxi know where it is?"

"Yeah I said, it's in the 'igh Street, he can't miss it. I'll see you there about half past twelve"

"Lovely, I'm looking forward to seeing you, I missed you this morning"

"Yeah, me too"

"I'll see you tomorrow"

"Yeah"

Neither of them wanted to be the first to put the phone down and Charles could have easily spent the rest of the evening talking about nothing in particular, just talking to her, when Molly's flatmate put in an inconvenient appearance, forcing Molly to be the one to end the call.

"I gotta go, Suzie's just come in and I ain't seen her for a couple of days"

"Goodnight, sleep well"

"Yeah, I will, goodnight to you too"

"See you tomorrow"

"I gotta go" she giggled "Sleep well"

Molly had spent a great deal of the day thinking about what she was going to do, on the one hand going out to eat with him broke just about every rule in her book, she simply did not want to mess with a married man, and what was worse a married officer, and okay he wasn't strictly a patient any more, but there was no escaping the other two. But, as he had said, it was only lunch, it wasn't as though she was going to jump into bed with him, no matter how tempting the thought of that was, and that was where the problem was as far as she was concerned. She knew that going to lunch with him could very well be the first step on a very slippery slope, one that she knew she shouldn't even be thinking about taking, her conscience was already screaming that even thinking of doing it was wrong, but she badly wanted to do it anyway, so she made a deal with herself, it wasn't a date, it was one lunch which wouldn't hurt anyone and then that would be it, definitely no more after that. One thing that was puzzling her was why he didn't seem to be a shit, she had always thought that anyone who cheated on his wife had to be a complete shit and that wasn't how he came across at all.

He phoned the restaurant and made a booking knowing that it was likely to be very busy during the week leading up to Christmas and was glad he had, they said that they could squeeze them in, which gave him visions of being put on a tiny table right by the kitchens or even worse, the loos, and he desperately hoped that wouldn't be the case, he didn't want Molly to be disappointed. He got there early, reasoning that if it was not what he wanted, he would wait for her outside and go somewhere else. He wished now he had arranged to pick her up at home, although he couldn't be sure that she would have gone for that, she might have thought that he had some ulterior motive. But, it was fine, it was more than fine, it was very nice despite the large table full of noisy half-cut revellers who were obviously from a local company, but they were far enough away from them not to be a huge problem.

Molly had spent all morning getting ready, knowing that she was breaking her own promise to herself that she wasn't going to treat it as a date as such, but she couldn't help wanting to look the best she could, after all, he had only ever seen her wearing scrubs with her hair in a plait and without a scrap of make-up on. She brushed her hair till it shone and made up her face with great care, then washed it all off, she was suddenly afraid of looking as if she's tried too hard, then said 'sod it' and put it back on, if this was going to be her one and only chance to spend time alone with a bloke she fancied something rotten, then she wanted to look as good as she could, so that that was how he would remember her.

He was waiting when she walked into the restaurant and he got up to come and greet her with the biggest smile on his face, one that she knew was mirrored on her own face and despite all her good resolutions, all her promises to herself, she knew that this wasn't ever going to be 'just lunch', and judging by the look in his eyes and the smile on his lips, he was in the same sort of trouble as she was.

"You are beautiful" he whispered as he kissed her cheek and then held out her chair for her to sit down

"Thanks, I don't look tired today then?"

"Nope, you obviously slept well; you don't look old or haggard or horrible, just bloody gorgeous"

There was a long silence when they both just sat without speaking and smiled into each other's eyes as if they were under some sort of spell, a spell which was broken by the wine waiter and a waitress coming to take their order. They hadn't even looked at the menus. Needing to concentrate on something apart from his eyes and smile forced Molly to start a conversation, much as she wanted to just sit and smile back at him, she knew that it would be the end of the pact she had made with herself if they did that, and nothing had changed, he was still married and her butterflies were back in free fall.

"What will you do after Headley? Will you go back to the same section?"

"I don't know, at the moment that's the plan, yes, but it depends on how well my leg does, I may not stay in at all, may resign my commission, I'm not certain, I don't want a desk job that's for sure"

"Might be safer with your track record" she laughed as he called her a cheeky mare, "If you do jack it in, what you will do instead?"

"I haven't got a clue, join the ranks of the unemployed probably, Benefits Street here I come"

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"No, not really, I mean I don't know what I'll do, but I doubt it'll be that bad. What will you do when you've finished at Headley? Stay in and get another posting or do something completely different?"

"I'm thinking of transferring to Birmingham, to go to the University and do the degree course, I'm gonna try and be what someone once called 'a proper nurse'.

"That was me wasn't it? I was the fucking idiot that said that, Jesus what an arse. I don't know what I was thinking. When I was in that hospital bed feeling like shit, you were bloody brilliant to me, made me feel, I don't know, sort of comforted when you were there. I think you're a brilliant nurse and you're probably going to be even more brilliant if you do that course, if that's possible"

"Thank you. Most people say I've got a shit bedside manner"

"Well, most people are completely wrong then, you're perfect"

"I don't do perfect"

"Yes you do and you don't have to do anything, you just are"

Time flew past as they talked about what they wanted for Christmas and then what they were doing that weekend, the last before Christmas and he told her about going to Pirbright to join in the Christmas booze up that the section had organised. She wondered whether to tell him that she had turned down the invitation to join them, and whether it was too late to change her mind, then decided against it, it was bound to be really boozy and she was out of the habit of doing really boozy and was more than likely a very cheap drunk these days, and the idea of facing the following night's shift with a massive hangover didn't bear thinking about. She wondered whether to ask him to give her love to Smurf and the rest of the lads, then decided not to, she had the feeling it would spoil the rest of their time together.

"They're having a good time" Molly looked across at the office outing which had progressed onto some sort of Secret Santa gift distribution, which appeared, from the raucous shrieks of laughter, to be pretty obscene.

"Yes, aren't they?" Charles looked at his watch "Sore heads later, though. Molly, I've going to have to go in a minute, otherwise I'm going to miss my train, I mean, I don't want to but the next one isn't for a couple of hours, so…." He knew it probably wasn't going to happen and that it wasn't even a particularly good idea, it was rushing things more than a bit, but he desperately wanted her to ask him to miss his train and to stay.

They left the restaurant with his hand resting on her shoulder as he guided her past the raucous Christmas party and saw her face turn towards them with a big grin plastered all over it as she enjoyed their enjoyment and for the first time he compared her to Rebecca. Rebecca would have thrown a fit, she would have been completely outraged at having their quiet lunch accompanied by shrieks and shouts of laughter from other diners who were obviously well on the way to being pissed.

The station was busy for a Thursday afternoon as they stood there holding hands and looked at each other, neither of them wanting to part and both of them knowing that it was the right thing to do but for very different reasons. Molly because she was already feeling the pangs of conscience that she knew were going to hit her with a vengeance when she got into bed that night and Charles because his self-control was hanging by a thread.

"Can I call you on Boxing Day, maybe come and see you?"

"Okay" she knew she was going to have to find a way of telling him that this wasn't going to happen, but wanted to enjoy the last few minutes of being with him.

"Have a lovely Christmas and enjoy your pantomime, I know you'll be brilliant"

"I don't think so. You have a great Christmas too, and don't get too rat arsed when you're out with the lads, you don't wanna end up in an hospital again somewhere" She laughed and shook her head "Sorry, I sound just like someone's mum, don't I?"

He shook his head and smiled as he tucked her hair behind her ears then wound his fingers into the hair on the back of her head and pulled her gently towards him. He bent his head and dropped a soft kiss on her closed lips and Molly felt like a teaspoon of sugar stirred into a hot liquid, everything seemed to melt, starting with the pit of her stomach which disappeared completely and then her bones which no longer seemed to belong to her.

"Molly" he whispered as she fought to keep control of what was left of her senses, then wound her arms round his neck and pulled his head down towards her, knowing she was breaking the rules she had made for herself and was playing with fire and she did it anyway. The kiss they exchanged was soft and gentle and it filled her with stomach churning excitement, but it was full of a promise that she knew she couldn't keep, not as things stood anyway; when he called on Boxing Day she was going to have to tell him that it wasn't going to happen because she knew about Rebecca.

"Bye" she whispered as she licked her lips, a hot mixture of adrenalin and lust from their kiss and the wine she had drunk with lunch had combined to make her mouth completely dry.

"Bye, I….….." he went to add something and changed his mind as he cupped her face in his hands and dropped another butterfly kiss on her mouth "Speak to you soon"

**Author's notes: Thanks for your lovely reviews and your good wishes for the speedy recovery of my Intensive Care candidate who is enjoying the best of bad health. I have also got a cold, but, being a woman, I am just getting on with it.**

**To all the lovely people who are very anxious for me to get them into bed together, I would like to say that sometimes the journey can be as much fun as arriving at the destination and there is a little way to go yet. **


	6. Chapter 6

Molly rested her forehead against the window of the bus and stared at the busy High street with completely unseeing eyes, all she could see was her mental picture of his wife sitting at home waiting for him to get back from Headley Court. She had no idea what she looked like of course, or what their home was like, except it was most probably nice, but she imagined her to be everything that she'd always wanted to be and wasn't, tall with long, blonde hair and all sort of shiny and very posh, probably with one of them bands in her hair. Okay, the complete opposite of her. What the hell was he doing messing with her like this? And he was messing with her, or trying to, and she was just as keen as he was, given half a chance she would be in bed with him right now, pact or no pact, and, try as she might, she just couldn't think of him as the lying, cheating scumbag she knew he was.

She didn't know whether it was the wine or what it was but she was now totally confused as she tortured herself imagining the sort of reunion he would be having with his wife, after all they hadn't seen each other for weeks, she was sure Suzie would have filled her in if the wife had visited, which come to think of it was a bit odd. He'd been there almost three weeks, why hadn't Rebecca visited him? And then a possible answer struck her, oh shit, they've got kids, that's why. Thinking about his wife and their reunion and the fact that they'd more than likely got kids wasn't really having the effect it was supposed to, she was still wishing that she'd had the guts to ask him to come back home with her. She had the feeling that he would have been more than willing, and it wouldn't have been the first one-night stand she'd ever had, although all that was way back in her past. The only problem was, even a one night stand was wrong if you knew one of you was married and if she was being honest, she was sure that it wouldn't have stayed at a one-night stand and she wasn't up for an affair with a married bloke with kids, the one thing she'd never wanted to be was a home wrecker. She'd have to work out what she was going to say but she needed to put the kibosh on it on Boxing Day, no more messing, it was doing her head in.

og…og…og…og…og

Charles knew he was going to have to pace himself a bit better, he had only been with the lads an hour and he was well on his way to being rat-arsed as Molly would have put it. Afghanistan, a long stay in the Queen Elizabeth and then Headley Court meant that his alcohol tolerance was minimal and he certainly couldn't keep up with the lads, nowhere near. They'd been really pleased to see him with two fully functioning legs and back on his own two feet with only a slight limp, bearing in mind that the last time they'd seen him he was bleeding to death in the back of a helicopter.

"How was Headley Court Boss?" Kinders was probably only being polite but the wicked side of Charles' sense of humour was tempted to embroider the truth and fill their heads with horror stories.

"Fine" he thought better of it, you never actually knew who was going to need their services next and he would hate to be responsible for someone's dread of going there if they needed it.

"Did you come across my Mols?" Smurf had the stupid expression of the exceptionally pissed on his face "She works there, you'll most likely remember her from the hospital at Bastion"

My Mols, m_y Mols? Since when had she been his Mols? _Molly hadn't mentioned him, but then he hadn't actually asked whether she was seeing anyone, surely she would have told him if she was seeing him, wouldn't she? He became aware that they were still talking about her.

"Are…..you…..spending…..Christmas…..with…..her?" Fingers was making silly kissing noises and faces as he spoke.

"A bit of it, she's got to work and then she's in some stupid pantomime they're doing on Christmas Day, so I'm going to watch that, then I'll stay Christmas night, have a little Christmas delight and then go home to see my mum on Boxing Day"

"Is she going with you?"

"Not sure, but I don't think so, I think she'll probably go and see her own family"

"Smurf's lady love" Kinders kindly decided to fill Charles in "Nice girl, tiny, very pretty. Molly something or other, I'm not sure she's as keen on him as he is on her mind, but who can tell, it's been going on since he was in the hospital at Bastion apparently and he's really smitten, keeps saying he's going to marry her. She's been down here for a drink once or twice and we asked her if she wanted to come tonight actually but she binned us, said she didn't want to get pissed because she's working tomorrow"

He was sobering up fast, as he thought it was no wonder that she didn't want him to go and watch her bloody pantomime and when exactly did she bin their invitation to come down here for a piss-up, was it before or after she knew he was coming? He wanted to yell in Smurf's stupid drunken face, 'You know what, you should have been where I was on Thursday, in that bloody restaurant and even better, at the station afterwards, you don't know what you missed' He knew it wasn't Smurf's fault, but there was something about the suggestiveness of his comments that had got to him. It was his own fault because he had made all sorts of assumptions about her, he hadn't thought he needed to check that she wasn't involved with anyone, it hadn't even crossed his mind that she might be, and she definitely hadn't behaved as though she was, so maybe Kinders was right and she wasn't as keen on Smurf as he was on her. He knew he was clutching at straws because if it was all true it certainly explained the lack of e-mails.

"When did you invite her?" He knew that Kinders, who definitely wasn't pissed, would think it was a bloody strange question to be asking but he didn't care what Kinders thought, he really needed to know.

"I don't know, weeks ago, about the same time as we asked you, why do you ask? She turned it down straight away, I remember lover boy was quite upset at the time" Kinders looked at him with a puzzled expression on his face.

"No reason, just interested" he lied "Listen Derek, I'm going to put some money behind the bar so that the lads can have another drink or two, although some of them look like they've had more than enough already, and then I'm calling this a night. I've got to drive to Bath in the morning and I don't want any bother with the breathalyser boys" He did his best to smile naturally "Have a good Christmas and hopefully I'll lose the limp and be back in the New Year"

He made his way to the room in barracks that the duty officer and the QM had sorted out for him, he hadn't stayed in barracks since before their last tour of Afghanistan, and it felt very claustrophobic being in one of the tiny "duty" rooms. He lay on the bed turning his mobile phone over and over in his hands, he badly wanted to call her and get it straight from her, but it was gone 1.00 in the morning and if she wasn't working then she'd be asleep. Apart from that he wasn't entirely sober so he knew it would probably be best to calm down otherwise he was likely to say things he'd regret and he should wait until Boxing Day as they'd agreed, but that was four days away and he wasn't sure if he could wait that long. He had no right to feel the way he did, they were not actually in a relationship as such, but he couldn't help being deeply hurt and bitterly disappointed.

og…og…og…og…og…og

The pantomime was as dire as Molly had predicted, but it was also enormous fun, probably more for the cast than the audience and that was saying something. The audience had loved it, cheering each cock-up to the rafters and as one of them said in the 'post match thank you speech', they would have given a standing ovation if they could stand, a comment that got another big round of cheers.

Snow white had marched off in a huff before it started because someone suggested she should mime instead of singing and her replacement didn't know any of the words so she just kept opening and shutting her mouth, usually at the wrong times, while someone else read them from the side-lines. The wicked queen was pissed and fell off the stage and could then be heard swearing her head off as she had to do the rest of it on crutches, and the bench the dwarves were sitting had a problem with its folding legs which kept collapsing so they all kept ending up on their backsides. No-one knew where the apple had gone so they used a satsuma instead and the prince never showed up at all, so one of the amputees, who was in a wheelchair, did the honours of kissing Snow White, much to the delight of his mates in the audience who yelled very un-pantomime like comments.

Christmas night was surprisingly easy on the nursing staff, most of the patients were knackered after a very full-on day, and the nurses were grateful because they were equally knackered. Molly kept looking at the clock wishing the hours away, she was anxious to get home and turf Smurf off her sofa and get him on his way to see his mum, so that she could get some sleep before Charles rang. She still hadn't made up her mind what she was going to say to him; all she knew was that she was in trouble. She was sorry now that it was Smurf and not him in the audience at the pantomime because she had missed him badly over the last few days and couldn't wait to hear his voice, which hadn't been in the plan at all.

og…og…og…og…og…og

Charles' mum and dad were heartily tired of him by Boxing Day morning, he had been morose and miserable all over the holiday, a state of mind that his mother had put down to missing Sam. She thought that Rebecca was a bitch and that she had been extremely selfish taking Sam away this year, he hadn't spent a Christmas with his father for years and with the year Charles had had, he really deserved to have things go his way for once. His health had seemed to be improving at last and he hadn't seemed to be depressed when he had come back from Headley a couple of days before, in fact he had seemed almost back to his old self, but that had all changed again. She was very aware that she had nearly lost him earlier in the year and she'd wanted to spoil him, but the mood he was in now, it was obviously best to keep those sentiments to herself.

He woke up at the crack of dawn on Boxing Day, far too early to call her, he remembered her saying that she was working Christmas night so she wouldn't be home for another couple of hours, always supposing that Smurf had been the one who was lying when he said that they were spending Christmas night together and not her. He got up and did some exercises with a wry smile on his face; his physio would be impressed even if no-one else was, then got some breakfast and checked the time again. Almost there and he hadn't decided what he wanted to say yet, he needed to think it through otherwise he was just going to end up yelling 'why him?' and 'when did it start?' And 'what the fuck?'

"Hello Molly"

"Hello, you okay?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"I dunno, you sound a bit, dunno, funny. Is there something wrong?"

"Are you on your own?"

"Yeah, course I am"

"I think we need to have a bit of a chat. Can I come and see you? I can be there in a couple of hours"

"There is something wrong isn't there? Come on, tell me now, what's going on?"

"Are you on your own?"

"Yeah, I said, who'd you think's with me? What the fuck's going on Charles?"

"Where's Smurf?" He hadn't meant to ask that, it was as if he was so wound up he couldn't stop the words tumbling out of his mouth.

"On his way to his mums I should think, how would I know?"

"Did he stay with you last night?"

"What you talking about? I was working last night, I told you that" She was getting more than a little annoyed at his tone of voice, she was starting to feel that she was having to defend herself; this was not the way she had expected this conversation to go.

"Did he stay, Molly?"

"What you asking here?"

"You and Smurf, you should have told me"

"Where did you get that idea from? There isn't any me and Smurf, there never has been and there never will be, and if it was 'im what told you that, he was talking bollocks, but even if there was anything going on it's got fuck all to do with you? I'm not the one who's telling lies"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about"

"No, I don't, I've never lied to you"

"Been pretty economical with the truth though, haven't you? I tell you what, just piss off and leave me alone"

He was left staring at a dead phone; she'd hung up on him.

**Author's notes: I decided that the goalposts would had moved when Smurf put a spanner in the works and the sort of conversation they would have had would almost inevitably have led to "words" being exchanged, and if words are exchanged in a phone call then one or other of them, probably Molly, would hang up, end of beautiful friendship. **

**Thank you for your concern for my dear husband, he is making a slow and brave recovery, with only minor relapses when the dishwasher needs emptying or the rubbish needs taking out.**

**Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, they are so encouraging.**


	7. Chapter 7

Straight to voice mail again. This was the fifth time he had rung in an hour and the fifth time he had left an almost identical message.

"Please Molly, pick up. I'm sorry, I never meant for any of that to happen and I really don't know what you're talking about, I've never lied to you"

Molly sat up in bed holding her mobile phone and banging it against the palm of her hand as she thought about what she wanted to do. She hadn't slept in over 36 hours and was light headed with exhaustion as well as struggling against the urge to give in and cry. She had had every intention of breaking off her friendship with him today, or at least she thought that that was what she'd intended doing, or she'd told herself she was prepared for him to break it off because his wife had found out or because he didn't want to be a lying cheating scumbag to her any more, but not like this, this felt all wrong, it was so unfair. He'd got on his high horse and accused her of being a slut, of sleeping with Smurf. For fuck's sake he was mad at her for something she hadn't done while he was denying doing something she knew for a fact that he had done. She wasn't sure whether she was upset or mostly just flaming furious with him.

Her phone rang again and this time she angrily swiped the symbol on the screen.

"WHAT?"

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, please let me come and talk to you"

"Leave me alone, I don't wanna talk to you and stop bloody ringing me, I'm tired, I haven't been to bed for two days and I just wanna go to sleep"

"Tell me which flat it is and then I can drive up later when you've had some sleep and we can talk"

"Oh for fuck's sake if I give you the number will you stop ringing me and let me get some kip"

"Yes"

"There's no point in you coming cos I don't have anything to say to you, but please yourself, its number 26. Now will you please sod off and let me go to bed"

"Yes, sorry, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I've got things I need to say to you"

He hadn't been given the all-clear from the doctors to drive and this would be the third time in four days he had driven longish distances and Bath to Epsom was a fair old hike. He hoped he wasn't going to pay the price with damage to his recovery but it was a Bank Holiday and there were no proper train services and he reasoned that if he could risk his leg to go on a booze up, which had turned out to be a fucking disaster, he would certainly risk it for this. Then he had a brainwave, his mother's automatic.

"Mum, can I borrow your car please?"

"Of course you can, how long are you going to be out?"

"Not sure, I'll let you know, okay? And if it gets very late I'll find a Travelodge somewhere"

He wasn't sure what time he should show up at Molly's they hadn't actually agreed anything and he didn't want to wake her, it was probably going to be difficult enough to get her back on-side without starting off on completely the wrong foot, although there was a little glimmer of hope in the fact that if she'd really meant that she didn't want to talk to him ever again, she would have just switched her phone off. It would take about two and a half hours to drive there, so he reckoned on giving himself three to allow for breaks to stretch his leg and aimed to get there around six. To say he was nervous would be an understatement.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" He'd had a sinking feeling in his stomach when she'd finally answered the door because she was wearing pyjamas and a dressing gown and her hair was a tangled mass of curls instead of her usual sleek locks. She had obviously just got out of bed and he couldn't help noticing how sexy she looked, all rumpled and sleepy, and just how much he'd missed her and how much he wanted to hug her hello, then tried hard to think about something else, something less inappropriate.

"What's the time?"

"Around 6"

"Nah, time I got up anyway or I won't sleep tonight. Come in and make yourself a tea or something, there's some coffee there but it's probably bloody disgusting, it's Suzie's but she won't mind" she lied "I'm gonna get dressed"

"Can I make you one?"

"Please, I'll have tea"

She desperately needed to get away from him because her first instinct had been to put her arms round him and hug him as hard as she could, she had missed him so much and although she was still furious with him, this morning's little drama didn't seem to have changed anything, her butterflies had gone into orbit as soon as she'd seen him. She needed to shower and get dressed and brush her teeth and her hair, maybe even put some make-up on, she was at a distinct disadvantage just out of bed, all bare faced and crumpled, very different to the way she'd looked and felt last Thursday.

The coffee was disgusting but he drank it anyway, his mouth was dry and it gave him something to do while he waited for her, he had called her to tell her that her tea was ready but she hadn't appeared to drink it and it was now almost cold. The room was standard modern rental, without any character and with no personal stuff, no photos or anything on display and no outward signs of it being Christmas, just some Christmas cards dotted about and it wasn't spectacularly warm to someone who was used to open fires in the main living room. The overhead light was harsh, so he switched it off and turned the table lamp on instead. He was just contemplating making her a fresh cup of tea when she reappeared, looking very beautiful and very tiny in bare feet, accentuating the height difference between them. Dressed and wide awake with her hair in a messy top knot, she didn't comment on the lamp but turned the heating up and went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and poured herself some wine, it looked to him to be about half a bottle, into a huge wine glass, then waved the bottle vaguely in his direction as an invitation.

"No thanks, I'm driving my mum's car so I've got to be careful"

"Probably best, it ain't the best wine in the world"

She shrugged and went and sat on the chair that was furthest away from where he was sitting on the sofa, tucking her feet underneath her and sipping her wine, he had the feeling that she was using it as some sort of prop to give her something to do with her hands; her green eyes were huge in the soft light and were fixed on him in a way that made it very difficult for him to think straight. He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees and looked at her as she started to speak.

"Well, what was it you wanted to say?"

"You know I'm sorry don't you? I'm really sorry, Molly"

"What for, accusing me of being a slut or telling me lies?"

"I never said you were a slut"

"Okay, a slapper then" She looked at him as he muttered "no" and shook his head "Well what else would you call someone who's sleeping with one bloke and goes out for lunch and kisses another one?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what to think, and I was jealous"

"Yeah, and it's not the first time is it?"

"No it's not, but I've never lied to you, not once"

"Well you've been fucking economical with the truth haven't you? You've never mentioned your wife once, so has she just, you know, slipped your mind or something? And where the fuck does she think you are tonight?"

"Wife? What wife? I haven't got a wife" his face was shocked and totally puzzled "I've got an ex-wife, but we've been divorced for years now, so what does she have to do with anything?"

"Rebecca's your ex-wife? You're divorced?" Shit, Molly knew that this had the solid ring of truth, he wasn't lying, she'd got it all wrong but for once it wasn't her fault. Rebecca was definitely on his medical records as NoK and he hadn't mentioned being divorced when they'd covered their respective families during their marathon night of chat at Bastion, so what the hell was she supposed to think?

"Yup, how do you know her name and whatever made you think she was still my wife?"

"Cos it says she is on your medical records"

"Shit, does it? Well, she's not, not anymore, hasn't been for over three years, I'll have to get it changed. Why didn't you say something?"

"Why didn't _you_ say something when we was talking about our families, you know, when we was having a chat at Bastion?"

"I wish I bloody had now. I'm not exactly proud of it Molly, you know, what happened with Rebecca, I'd made a huge mess of things and I didn't know how important you were going to be to me then, did I?"

"Am I important to you then?"

"You bloody know you are. Was this ever since Afghan? Was that why you didn't e-mail me?"

"Yeah. What did you think?"

"I didn't know, at first I thought that I'd got it all wrong, that you saw me as just another patient, and then last week I thought it was because of Smurf. What is the deal with Smurf?"

"I dunno, he's been like this since we was at Bastion, keeps saying he loves me and I keep telling him that it ain't gonna happen, that even if he was the last bloke on the planet and he had a face and personality transplant, mates is all we're ever gonna be and if that ain't enough for him, then nothing is what we'll be. But I didn't know he was telling everyone that we was at it, I'm gonna have to sort him out"

"Do you want me to do it? I am his boss" He decided that it wasn't a good idea to tell her that Smurf was busy convincing anyone who'd listen that marriage was on the cards.

"No I bloody don't" She raised her eyebrows at him, adding "thanks" as an afterthought.

He got off the sofa and walked over and took the wine glass out of her hand and swigged a couple of mouthfuls, shuddered, then put the glass on the table and pulled her gently to her feet, keeping hold of her hands as she stood in front of him.

"God you're right, that's rough. What the hell is it?"

"I dunno, It's not mine, its Suzie's"

"Where is Suzie?"

"She's gone home for a few days for Christmas"

"Do you always help yourself to your flatmate's stuff when she's not here?" He started laughing.

"She won't mind" Molly lied "It was an emergency and I'll buy her some more" She giggled "I might try and find her some that doesn't taste like you'd use it to clean the drains though" As she said it, she was aware that she had been drinking it on an empty stomach, she hadn't eaten anything since a slice of toast at breakfast time, and that suddenly she couldn't seem to stop smiling and wanting to giggle. He started to run his hands gently up and down the outsides of her arms, leaving a trail of gooseflesh as he caught his teeth on his bottom lip and smiled into her eyes.

"So, all this time you thought I was some sort of creep who was trying to get into your knickers when I'd got a wife waiting at home"

"Well, yeah, sounds a bit awful when you put it like that," she started giggling then caught her bottom lip with her teeth "Yeah, I suppose that is what I thought, sort of. Sorry"

"Lovely"

Molly was now getting desperate for him to close the gap that was still between them and to kiss her. His hands were making her shiver, her butterflies were rampant and she couldn't wait for a repeat of the sensations that she'd experienced last week at the station, only this time she was pretty sure that there was a good chance of the promise being fulfilled, or at least she hoped so.

"Are you going to kiss me, or what?"

"Depends what the 'or what' is"

"You can get in your mum's car and drive home"

"I can't, I've been drinking"

"You've had two mouthfuls" She giggled "And you can always walk"

"I can't, it's too far to walk and I'm an invalid"

"The exercise will be good for you"

"Oi, stop being cruel, you're supposed to be a nurse, all kind and caring and anyway, it's cold out there and I think it's raining"

"Not in your mum's car it isn't"

He moved his hands down to her wrists and pulled her arms up round his neck, moving her closer to him until they were almost touching. This time he was the one to shiver as she entwined her fingers in the curls at the back of his neck.

"Will you please stop messing and kiss me"

"I like teasing you, I'm enjoying it"

"You won't in a minute"

His breath was warm on her cheek as he whispered "I'd better kiss you then, hadn't I?"

**Author's notes: Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. It will move on a bit in the next chapter as there is a fair way to go yet.**

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews, they make such a difference.**


	8. Chapter 8

The kiss, when it came, was as soft and gentle as the one they had shared at the station and her butterflies became the fizzing sensation of fireworks going off by the Thames on New Year's Eve. He lifted his head and cupped her face in his hands, then bent and began dropping tiny soft kisses all over her face and on the corners of her mouth until she was becoming desperate for him to kiss her properly. He finally moved to kiss her mouth; softly at first then with more and more urgency until they were clinging as closely as they could so that their bodies were touching everywhere possible and she put her arms round him and hooked her thumbs into the back waistband of his jeans pulling him hard against her.

When they were finally forced to stop and come up for air he released her hair from its topknot and began to run his fingers through it, tucking it behind her ears so she put one hand back into the soft curls on the back of his neck and pulled his head back down towards her and they started to kiss again with more and more passion. He put his hands under the soft loose sweater she was wearing and stroked the smooth skin on her back, then got hold of the bottom of the sweater and pulled it over her head, dropping it on the floor, leaving her wearing a scrap of white lace which quickly followed the sweater onto the floor.

"God, you're so beautiful, I have never wanted anything or anyone as much as I want you" He began kissing a trail from her neck down towards her breasts, and then stopped.

"Are you sure Suzie won't come barrelling in here any second?"

"Does the thought put you off?" Molly giggled.

"Nothing could put me off, but it might be a tad embarrassing"

"Shall we go to bed then?"

"I thought you'd never ask"

Her bed was all rumpled and unmade from her day's sleep and there was a damp bath towel on the end of it which Molly threw on the floor as she sort of straightened the duvet then turned and began to unbutton his shirt, her hands fumbling with the buttons in her haste, so that he took over and his shirt, socks and jeans joined the towel on the floor, leaving him in his boxers. She ran her hands over the muscles of his chest as he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her leggings.

"You've lost weight"

"How do you know?"

"I've seen you naked before, remember?"

"Was I out of it? I don't remember it at all"

"Away with the fairies mate"

"I remember that, being called mate I mean" He laughed.

"Does your scar hurt?" She ran her fingers over it lightly, barely touching him and making him shiver again "Mind you, there is another difference from when you was at my mercy at Bastion" She giggled and gestured towards the steeple at the front of his boxers.

"God, I should bloody hope so"

"Don't sound so shocked, it happens all the time" She giggled again "We have ways of dealing with it, it involves a pencil" She laughed as she looked at his appalled face "I'm sorry Charles, but you'll get used to it if you stick around, what nurses talk like I mean"

"Of course I'm going to stick around and I don't give a shit how you talk, as long as you're not tempted by any of them_, that_ I would mind" He thought for a minute "But I don't want to know what you do with the pencil, thanks"

"I weren't gonna tell you, it's a trade secret, and I've never been tempted"

"Does that include me? the not being tempted, I mean?"

"You're different"

"I'm bloody glad to hear it, now where were we? Oh yes, I remember"

The whole thing felt so absolutely right, he couldn't ever remember a time when anything had felt this right before, there was no need to say anything, just holding her this close and cuddling her underlined the fact that he was full of an incredible sense of calm joy and satisfaction, the passion, the teasing, the laughter, the intense pleasure he had felt when she had reached a shuddering climax and his own ecstasy when he had followed suit. There had been a moment when a cold reality had swept in, when he had been forced to say that they had to stop because he hadn't got anything with him, followed by the moment when she had told him that they didn't need anything, that she was on the pill. She had laughed and said that the milkman insisted so he'd said that he would leave a note of thanks out in the morning and they'd both laughed, and then they had stopped laughing and the passion had taken over again.

Much as he didn't want to, he couldn't help remembering the last time someone had told him that they were on the pill, and what had happened as a result. Sam. Then his subsequent disastrous marriage and eventual divorce from Rebecca, and he still hadn't told Molly about Sam.

"Moll, there's something I need to tell you"

"Oh God, now what?" She turned her head and dropped a light kiss on his chest where she was laying.

"I've got a son, his name's Sam and he's nearly seven. I wanted to tell you before, but the time never felt right, I mean, he doesn't live with me or anything, but he's always going to be part of my life"

"Wow" she thought for a moment "Do you miss him? Sorry, silly question, course you do"

"Yup, but it's been a long time since we were any sort of family. Look, Rebecca and I got married because of Sam and it was a big mistake, not him, I don't mean him but we didn't love each other enough to be married. She wanted me to give up the army and I was selfish and didn't want to stay at home with her, and we didn't care enough to work it out and stay together, but we both love Sam. I don't see much of him, well not as much as I'd like, but there's nothing I can do about that"

"Why not? I mean, you saw him for Christmas right? You said you hadn't had Christmas at home for years, so surely you saw him yesterday?"

"No, Rebecca's taken him skiing and you've been talking to my mother, haven't you?"

"So, what did you do yesterday?

"Sulked, I'm actually quite good at it, ask my mum"

"What, because of Sam?"

"No, not because of Sam, because of you and Smurf"

Molly leaned over and kissed his chest again.

"Dickhead, as if I'd pick Smurf over you"

"Are you taking the piss?"

"A bit, but I sort of mean it as well. Shouldn't you ring your mum and tell her where her car is, she might be worried about it"

"No need, I told her I might not be back tonight"

"Bit previous weren't you?"

"No, it's chemistry" he laughed and kissed the tip of her nose "And I knew that all I would need is a hell of a lot of luck, and if Lady Luck pissed off and you threw me out I was going to look for a Travelodge" he thought for a moment "Would you like to come home with me tomorrow, because I'll probably have to take her car back, I don't want her to report it stolen"

"She wouldn't do that would she?"

"No, of course not, but you've got a few days off haven't you and I want us to spend time together, so what do you think?"

"I was going to go home tomorrow, but I can always put it off"

"Don't do that" he smiled into her eyes and cupped her face with his hands then stroked his thumb over her lip "Can I come with you and meet your family?"

"No, it's a bloody good excuse to cancel"

Molly suddenly sat bolt upright and put her fingers to her lips in a 'shushing' gesture and held her head on one side, listening.

"Shit, its Suzie. What the fuck is she doing back? You stay here and I'll go and see her, our bloody stuff's all over the floor and I've drunk half her bleeding 'orrible wine so I need to go and talk to her"

Molly scrambled off the bed and threw on her dressing gown then sidled out of the door, putting her finger up to her lips gesturing that he should stay silent.

"What you doing back, I wasn't expecting you"

"Obviously" Suzie picked up Molly's bra and waved it at her before putting it on the sofa with the sweater which she'd already picked up "Had a bloody fight with my bloody mother didn't I? And don't bloody look at me like that; you're a fine one to talk aren't you?"

Molly shook her head "I didn't say a word"

"So" Suzie gestured at the clothing now folded on the sofa and the shoes by the door "you finally put him out of his misery did you, and is that my wine?"

"Yeah, sorry Suze I'll get you some more" Molly smiled at her flatmate "Not that though, it's bloody 'orrible"

"Cheap though, and you haven't answered my question, it is Smurf isn't it"

"Yeah it tastes cheap" Molly shook her head and bit her bottom lip as she looked at Suzie.

"Who is it then, anyone I know? Oh no, please don't tell me it's who I think it is" Molly knew it had been a mistake to tell her about her chance meeting with Charles in the cafeteria at work, Suzie had worried at it ever since.

Molly shrugged "You've got him all wrong Suz, he's not what you think, for a kick-off he's not married, he's divorced"

"Well, he would say that wouldn't he? How do you know he's not lying?"

"I just know, and what's he done to you anyway?"

"Nothing and I can see that it's not going to make a scrap of difference what I say, but you know what I think"

"You're wrong about him, Suz, and you're talking complete bollocks, he ain't gonna hurt me, and you know what, you sound like you're jealous"

Molly slammed back into the bedroom, absolutely furious with her friend; she really had no idea what Suzie had against officers in general and Charles in particular. She was still muttering to herself when she got back into bed and curled up against him, putting her cold feet on his feet. He knew she was very close to crying as he pulled her into his arms.

"I s'pose you heard all that did you?"

"Yup. Do you want me to go?

"No, course not, this is my bloody flat as much as hers, and she's not my bleeding mother for fuck's sake"

"She really doesn't like me much though, does she? I wonder what I've done to piss her off like that"

"I ain't gotta a scoobie, but you'd better not mess me about, I'll never hear the bleeding end of it"

"I'm never going to mess you about as you put it, and it's not to keep Suzie off your back either, I'm never going to hurt you because, well, I love you"

"Do you?" She looked up at him, green eyes swimming in tears "But you don't really know me"

"Yes I do, I know you're beautiful, and sexy, and kind, and gentle, and funny, and beautiful" he was starting to laugh as she shook her head at him "and clever and you make me laugh, and did I say beautiful?

"You've already said that twice" she giggled

"Sorry if I'm boring you, and you've also got bloody cold feet which I'm going warm up, come here"

Then, after a couple of minutes, "Oi, they're not my feet!"

**Author's notes: Thank you for your ongoing support for this story, it means the world to me. Sorry for the lack of explicit smut, I think I've said before on these pages that I love reading it but can't write it, when I try I cringe when I read it back and have to delete it.**

**The use of a pencil to deal with "unwanted reactions" was told to me by a mate who's an ITU nurse, I don't know whether it's true or not, she swore it was, but she was laughing like a drain when she told me and we had partaken of some strong drink at the time. **


	9. Chapter 9

It was very early when he woke and for a moment couldn't think where he was, then felt Molly stir slightly and he moved closer to her and felt the same sweep of calm satisfaction and happiness that he had felt the night before, until Suzie had come home and the atmosphere had changed dramatically. As he lay and listened to the patter of rain against the dark window he was wracking his brains trying to think of some reason for her hostility and couldn't think of a single one. Apart from a couple of enforced stays in hospital beds, when she'd been part of the team looking after him, he was sure they'd never met before, but it was obvious that the sooner he removed himself from her space, the happier everyone would be.

He was in a situation he definitely wasn't used to; he was used to being welcome or at least politely tolerated and he wasn't sure he knew how to act around someone who so actively disliked him, especially as he was in their home and not his or some neutral zone and he had no idea how to plan his next step. The ability to plan, to organise and to develop strategies was part of his DNA, years of being in the army had seen to that, but it all felt useless at the moment. He wanted to be with Molly, but he couldn't hang around here, it would make things too uncomfortable and she didn't want to take him to see her family and he felt guilty about that and she hadn't yet said she would go to Bath, she hadn't said she wouldn't go, but she hadn't said yes either. For the first time in years, he bitterly regretted not having his own home, Rebecca had got their marital home in the divorce settlement and he had been happy enough to stay at his parents' house when he wasn't deployed, but suddenly he longed for the privacy of his own space.

He felt her stir and stretch and he leaned over and kissed her sleepy face as she opened her eyes then beamed at him.

"Morning gorgeous"

"Morning, did you sleep okay?"

"As much as I could with someone who snores like you do"

"I do not snore" Molly pretended to be outraged.

"Must have been me then" He desperately wanted to make love to her again but had this horrible vision of Suzie listening to them and whatever he'd said to Molly the previous evening it definitely put him off.

"Have you made up your mind what you want to do yet?"

"Not really, I know I should go and give the kids their presents, I promised and they'll be looking for them, but I don't want to"

"Let me come with you, we won't stay long if you don't want to and I'll behave myself, I won't show you up, you know, I won't pick my nose or anything, I promise" he smiled at her "and then we can go and see my mum and dad, they're used to me picking my nose"

"Twat" Molly had started laughing at him in spite of herself.

"I'll take that as a compliment, shall I?" He put his arms round her "Well?

He was nervous having a shower, the flat had only got one bathroom and he was terrified Suzie would need to use the loo while he was in there, adding to his sins, whatever they were, and he lied about needing to go out and buy a toothbrush and clean underwear while Molly was in the shower, he had everything he needed in his 'survival' kit in the car, but he wanted to avoid the possibility of being alone with Suzie at all costs.

It was still raining and there was a bitterly cold wind blowing, which made her eyes water and her nose run on the short walk from the entrance to the flats to the car.

"Where's your hat?"

"Ain't got one, I don't like wearing them they make me head all sort of sweaty and itchy"

"I'm going to buy you one and make you wear it, wearing a hat stops the rest of you getting so cold"

"Where's yours then?"

"At home, smartarse" he laughed "And we're not talking about me, we're talking about you"

"Yes Dad, whatever you say Dad"

"Stop laughing at me, it's only because I care"

"I know you do, and I'm not laughing at you, well, not really" She smiled at him and changed the subject "What's the time?"

"Almost ten thirty, why? Are you worried we'll be late?"

"No, I was worried we'd be there before the pubs open, how long will it take from here" she looked out of the window; she had no idea where they were.

"I don't know, probably about half an hour or so, it depends if the satnav gets me lost or not, why do you need the pubs to be open?"

"I need me dad to have pissed off when I get there and no, don't ask, okay?"

"Okay" he could see how tense she was getting by the way she was picking at her fingernails and biting the inside of the corner of her bottom lip. "How was the pantomime, were you all bloody brilliant?"

"The cock ups were better than the way we rehearsed it, the audience thought so anyway, and so did we to be fair" She began to recount the highlights of their somewhat dodgy production so that they were both in stitches of laughter, her from her memories and him from her infectious enjoyment in the re-telling "There was only one thing wrong with it, you wasn't there and I missed you"

"Did you? I thought you didn't want me there because of Smurf"

"Well, you was wrong, weren't you and don't start. No, I was worried about you bringing your wife with you"

"Well, we were both wrong then weren't we?"

The rain had actually stopped when they arrived but everything looked grey and bleak and wet and the wind was blowing all the litter about on the pavements as Charles looked out of the car window and thought how uninviting it looked. Molly had got progressively quieter over the last ten minutes or so and was now communicating in monosyllables and grunts. It occurred to Charles that she had been right the previous evening when she'd said that he didn't know her, he didn't. He felt an intense physical attraction to her and he wanted to wave a magic wand and fix everything in her world that wasn't perfect, but there were so many things about her he didn't know, things that made her who she was, things that made her tick.

"Ready?" They had got out of the car into the biting cold wind and he had put his hand on the back of her neck, sliding it under her sheet of long hair, which was blowing about in the wind, as they prepared to climb the stone steps to the first floor maisonette which was her family home.

"As I'll ever bloody be. Hold your breath" She sounded bitter as she took a deep breath as if preparing herself for an ordeal and they climbed the stairs which smelt unpleasantly of stale urine and cabbage water, Molly holding a large carrier bag filled with brightly wrapped gifts.

"Hello Molls" Her mother was small and slightly overweight, and to Charles' eye, surprisingly young, she couldn't be more than late thirties at the most and was probably not much older than him, which drew his attention sharply to the age difference between him and Molly. She was fair, although her hair may not have been naturally that colour and she looked pale, tired and very, very anxious.

"Hello Mum" Molly leaned forward and placed a peck on her mother's cheek "This is a friend of mine from work, Charles. Charles, this is me mum"

"Mrs Dawes" Charles smiled and went to put his hand out to shake her hand but she had turned back to Molly and asked "How are you?"

There was a really strange strained atmosphere between Molly and her mum as she shrugged and said "Fine thanks" as though she was answering a casual enquiry from a stranger. "Where are the kids? I've got their presents here"

"Upstairs" her mum went to the foot of the stairs and shouted "Kids, Molls' is 'ere"

There was an instant stampede of what sounded like hundreds of feet thundering down the stairs and Charles watched her face light up as a crowd of children, ranging from very small to teenagers, engulfed her in hugs, the eldest, a teenage girl, immediately burst into tears as she flung her arms round her sister and kissed her. It was obvious that whatever the problem was that made her so reluctant to visit here, it didn't involve her brothers and sisters, they seemed to love her as much as she loved them. She handed out packages to them and there was a chorus of excited yells of appreciation from all of them. Charles was a bit surprised that it was a one way thing and that there was no reciprocal exchange of gifts.

"About time too young lady, and who's this you've bought wiv you?" The speaker was a slim older lady who had appeared in the doorway and who bore a marked resemblance to Molly's mother.

"Hello Nan" Molly's face was wreathed in smiles as she turned and almost ran to hug her grandmother, obviously thrilled to see her "This is Charles, he's a mate of mine, he's in the army too. Charles, this is me Nan"

"Hello, Molly's Nan, it's nice to meet you" Charles put his hand out and this time it was shaken by a very firm hand.

"Nan'll do young man, so how do you two know each other? Do you work together?"

"Hardly Nan, he's an officer, couldn't you tell? He's all posh and in charge and that, and I'm not, I clean up when people puke"

"Oi"

"Sorry, didn't mean you" Molly smiled and kissed his cheek, so he put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed leaving it there as she began to speak again "I've known him since we was in Afghan, Nan, I looked after him for a bit"

"Brilliantly" They exchanged a glance that told Nan all she wanted to know about him.

"You two gonna have a cuppa or something to eat?"

"No thanks, we're not stopping; we only came to give the kids their presents"

"You've only just got here" She paused and shook her head "You need to sort this out Moll; you can't go on like this forever"

"Don't tell me, tell me dad" she paused and looked at her mother who was standing watching and looked so unhappy that Charles felt a bit sorry for her. "See you Mum, bye Nan, kids, come on, Charles, let's go" She kissed her grandmother and waved her hand in the general direction of her mother as they left and Charles could see that her sister was in tears again.

"You weren't kidding when you said you didn't want to stay long, were you?" They were back in the car after what felt like a blink of an eye and Molly was pale and expressionless, and wasn't meeting his eyes. "What was all that about, you going to tell me?"

"Nah" She shrugged, then started to tell him anyway "I've had a bit of a fight with me dad and he said that I might gonna have to do without me family if I didn't do what he wanted, so here we are"

"What, even your mum?"

"Yeah, she wouldn't stand up to him and it weren't the first time neither, it's happened before but I couldn't let him win, not about this. This time he wanted me deployment money from Afghan, I mean, I know they could do with it and that and I would have given some to me mum, but he would have poured it down everyone's throats in the pub and if I'd given it to me mum, she would've handed it straight over to him and there you go. Now can we talk about something else?"

"If you want to but are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Hello Mum, I'm just leaving so I'll have your car home in about, I don't know, two or three hours, okay?" He listened for a second.

"No, course I haven't wrecked it. Listen, I'm going to bring someone home with me, to stay for a few days" He looked at Molly and smiled as he listened to his mother.

"Yes, it's a girl, and of course she's a friend, her name's Molly and she doesn't need anything, okay. We'll see you later"

They had been driving down the A303 for some time in complete silence when he realised that there were tears streaming down her face which was turned away from him as she looked out of the side window and his heart bled for her as he pulled into the next layby and killed the engine.

"Come here" He undid his seat belt and gestured for her to do the same, then pulled her into his arms. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that his reservations of that morning hadn't been worth a moment's consideration, he might not know her inside out yet, but he wanted nothing more than to make her happy.

**Author's notes: Thank you for continuing to follow this story. **

**Sorry I couldn't upload yesterday, our bl**dy broadband was down so we had no internet and no tele either. What the hell did we do before technology took over? Don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question.**


	10. Chapter 10

"What, just your mum and dad live 'ere?"

"Yup, well and me of course"

"What's your name, Prince Charles or something, do I need to curtsey?"

"Don't be daft"

"It's a bit bleeding different to mine though, innit?"

Molly and Charles were standing outside the house in Royal Crescent and Molly was looking up at the facade with an incredulous expression on her face, she looked around her.

"And all these houses just have like one family living in them; I mean they're not flats or nothing?"

"No, some of them are apartments, but not all. I think they were altered a long while back because they're listed now, which means you're not allowed to change them, it's against the law, so yes, lots of them have just one family living in them"

"Bloody hell"

The wind felt even colder here than in east London and although it wasn't raining there was a raw dampness in the air and the short walk from where they'd parked round to the front of the house had left Charles in a considerable amount of pain, a dull ache from his stomach wound but more especially a persistent throbbing pain in his leg, so that he couldn't wait to get into the warm and to sit down.

He saw Molly glance at him anxiously as he limped up to the door, "Is that 'urting?" She nodded at his leg.

"Yeah, a bit"

"They give you any pain killers?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to take them, it'll go off in a minute when I get in the warm"

"You really are a dickhead, aren't you? You're s'posed to take them before the pain gets bad, otherwise you'll have to take twice as many after to stop it"

"Sorry nurse"

"Bleeding think so"

Molly looked around at the hallway and stairs of the house and began to laugh; this was so far outside her experience that she was lost for words.

"What's so fucking hilarious?"

"I was thinking of the stairs up to our gaffe, you know, the ones that stink of piss and gawd knows what"

"Please don't remind me" he shuddered and took her hand "Come on, let's go and find my mum and dad"

The lounge, or drawing room as Charles called it, was another entirely new experience for Molly. For a start it looked as if it was bigger that her entire flat at Epsom and had a huge marble fireplace with a roaring log fire, something she had only ever seen in period dramas on television. She tried not to stare with her mouth open. There were large squashy sofas and small tables with lamps on them, one of which was lit so that the slim dark haired woman sitting near it could see to read.

"Mum"

The woman looked up and began to get up, putting her glasses down on the sofa next to her book, and gave him a big beaming smile, Molly could immediately see the family likeness, she was obviously pleased to see him.

"Is my car in one piece?"

"Of course it is. Mum, this is Molly the friend I was telling you about, Molly this is my mother, Elizabeth James"

He stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders.

"Hello Mrs James"

"You're very welcome Molly dear, and please call me Beth, now, let's go and make some tea"

"Where's dad?"

"Gone to Waitrose to get some bread. He's got a list, so goodness knows what we'll end up with" Beth laughed as Charles explained to Molly that his father liked to try alternatives to some of the items on the shopping list and often came home with a bizarre mixture of ingredients which his mum had to use to concoct an evening meal that was at least edible. Molly laughed politely, and thought about how her dad had probably never been food shopping in his life, had most likely never set foot in Waitrose let alone gone in there with a list, he couldn't be trusted with the money for a start. Every minute she had spent in this house so far had underlined her feeling that these people lived in a different world.

"So, how did you two meet" Beth was busy making tea and shaking biscuits onto a plate, Molly watched and noted that they obviously didn't eat them out of the packet in this house, as Beth turned her head to look over her shoulder at her son.

"She saved my life" Charles grinned at Molly.

"I did not, don't exaggerate, I got you a couple of aspirins for your 'eadache" Molly was embarrassed.

"And she looked after me when I threw up all over her"

"Charles, you didn't" Beth sounded scandalised.

"Molly's a nurse, Mum; she looked after me when I had concussion"

"Oh I see, and you've been friends ever since?"

"Yes" and "No" Charles and Molly both spoke at exactly the same time and laughed at the same time.

"We lost touch for a while but met up again just before Christmas, Molly works at Headley"

His mother was busy matching dates to moods for her son and adding two and two and making five when his dad came back from his shopping expedition, minus most of the essentials she had asked for. He had bought some liqueur cherries that were her favourites and were on sale and had forgotten the bread. He trotted out his usual excuse that they had sold out.

Og..og,,og..og..og..og

"Is he back?"

"Yes, her name's Molly and they've gone upstairs, and before you ask, I've got no idea. She's a lovely looking girl and they seem very close, but he says she's a friend. Mind you, she's sharing his room" She thought for a minute "maybe she's, what do they call it these days, a friend with benefits"

"What's that when it's at home?"

"What we used to call a casual fling" Beth laughed "She's a nurse apparently, works at Headley Court now but they met in the hospital in Afghanistan"

"What, when he got shot?"

"No, when he had concussion, so they've known each other a fair while and he's in a much better mood than he was over Christmas"

"Ask her to stay forever then"

Og..og..og..og..og..og..og

Molly was lying on Charles' bed looking around her as she waited for him to come out of his bathroom.

"Are you okay in there?"

"Yes, I can't find the bloody things"

"Keep looking dickhead, you should know where they are, just in case you need them, like now"

"God, you're bossy"

"I know, I'm a nurse and we're all bossy "she giggled "We get taught it, it's called "nanny knows best, so do as you're bleeding told"

She smiled at him as he came in and made a production of swallowing a tablet, then stretched out next to her. He lifted her head up and put his arm under it pulling her into his side so that her head was tucked under his chin.

"Are you warm enough or shall we get into bed?"

"What, in all our clothes?"

"That's not quite what I had in mind"

"You've got a one track mind" He started to undo her buttons.

"I'm making up for lost time"

"Charles, this don't feel right, what with your mum and dad downstairs in the kitchen, they'll guess what we're up to"

"They won't mind, they won't think anything and we are not a couple of kids" he laughed.

"What, you do this a lot, do you?"

"No, I don't"

Afterwards, Molly lay and looked at the ceiling listening to Charles breathe deeply as he slept holding onto her and she turned and stroked his hair back from his forehead. Twenty four hours ago he had been a guilty temptation, a sort of gorgeous sexy daydream. She had fancied the pants off him since they had met up again at Headley, especially when he'd taken her out for lunch, not to mention when they had first met at Bastion, but she had been convinced that he was married and out of bounds, a fantasy figure who gave her butterflies and was way out of her league. Then, in the last day, things had spiralled completely out of her control. They'd had a fight about Smurf, then he'd been talking about loving her, she'd fallen out with her best friend and flatmate over him, she'd taken him to east Ham and told him about her miserable worm of a dad, something she never normally talked about to anyone, and here she was having sex with him in his bedroom with his mum and dad downstairs cooking the tea. And he'd described her to his mum as his friend. FRIEND? She knew she had described him to her lot as a friend, but she hadn't intended sleeping with him at her house, this was different. He could have at least have called her his girlfriend. She wanted to scream_ stop_, this was all going way too fast.

There wasn't any problem with the sex, it was brilliant, she had never felt this way before with anyone and she could definitely get used to making love to him. She wasn't used to having sex with someone who cared that much about her, she was much more used to a succession of jerks who'd had the idea that making love consisted of 'wham, bang, thanks a lot, now piss off' and none of them had ever cared whether she'd enjoyed it or not, they probably wouldn't have known, but that was way back in her past, she had been celibate now since Afghan, until yesterday that is. It wasn't the sex, it was this feeling that she was with someone who was suddenly very important in her life, far too important for someone she'd only been with for one day, and whom she didn't even really know. They'd had some conversations, not that many, spent some time together, not that much and slept together, but in actual fact they hardly knew anything about each other and Molly was panicking.

Against all her expectations, dinner was fun. She had been dreading it, what with panicking that Charles was expecting too much from her, that she was in the wrong place with the wrong bloke, that his parents would look down their noses at her, thinking she was some kind of slapper for coming down here and immediately vanishing up to his bedroom and that they were all far too posh for her. Charles' dad Martin was a bit bonkers, called himself an eccentric and set out to entertain them, especially her, and all of them spent a great deal of time laughing to the point where Molly's ribs ached. They all drank a little bit too much wine, which wasn't at all like the wine she had stolen from Suzie, and Molly worried for a minute about the painkiller Charles had taken, she had forgotten to check what it was and whether he should drink with it, then tried to dismiss her worry as not her responsibility, he was an adult after all. Beth put a box of chocolate cherry liqueurs on the table and said that it was instead of the bread that Martin was supposed to have bought, and Charles shook his head and grinned as his dad said that they tasted better than bread and that bread was boring and anyway Waitrose had run out.

The more time she spent with them, the more she realised that this was a different Charles again. She was more or less used to his public school aura of smooth self-confidence, at least she was pretty sure it came from a privileged school background, and his army persona of being a bit superior, 'in charge', but here he had been totally relaxed and had looked completely happy. He had spent a great deal of the evening laughing and taking the piss out of his dad.

She did wonder whether Martin might have something a bit wrong with him, but when they got to Charles' room and were getting ready for bed, he seemed to read her mind and immediately started explaining that during a normal week his dad was a pin-striped, sober, straight faced, senior civil servant in Whitehall but he was also a closet wind up merchant, who, during recent years, had spent his evenings and weekends and holidays like today playing silly buggers. He said that it sometimes drove his mum nuts because he didn't always know how far to go or when to stop, but on the whole Charles wished that his dad had been like that when he was a kid, Sam adored him.

He made her giggle when he said "I want to be just like him when I grow up"

They made love and this time there wasn't anything slow and gentle about it, it was fast and furious and she found it incredibly exciting so that she came very quickly and then watched his face as his breathing got more and more ragged until he was almost holding his breath and he squeezed his eyes shut and called her name as the first intense spasms of his orgasm swept through him. It took a while for their heart rates and breathing to return to approaching normal and as well as being totally satisfied Molly felt an incredible affection for him and was just sloshed enough to take him to task for describing her as his 'friend', said it made her sound like someone he met up with occasionally to go to the pub for a pint, or round the back of the pub for a quickie. He stroked her hair off her face and said he was mortified and would put things right at breakfast time, tell them that she was the most important thing in his life, so she slapped him and told him that she was serious and that there was no need to take the piss.

"I'm not taking the piss; I meant every word I said"

Og..og..og..og..og..og

**Author's notes: I wanted to show that Molly is actually strong and independent and is definitely not 'Cinderella' being swept completely off her feet by Prince Charming, so she may well have felt that everything was moving a bit too fast. I also wanted to portray the James family a bit differently to the norm; I hope it doesn't upset anybody.**

**Thanks for your lovely reviews; I am glad that so many of you are still enjoying this, I am loving writing it. Please keep letting me know how you feel.**


	11. Chapter 11

A trip to Weston-Super-Mare on the train with Charles moaning every inch of the way back saying that he should have borrowed his mum's car again and then they could have driven back when they wanted to, not have to wait ages for a train on a freezing cold windy platform, had actually been a lot of fun. A walk hand in hand along the 'promenade' with the sea a distant smudge on the horizon and a bitterly cold wind whipping her hair around had filled Molly with a sense of well being and happiness until she realised that the cold and exercise was making Charles' leg hurt, so they found a pub that did bar snacks and sat in the warm to have something to eat. It actually wasn't that easy to find somewhere, because, as Charles said 'Weston was bloody shut'. He'd bought her a beanie hat which he insisted on pulling over her head and right down over her ears so that Molly complained that it made her look like a boiled egg. Charles had laughed and kissed her nose then told her that she looked beautiful and at least she'd be a warm boiled egg.

He had been as good as his word and told his parents that they were a couple. Beth had laughed and said that they had kind of guessed that and Molly had felt herself get hot and had felt the blush creeping up her neck as she looked at Charles with an appalled expression on her face. She'd immediately assumed that they had heard what had been going on in the bedroom the previous night but Charles put his arms round her and buried her face in his chest, laughing as he whispered "no, she doesn't mean it that way", but Molly still hadn't been completely sure, it had taken a couple of days for her to believe him and trust that he was right.

She had gone food shopping with Martin and had done a lot of giggling as they walked around Waitrose, him putting things in the trolley and her checking Beth's list and putting the daftest choices back on the shelf while collecting the essentials. He kept saying things like, "We've never tried this, let's get some" and "I wonder what that's like, let's try it", so that in the end Molly had said okay, but let's get what Beth needs as well. Martin had nudged her and called her a spoilsport and for a moment she'd thought he'd meant it, but he'd winked and grinned at her at the same time, making him look very like Charles. Beth had thanked her, saying that she appreciated having the right ingredients for the meal for a change so Molly had asked Charles why his mother didn't go shopping herself or get an on-line delivery. Charles said she did both, but this was a sort of little game they played when they ran out of stuff when his dad was at home and she wouldn't spoil his fun. Molly was still a bit confused and thought how her mum would throttle her dad if he wasted money on chocolates when they needed bread, although he wouldn't buy chocolates, he was more likely to buy cheap lager.

They had made love repeatedly, and as they got to know more and more about each other and how their bodies responded, they found it harder and harder to keep their hands off each. Molly had eventually stopped worrying that Beth and Martin could hear them, Charles had pointed out that his mum and dad slept at the other side of the house and two floors below, and that this was an old house with thick walls, so had good sound insulation. She had asked how many bedrooms the house had and he had laughed and said six, not including his, a conversion of the whole of the top floor which had been the servants quarters once, and she'd wanted to know why on earth anyone would need six bedrooms and he'd laughed and said maybe because they wanted to have loads of kids. She had laughed as well and said just like my parents then, except they ain't got the time, the space or the money to look after six kids, and Charles had hugged her, seeing the smile vanish off her face.

og…og…og…og…og…og

"I'm really going to miss you, are you sure you have to go back to work tonight?"

"Yeah I do have to"

"They might not miss you"

"What you saying? That no-one would notice if I wasn't there?" She laughed "Thanks for that"

"You know I didn't mean that, it's just that I don't want us to be in separate places and you know I can't stay here"

"I know. You go to the New Year bash at Pirbright, and be careful and take it easy and have a good time, not too good though, and I'll speak to you tomorrow morning when I get home"

"Yes Mum"

"Cheeky sod. Happy New Year" she felt an insane urge to cry, she really wanted to spend New Year's Eve with him and not at work.

"Happy New Year, although actually I think I'll give Pirbright a miss and push off home, I don't want to go to the party without you"

"We couldn't go together even if I weren't working"

"Why ever not?"

"Cos I need to sort Smurf out first and it's only fair that I tell him about us, not just pitch up with you so that the lads will see what a wanker he's been"

"He doesn't deserve you"

"What, and you do?"

"No, I'm just the one with Lady Luck on his side"

og…og…og…og…og…og

She took a deep breath and put her key in the lock, she still had to face Suzie and pour oil on those troubled waters, they hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms. It had been difficult to say goodbye to Charles knowing that it was going to be at least a week before she saw him again, so they had sat outside in his mum's car for ages, necking like teenagers. Charles had said he wouldn't come in until she had made up her fight with Suzie, saying that his presence would only make things tenser between them.

Suzie was in the lounge talking on her phone when Molly put her head round the door and made the hand symbol for offering a cup of tea which Suzie nodded at and smiled, which was a huge relief to Molly. It would seem that this particular war was over or at least on a cease-fire and she decided not to pursue it for the moment, even though she knew she was going to have to eventually, she was just too curious to let it drop completely. She wanted to know what Suzie's problem was with Charles. She put Suzie's tea down carefully on the floor next to where she was curled up on the sofa still talking on her phone and wandered off to her room to drink her tea. She'd forgotten what a state she'd left it in the morning she and Charles had gone to east Ham and it all looked rather sleazy; damp towels left on the chair, discarded knickers and leggings on the floor and a creased unmade bed, with a pillow on the floor next to it and two cups with dregs in the bottom on the bedside tables made it look rather depressing. As she tidied and changed the bed, she sniffed the pillow case to see whether it smelled of him which it didn't, and she started to think about what a difference a few days had made in the way she felt and then to wonder what the hell was going to happen next and where they were going to go from here.

He kept telling her that he loved her and she was sure he meant it when he said it, but she still wasn't so sure that this was a relationship that was going anywhere. The sex was magic, she was as keen as he was and couldn't get enough of the incredible way he made her feel when he made love to her, but everyone had always told her that sex isn't everything and she wasn't entirely sure what else they had in common. They laughed at the same things and were comfortable in each other's company, and when she was with him she had no doubts about anything, but the minute she was on her own she began to analyse what was happening and all the insecurities started. They had no real common ground, just looking at how different their homes and families were showed her that, except for bed and the army and Afghanistan, but even there their experiences were widely different. He was an officer, a bloody Rupert, used to being in charge and ordering people around and being saluted and obeyed and she took pulses and temperatures, checked blood pressures and dealt with blood and puke and she wasn't even a 'proper nurse', well, not at the moment anyway. She adored his parents, especially his dad, but just because she wished with all her heart that his dad belonged to her, it wasn't enough to build a future on, especially as they lived miles apart which was going to make it difficult for them to spend much time together.

It was Suzie's turn to put her head round the door, only in her case it was her arm waving a white towel, so that Molly laughed and told her to come in.

"You gonna tell me what all that was about, you daft cow?"

"No. Are you still with him?"

"Can't see him, can you?" Molly pretended to scan her room and looked under the bed.

"Very funny, you know what I mean"

"Yeah, I mean he's gone home and I'm going to work, but apart from that, I guess you could say we're together. You gonna tell me what it was all about then?"

"No, just leave it Molly"

"That's a bit difficult, Suz, I mean he lives in bloody Bath and that's bleeding miles away and I live 'ere with you and he won't come in 'ere if you've a cob on about him, so it makes it bleeding awkward, so you need to tell me what's wrong"

"I don't trust them, you now that, and we thought he was married, and you were right I was probably a bit jealous, because I'm on my own and I'd had a bust up with my mum, so it wasn't the best time. I'll say sorry next time I see him"

"What, and that's it?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I don't want him to move in, though, this flat's too small for three"

"He's not moving in, he probably won't even stay over" she hoped she was bending the truth slightly "It's just that I don't wanna entertain the neighbours again with the floor show when we say goodbye"

Suzie knew that she hadn't told as many lies for as long as she could remember. She was just glad that Molly wasn't actually looking straight at her because she would have probably been able to see straight through what she was saying. This had nothing to do with not trusting officers or thinking he was married or because she was on her own or she'd had a row with her mother, the only truth in her statement had been that she was jealous, but not of Molly, of Charles and she would die rather than let Molly know how she felt.

She didn't care about Molly's friendship with Smurf, she knew he was never going to be significant in her life, but Charles James was different, he was a threat and she didn't want anything to change. She didn't fancy her, she wasn't gay any more than Molly was, but she cared enormously about her flatmate, had done ever since they'd met in Afghan. She'd always been lonely and had found it difficult to make friends, even in barracks, so she'd jumped at Molly's suggestion that they should ask to live out together when they had both been posted to Headley. Suzie had grown up feeling that she wasn't good enough, at school she was mousy fair, desperately shy, very tall and overweight and had been bullied mercilessly. She'd also had a difficult relationship with her mother, who was extremely good at pointing out her shortcomings, two things that had forged a bond between her and Molly when they'd compared "horror stories from my crappy past" on a bored shitless, very slack night duty in Afghan. She was no longer fat, the army had seen to that and was a bright blonde, courtesy of Clairol, and didn't spend much time at home any more, but inside she was still the fat, mousy girl with no friends and she was terrified of losing Molly .

She'd never had any sort of meaningful relationship with a man, she had met hoardes in the army and had even fancied some of them, but she didn't know how to act round men, unless they were patients when she was fine, and Charles James was so good-looking and confident that he made her self-conscious and uncomfortable and she didn't want him around. The problem now was that if she got her way and he vanished, Molly would probably vanish with him and Suzie didn't want that, so she was going to have to bite her tongue and put up with it in the hope that their long-distance relationship just drifted away and died a natural death, there was nothing else she could do.

og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: I am sorry to those who were expecting some dramatic scenario from Suzie's past, maybe even involving Charles, but in fact it's very often a problem when close friends share a flat and are 'partners in crime' and one of them gets involved in a heavy relationship leaving the other behind. **

**As you can see this story still has a way to go, so I hope that everyone is still happy to go along with it with me. Thanks for your lovely comments and support, reviews make my day, so thanks.**

**We had more problems with our p*xy broadband and tele last night, I am so impressed with Mr Branson's company, not, which was pretty frustrating as I had to wait until this morning to read your feedback. I am glad that lots of you like Mr James Snr, his shopping habits are based on my own DH who often comes home and tells me that Tesco (not posh enough for Waitrose) are out of stock of basics. What he means is that he couldn't find them, he looks with his elbows, and is genetically incapable of asking!**


	12. Chapter 12

"What the fuck are you doing sitting there?"

"I came to see you"

"Yeah, obviously, but what the fuck for, I weren't expecting you was I?"

Molly had just got back from a long and very gruelling night shift and had walked home in driving rain so that she was chilled to the bone and worn out and very, very sad. One of the patients who had been discharged home not long after she'd started on the ward had been killed in an accident over the weekend which had devastated them all, he had been one of the most cheerful and funny patients she'd ever come across with a wicked sense of humour and he had overcome massive odds to get his life back and now this. There had been a huge black cloud over the staff this morning and they had all had to put on brave faces for the patients and Molly desperately wanted to talk to Charles, only to find that the battery was dead on her phone. She'd forgotten all about charging it yesterday, so just when she needed him most, she hadn't been able to call him and talk to him on the way home as she normally did, and now, when she could almost see a nice warm bath, a hot cuppa and a battery charger in front of her, Smurf was waiting, sitting on the floor outside her front door.

"Why didn't you ask Suzie to let you in, Muppet?"

"I don't know if she's in, I was waiting for you to come home, I didn't want to see her, only you"

"How did you know I was on nights?"

"Someone told me"

Molly felt a horrible sense of foreboding as her stomach sank towards her knees at his words, there was only one person that could be and he'd promised not to say anything to Smurf until she'd had the chance to sort things out. What the fuck had he done? She knew she'd been putting it off; it was almost six weeks since she'd extracted that promise from him, six weeks where she'd spent every bit of her time off with him. She hadn't wanted to use any of her precious days off to go and talk to Smurf, she'd still intended to make time to go and see him but she couldn't see any rush, it wasn't as though she owed him anything, he was just a mate. On the other hand she didn't want him to be humiliated in front of the lads, who, she was sure, would never let him hear the end of it if they found out he'd been lying to them about his relationship with her.

Charles hadn't stayed over at Epsom, she'd got a train to Bath every time she'd had nights off, dozing on the train and hoping she wouldn't wake up at Temple Meads instead of Bath Spa. He'd always met her at the station and each time she'd arrived it had felt like she was getting home, not only when he hugged her, but also when she got to Royal Crescent, his family now felt more like her family than her own did. She'd had no contact with her own family since she'd gone there the day after Boxing Day with Charles, no-one had rung to wish her a Happy New Year, mind you, she hadn't rung them either and no-one had rung to ask her about him or what was happening in her life. It was as if everyone had accepted that she was no longer a member of the Dawes family.

"Who told you that?"

"Oh, I think you know, don't you?"

Molly kept her back to him while she messed around making tea and putting her mobile on charge, it appeared that she had three missed calls, and one text, all from him and he was getting more and more anxious with each call. The text just said, "Call me", so she knew that what Smurf has just said was true. She needed to talk to him, to find out what he'd said and why, but she could hardly tell Smurf to piss off while she rang Charles to ask him what had happened and she couldn't talk in front of Smurf, so basically she was stuffed.

"What did he tell you?" She couldn't see any point in pretending she didn't know who he was talking about, who had told him, and although she had no idea what she was going to say she was going to be honest with him, tell him the truth, she didn't want to hurt him but she was too tired and upset to play games.

"You and the Boss man? How could you do that to me, Molls?"

"Do what? I haven't done anything to you, Smurf"

"Yes you have, you know that I love you and you love me, you know you do, so how could you sleep with him?"

"ang on, 'ang on, what you talking about? We're just mates, you and I, we've never been anything else and you know that I don't love you, well not like that anyway, and I don't think you love me, not really, and who said I was sleeping with him, did he say that?"

"He didn't have to, did he? It's obvious"

"Smurf, I don't wanna be cruel, but it's none of your bleeding business who I go out with, or who I sleep with for that matter, and he didn't just come up and tell you, did he? What happened exactly?

"I was telling the lads about my plans for Valentines, how we were going out for a slap up meal and then how I was going to ask you to think about us getting married, not for a year or two maybe, I'll need to save up a bit first, but my mum has given me her engagement ring for you to….."

"Smurf" an appalled Molly interrupted his flow of words "You're talking bollocks. I'm not seeing you Valentines, we're not going out for a meal and we're definitely not getting married, not this year, not next year, not ever, okay? I don't know where you're getting all this from, but you know it's bollocks don't you? Give your mum her ring back or save it till you find some nice girl who will love you that way, it's just never gonna be me"

"It would have been if he hadn't come along and ruined things, taken you away from me"

"You know that's not true, don't you? What did he say to you anyway?"

"Ask _him"_

He had been back at work for less than a week, discharged to light duties, and already there appeared to be a problem with trust, Molly wanted more than anything to know exactly what had been going on and why Charles had broken his promise. Had he forgotten what she'd said when he offered to sort Smurf out or didn't his promise to her mean anything?

"I'm sorry, Smurf, I was gonna tell you myself, I sorta knew you'd be upset about me and him, but it weren't like we was ever together, you and me, was it?"

"But you didn't tell me did you? You got the boss to do it instead, didn't you?"

"No, it weren't like that, I never meant to hurt you, but I never lied to you, we was never gonna be together, you and me, I kept telling you that, only you didn't wanna listen did you?"

"You'll be sorry, just you wait, I'm going to make both of you sorry"

"What the fuck are you talking about? How are we gonna be sorry? And where the hell are you going? Oi, Smurf, come back 'ere"

Smurf had slammed out of the kitchen and straight out of the front door, as Molly shouted his name and went to follow him down the stairs but he had a head start on her and she hadn't got any shoes on, let alone a coat and it was bitterly cold, the rain had turned to sleet and Smurf was now long gone into the street. Molly had the impression that he was crying. She went into the lounge, opened the curtains and looked out of the window, it was barely eight o'clock and just getting light, but there was no sign of him.

Suzie put her head round the door and asked if the coast was clear now for her to get a cuppa and some breakfast so Molly asked her how much she'd heard and then filled her in on the bits she'd missed. Tempting as it was, Suzie resisted the urge to bad mouth Charles for breaking his promise about telling Smurf, but Molly didn't need anyone to add to the angry disappointment she felt at what had happened.

"What d'you think he meant when he said about making me sorry?"

"Nothing, he was just mouthing off like a bloody kid, take no notice"

"I just hope he's not gonna do anything stupid"

"Of course he's not going to do anything stupid, he just wants you to think he is, ignore him"

"I guess"

"Go and ring Charles, he'll be worried"

"He bloody deserves to be, I'll ring him in a bit when I've thought what I'm gonna say, I ain't best pleased with him right now"

og…og…og…og…og…og

Charles had bitten his tongue as he had listened to Smurf's constant rambling on about his proposed date with Molly on Valentine's Day; it was getting increasingly difficult not to react as he regaled 2 section with one lie after another, especially as the lads were encouraging him to be more and more explicit in his descriptions of his plans. Eventually Charles had had enough and had said something on the lines of whether Smurf thought his girlfriend would appreciate being gossiped about like that in the mess, but Smurf couldn't seem to take the hint and just carried on getting more and more carried away with his fantasy until Charles, who wanted to scream, had said "Smurf, a word" and jerked his head indicating that Smurf should follow him.

"You know, you should really stop this right now Smurf, I don't think Molly would be very happy if she could hear you, do you?"

"Stop what Sir?"

"All this" he paused and sighed deeply, struggling for the right words, "bloody nonsense about you and Molly"

"It's not nonsense, Sir" Smurf had a smug, self-satisfied smirk on his face that acted like a red rag to a bull as far as Charles was concerned.

"Of course it's fucking nonsense, Private Smith, and I should know if anyone does, Molly's a very close friend of mine and has been for months now" As soon as he'd heard the words come out of his mouth, Charles regretted saying them, Smurf wasn't stupid and would draw the right conclusions from what he'd just said. He knew he'd made a big mistake and broken his promise. There was a long pause when neither of them said anything and Charles felt dreadful looking at the expression on Smurf's face, he looked like a whipped puppy that couldn't wait to escape.

"Go on" he jerked his head towards the door indicating for Smurf to leave and then started to leave messages on Molly's phone needing to confess what he'd done as soon as he could and to warn her that Smurf knew how things were, he had a feeling that Smurf wouldn't waste any time in contacting her.

og…og…og…og…og..og

"You're not working tonight are you?" Molly had slept like the dead all day and had woken up in the late afternoon all muzzy headed and unrefreshed and in a very restless and unsettled mood. She wandered into the lounge where Suzie was watching some crappy quiz show on television, one that was a repeat as well as being shit, so Molly had no conscience about interrupting her viewing.

"Let's go to the pub and get hammered" She had every intention of pulling a sickie, something she hadn't done before but she wasn't in the right frame of mind for work.

"Have you spoken to Captain "I'm so gorgeous" yet?"

"He's not like that Suzie, but no I haven't and I don't know whether I want to. I need to think about it, think what I'm doing" She wasn't sure she could accept that what Charles said didn't appear to match what he did.

"What and getting pissed will help you do that?" Suzie raised her eyebrows and laughed incredulously.

"Can't hurt, can it?" She joined in with Suzie's laughter, knowing that there was absolutely nothing to laugh at.

They had been in the pub for a couple of hours and Molly was at the stage of drunkenness where she knew she should go home so that she wouldn't have anything to say sorry for, but she wanted to stay even if she was close to the point where she wouldn't be able to remember what she'd said or done in the morning and Suzie was worse, she was already at the stage where she was going to regret it big time.

Molly recognised the car immediately and the tall dark haired man striding towards her as she and Suzie were both concentrating hard on walking in a straight line to the street door of the flats, holding onto each other for mutual support in staying upright and giggling at nothing.

"Oops" Suzie pointed at Charles.

Charles shook his head and smiled at Molly tentatively, not wanting to come across as judgemental about the fact that she had not only pulled a sickie but was rat arsed as well.

"You okay?"

"Course. How d'you know I was off sick?"

"Oh, is that what you call it?" He laughed "I phoned, they told me"

"I thought I deserved a sickie, it's not every day one of your best mates tells you he's gonna top himself cos of what you did, is it? Or that your _crap _boyfriend decides to be an arsehole like all the other arseholes and break his promises, is it?"

"I'm sorry, just let me explain what…."

"Nah" Molly shook her head as she interrupted him "I don't wanna 'ear it, I don't give a fuck what happened, I can't do this anymore"

"What are you saying?

"You 'eard" Molly walked as fast and in a straight a line as she could manage to join Suzie waiting outside the front door and they both went in without a backward glance at Charles, who stood and watched until she disappeared.

og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: Oh dear, well it was never going to be that easy and straightforward was it?**

**Thank you for your feedback, I am glad that so many of you are enjoying the story with me. Please let me know if you want me to carry on with the slow development of the plot, there's still some way to go, or whether you would like me to race to the finale. **


	13. Chapter 13

"What about 'im?"

"I'm not that desperate, anyway he's at least a hundred"

Suzie had finally decided to do something about her single status at almost exactly the same moment that Molly had re-joined her "on the bleeding shelf" as she'd put it. Suzie had quickly pointed out that she was far more on the shelf than Molly, because she was 27 and had been single 'forever' whilst Molly was just 21 and had been single for "all of five minutes" so it was a bit early for her to start panicking. Suzie had joined an internet dating agency and she and Molly were now looking at the photos and profiles of some potential 'dates' on her laptop, accompanied by large glasses of wine and a lot of giggling.

"This one looks okay"

"No he don't, he looks like he died and the undertaker 'as already started, what do you call it, embalming 'im" Molly had a serious case of the giggles now.

"It's alright for you, you walk in a room and every bloke in there starts drooling and licking their lips, and you end up with someone who looks like Captain Gorgeous, I walk in and no bugger even notices me"

"Lot of good that's done me"

"Have you rung him?"

"No, and I ain't gonna ring him and he's given up trying to ring me now, so that's okay"

"Is it?"

"Yeah, now let's get back to auditioning this bunch of sad tossers to see who's gonna get lucky for a shag. Now, what about this one?"

"Molly" Suzie was indignant and wanted to ask what that said about her but decided it would spoil the atmosphere somewhat and would lead to apologies and explanations because Molly hadn't meant to be disparaging about her, so she let it go "What's that on his head?"

"His 'air innit?" Molly peered at the screen "Jesus, I think he's knitted it 'imself"

More than a week had passed since Molly's drunken decision to, as she put it, "bin him" and at first he had rung her repeatedly, leaving loads of messages on her voice mail, all of which she had ignored, but he seemed to have given up now. Her decision, which had felt so clear cut and right and which had been fuelled by alcohol and an excess of self-righteous anger, some of which was justified, no longer always felt like the right decision and she missed him, not that she was going to do anything about it. As Nan had told her throughout her childhood, sometimes she was too stubborn for her own good and she should stop and think whether she was cutting off her nose to spite her face and she still found herself storing up snippets and anecdotes to tell him, things that would amuse him and make his eyes crinkle, or even make him laugh out loud. She had to keep telling herself that their split was for the best for both of them, and that sharing a lot of lust and a sense of humour weren't enough to make up for everything else.

She suggested to Suzie, through a fit of giggles, that they should pick a couple of the less horrendous blokes, or as she put it, blokes that didn't look like mass murders or terrorists, read their profiles and make sure they didn't still live with their mum and that they hadn't listed sports as their main interest, and set up a double date. Suzie hadn't seemed to be that keen, she'd said that some poor bastard would feel that he'd drawn the short straw by getting her while someone else got Molly. As she'd said it, Molly had realised that she could have been describing Charles, he still lived with his mum and dad and he was nearly thirty and he liked sport; it was one of the things she longed to share with him because she knew he'd see the funny side. Molly had never noticed until Charles came on the scene, and then vanished again, just how often Suzie compared herself unfavourably to her. She was sure that Suzie never used to do it, definitely not when they were in Afghan and it worried her that her friend had got such a low opinion of herself, a bit like if she was being bullied and Molly knew what that felt like, so she hoped that it was nothing that she'd done.

Going into work the night after she'd thrown a sickie was awful, everyone was so nice to her and so concerned about her mystery 'illness' that she was swamped with even more guilt than she felt already. She knew she looked like shit, a combination of a killer hangover and hours of self-pitying crying, so that she was left looking like a car crash, but every time someone commented how poorly she looked and asked her whether she was sure she was fit enough to be at work, she longed to shout that she wasn't ill, it was self-inflicted and to please stop being nice to her, it was her own fault for fuck's sake.

Someone asked whether a Captain James had managed to track her down, he'd rung because he'd said he needed to ask her about one of his platoon, apparently a friend of hers, who had gone AWOL and he'd wanted to ask whether she knew where he was before he got the authorities involved. For a few minutes Molly was deeply impressed with his ability to invent such a good cover story, she hadn't realised that he was such a shit-hot liar, better than her any day, then she realised who it was they were talking about and nodded and gave a non-committal answer about everything being sorted out now.

Her lowest point had come a couple of days later when she'd heard about her degree course at Birmingham and she'd longed to speak to him and to have the balm of his comforting words when she told him that the proper nursing profession could evidently get along very well without her help. Her lack of attendance at school in order to help her mum cope with having too many kids had led to an epic fail at getting any GCSEs, which in turn meant that she was seen as too thick to be trained as a proper nurse. She needed a minimum of five and although there might be some leeway because of her CMT qualifications, she couldn't do anything without at least a 'C' at Maths and English, another reason to be deeply grateful to her parents.

Despite her anger at her mum and dad, she wanted badly to be able to see her mum for a comforting hug to help ease the crushing disappointment and had even got as far as dialling her mother's mobile number, she had deleted it from the menu on her phone but still knew it by heart, when her stubborn pride intervened and she hastily pressed stop before the call started to connect. Her tears this time were for the feeling that everything in her life was going to shit at the same time and she seemed to be powerless to do anything to stop it.

og…og…og…og…og…og

"So what are you doing about all this mess?" Beth put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows at her son "And get off that work top, how many times have I got to tell you the same things?" He might be thirty next birthday but Beth was as annoyed with him as if he was still twelve and being obstinate over something, in this case sorting things out with Molly. "Come on Charles, you can't just walk way"

"Leave it mum" He got down from his perch on the work surface and watched as she irritably wiped disinfectant where he had been sitting "Molly's made her feelings quite plain and there's nothing much I can do about it. I stuffed up okay, I let her down and she's bloody furious with me"

"Well, tell her you're sorry"

"I wish it was that easy"

"What did you do?"

"I broke a promise, but I don't think it's just that, I think there's someone else involved"

It was almost two weeks since he had confronted a drunken Molly outside her flat and had watched her walk away with Suzie and for the first few days he had bombarded her with calls, leaving messages on her voice mail as he waited for her to sober up, calm down and ring him back. He had even contemplated driving up there and laying siege to the flat until she agreed to hear him out as he apologised and tried to explain, but had decided against that in case it went the same way as his previous attempt and infuriated her even more, he just didn't know any more. Her big fat silence meant that he'd begun to lose hope and he found himself looking more closely as to whether there was more to the Smurf situation then met the eye.

He'd expected Smurf to keep a very low profile around him, but the opposite was true. Smurf had a knowing, smug, self-satisfied smirk on his face and was almost, but not quite, guilty of dumb insolence, as if he knew something that Charles' didn't. He began to look at the frequency of Smurfs involvement in their relationship, staying at hers at Christmas, her reluctance to go anywhere with him which might upset Smurf, her insistence that he kept their relationship a secret from the section because of sparing Smurf's feelings, and that she had to tell Smurf herself, all of which now began to look very different from the calm certainty he'd had a few weeks ago. If she had no relationship with Smurf, why was she so anxious to keep their relationship a secret from him? It took all of his professional control to keep his feelings hidden when he was with the section; he wanted to slap the smirk off the Welshman's face for him.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe that for a second" Beth stood in front of him shaking her head "Have you asked her?" He shook his head, beginning to get exasperated with his mother's insistence on trying to interfere "No, I thought not. Molly adores you, anyone can see that, and I thought it was the same for you. A couple of weeks ago your dad and I were expecting an announcement any day, and now you're standing here saying you think she's got someone else, that's absolute rubbish"

"Leave it, mum, you don't understand"

"No, I probably don't, but I don't want to see the pair of you wreck something that was making you happy without trying to put it right"

"I've tried, I've been up there and she told me to piss off, and I've phoned her over and over again, she won't talk to me, she doesn't want to know. So, I'm sorry mum, there isn't going to be any announcement, and can we drop it now?"

"Your dad and I just want you to be happy, that's all"

"I know"

His mobile phone started to ring, so he punched irritably at the screen without checking to see who was calling him.

"James"

"Why, what's happened?"

"Oh, fuuuucccckkk, I'm on my way"

"Sorry mum, I've got to push off, something's happened at work" He kissed her cheek and picked up his coat "Don't worry, everything'll be fine". He waited until he got in his car to scroll through his menu and hit Molly's number.

"Moll, it's me, please pick up, it's important. Look, I don't know whether you're there or not, but I need to speak to you, it's about Smurf. Call me as soon as you get this"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: Thanks for your feedback and your lovely reviews. The consensus seems to be that we stick with the slow burn so that's what I'm going to do.**

"


	14. Chapter 14

"Come on, come on, ring damn you" For the first half an hour or so of his drive to Pirbright he was urging his mobile phone to ring, even though he was driving so would have to use hands free, and he was getting increasingly irritated at the deafening silence. He had no idea whether she was at work; he knew she had been at the point of changing to days, or asleep or just ignoring him. It underlined the distance between them; a few short weeks ago he would have known her shift pattern as well as she did. Then he realised that even if she did ring he hadn't got a clue what to say to her, and until he'd found out first-hand what had happened and what the current situation was, anything he said would be pure speculation and he couldn't do that. His first impulse had been to talk to Molly but he hadn't thought it through, so now he was considering turning the phone off, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it while there was a chance she'd call.

It was another ten minutes before he had a blinding flash of recollection of something that Molly had said when she'd been drunk and mad at him; that Smurf had told her that he was going to, as she'd put it, top himself. That was the point at which he turned his phone off. The only thing he knew for sure was that there had been an accident, Smurf had fallen off something or over something during a training run, a cross country obstacle race, and appeared to be badly hurt. He had some kind of head injury apparently and had been taken to the base hospital where Charles was headed now, but there was no way he was going to tell Molly anything until he knew exactly what was going on.

After an endless nightmare of a drive where he seemed to get stuck behind every slow motion driver in the south of England, he finally pulled into a parking space outside the hospital and checked his phone for missed calls. None! He didn't know whether to be relieved or annoyed, he was still obviously 'public enemy number one' as far as she was concerned. He strode into the reception area and was greeted by an anxious looking Derek Kinders who was waiting by the seating area and was clearly very relieved to see him.

"What happened, Derek?"

"I have no idea boss, we built a log bridge and were crossing the river sitting on it and sliding along on our backsides when he seemed to just fall off, must have hit his head when he fell because he was out cold when I reached him and was still out cold when we got here"

"He fell, right? No-one pushed him, you know, got too close or anything?"

"No, there was no-one near him"

"Make sure you keep this to yourself Derek, but is there any chance he could have rolled off deliberately?"

"I shouldn't think so Boss, he'd have to have been bloody stupid, it was a long drop and I mean I know he's a dick but why the hell would he do something like that?"

"No, you're right of course, forget I asked. Let's go and find out how he's doing"

To outward appearances he was cool, calm and in total control of himself, every inch the army Captain. He was striding along the corridor looking for the right room and medical team so that he could get an update on what the damage was to Smurf's head, but inside he was like a hamster on a wheel frantically running on the spot to get nowhere, and if he was right in his suspicions, terrified of the effect this would have on Molly.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

"So it wasn't exactly the start of a beautiful romance then?" Molly was giggling at the expression on Suzie's face as she shuddered theatrically.

"No it bloody well wasn't! And I'm never letting you pick again?"

"He looked okay"

"Yes he looked okay alright, but he was the most boring fucker I've ever met in my life"

"Oh, so there's no chance of a shag then?"

"Stop taking the piss! I know every bloody detail of his job, his house, his car, his last bleeding holiday, his last girlfriend, poor cow, you name it I know it, he never stopped talking about himself all evening, and he never asked me anything about me. It was like being out with someone From TripAdvisor. I went to the loo so many times to call you to rescue me that he must think I've got cystitis or a case of the shits. In the end I was writing my Tesco's shopping list in my head" In spite of her mock indignation, Suzie was now giggling as helplessly as Molly.

"Sorry, me phone was switched off"

"Why?"

"Cos 'you know who' called wanting me to ring him for a cosy chat about Smurf, so I turned it off in case he rang again" Molly changed the subject, she didn't want to talk about Charles or Smurf "So, you're not going to give whatsisname another chance then? He might have just been nervous and that's why he talked too much"

"What, it's not enough for me to hate him once? I've got to give him another go so that I can _really, really_ hate him?"

"Okay, let's have another look, see who else is available"

"No, I'm going to look for myself, I'm going to stop looking for a George Clooney look alike and go for ugly and human, someone who'll be grateful for _my_ company thanks very much"

The post mortem was on Suzie's first ever internet date the previous evening and the two girls were making the most of a rare Saturday off together by eating breakfast in their pyjamas and half watching breakfast T.V. Molly had the whole weekend off as she was transferring to days on Monday, but was feeling at a loose end, all her recent blocks of time off had been spent in Bath.

"What shall we do today? Let's go out somewhere"

"Molly, it's pissing down out there, maybe later if it clears up a bit, and are you ever going to turn your phone back on?"

"Yeah, but if he's rung again its going straight off, okay?" She turned her phone on "Look, told you, 5 missed calls! Oh, there're all from you…. sorry"

"Nothing from him?"

"No, he said it was important, can't have been that important, can it?"

"You're never satisfied are you? Poor bugger can't do anything right can he?"

"You've changed your tune"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

Charles and Kinders stood watching though the window as the medical team worked on Smurf, they had been there most of the night, waiting in the main reception, and then returning to the room where Smurf was being treated. There were monitors lit up with coloured lines and numbers and an alarm was sounding continuously so that Charles got irritated and wished that someone would turn the fucking thing off. Some of the activity was giving him a frightening sense of deja vue; it was like being back in Birmingham and being aware of medical staff scurrying around and monitors beeping with alarms going off, and the horrible sensation of not being sure of what was going on. He saw one nurse shine a light in Smurf's eyes and was instantly taken back to Bastion and Molly. For a moment he felt an ominous prickling at the top of his nose and behind his eyes making him aware that he missed her more than he could say, that he was scared and he needed her to be standing next to him so that he could slip her tiny hand into his to make him feel better.

One of the medical staff noticed them watching through the glass and moved to close the venetian blinds so that Charles and Kinders could no longer see what was going on, so they moved to lean against the wall opposite the room, there were no seats, and waited for someone to come along who could give them an update.

"Sorry Boss"

"What are you sorry for? It wasn't your fault was it, it was an accident"

"I don't know what happened, I thought we had all the safety shit covered"

As Kinders spoke, the door opened and Charles knew instantly what the man in the green scrubs was going to say, a large knot of dread formed in his stomach as he walked towards him and introduced himself.

"I'm really sorry, Captain, but there was nothing we could do to revive him, but we knew from the first it was probably hopeless, we did our best but it was virtually all over before he even got here"

Charles wanted to howl "Nnnoooo", this couldn't be bloody happening, it was a fucking nightmare. He heard Kinders' sharp intake of breath and knew that he would be torturing himself with guilt as well as beginning to think of ways to defend himself against the inevitable speculation as to who was to blame.

"Do we know yet what killed him?" Charles was saying a silent prayer that it had been a dizzy spell or something similar that had made him fall.

"I don't think it was a head injury, there are no signs of trauma to his head, no bruising or anything. We'll know more when the post mortem is done and we can see whether there were any drugs or alcohol involved"

"When will we know?"

"Couple of days, maybe three, we'll keep you informed"

At the mention of the possibility of drugs or alcohol Charles heard Kinders take another sharp intake of breath and whisper "Christ, no" and knew he was contemplating the repercussions on him as the officer in charge on the exercise if it was proved that Smurf was impaired through drugs or alcohol. He agreed with the sentiments, but for a whole different bunch of reasons as he patted Kinders arm and gestured that they should leave.

He had to make a decision as to what to do about Molly, whether to drive up and tell her, but he didn't know whether she would be at home or work or even whether she would talk to him, or whether to try phoning again, he knew he had to tell her but couldn't for the life of him think what to tell her exactly. In the end he sent her a text asking her to call him. He couldn't say what had happened in a text so he just said that there'd been an accident involving Smurf, and then waited for her call, still unsure how to tell her.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

They were walking on the downs, enjoying the late winter sunshine, even though Molly kept complaining that it was bloody taters as the wind blew her hair around. She wished she'd stopped being so stubborn and had put her 'boiled egg' hat on, after all he wasn't here to see that he'd won and she was bloody frozen.

She looked to see who her text was from and went to delete it unread, thought better of it and read it then turned her back to Suzie and scrolled frantically through her menu and heard it start to ring.

"What's 'appened"

"I'm sorry Molls"

"Sorry about what? What the fucks 'appened to him, is he okay?"

"No, he's not, I'm sorry sweetheart, but Smurf died this morning" Neither of them noticed his use of the endearment; Charles had his eyes closed as he was filled again with the horror of what he was having to tell her.

"Oh shit, he did it, he said he was going to and he did, he said he'd make me sorry and he 'as, this is all my fault, I've killed him"

He could hear the tears thickening her voice, as he sought to find the right words to comfort her if he could.

"You haven't killed him, Molly, you haven't done anything and we don't even know yet what happened, how he died, all we know is that he fell off a log bridge. They're doing a Post Mortem, so we'll know more after that"

"Oh God, poor Smurf, don't matter what anyone says, we killed him Charles and what about his poor mum? Oh God" Charles could hear her sobbing and then heard Suzie's concerned voice as she spoke to Molly, although he couldn't hear what she was saying, then she spoke to him on Molly's phone.

"I'll get her home and look after her"

"Where are you?"

"Out on the downs. Look Charles, I'll get her to call you later, okay?"

Charles sat and looked at his phone and wanted nothing more than to get in his car and drive up to Epsom and put his arms round her, hating this feeling of powerlessness and hoping that Suzie would keep her word and get Molly to call him later.

og…og…og…og…og…og..og

She went on the train and stood looking up at the front door of the house, then took a deep breath and knocked and waited for it to be opened, hoping with all her heart that he wasn't there. As soon as someone opened the door, she burst into tears and was pulled into an embrace. "Hello Mum"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: I wrote this a little while ago and have just re-read it and then had to find a tissue for both of them. Hope you enjoy it, although with this much emotion I'm not sure enjoyed is the right word.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews and positive feedback**


	15. Chapter 15

It probably wasn't the best decision she'd ever made, a trip all the way out to east Ham after a fairly gruelling twelve hour shift but she was restless, lonely and miserable and couldn't face an evening alone in the flat, Suzie had started a spell of nights, and she'd had this sudden urge to see her mum.

"What's happened Molls? Is it that posh bloke of yours? Are you pregnant?"

"No Mum, why do you always think that? I'm not pregnant and it's nothing to do with him, not really, and he's not my bloke anymore" Molly burst into a fresh bout of sobs.

"Is that what's wrong? Come on Molls, it's not the end of the world"

"No Mum, it's not that, well not only that" Molly fumbled in her pockets for a tissue then gave up and wiped her face on her sleeve.

"Well what is it then, come on you're worrying me now?"

"I didn't know you worried about me, I didn't think any of you lot cared"

"Of course we care, now come on what the hell's 'appened?"

Molly started to explain all about Smurf and what had happened and about Charles and what had gone wrong and she found that once she started it was as if she was a flowing tap that she couldn't turn off. Belinda looked puzzled and said that she didn't understand how it could possibly be Molly's fault if this Smurf bloke had never been her boyfriend, if there'd never been anything like that between them, so was this bloke a bell-end or what? As she listened to her mother, it dawned on Molly that she was looking at it all cock-eyed, that Smurf's threat to make her sorry had been him trying to blackmail her and lashing out because he couldn't get what he wanted, which was very sad, but she wasn't responsible for what he'd done, if that was what he'd done, it was his decision. She'd never led him on, never made him believe she would end up with him, she'd never even kissed him let alone done anything else and she'd never wanted to, she'd done everything she could to stop him believing in his fairy tale, maybe the only thing more she could have done was to have been more harsh with him, stopped trying to spare his feelings.

She told Belinda about being turned down for Birmingham and how horribly disappointed and upset she was and told her the reason she'd been rejected and then smiled wryly to herself as she heard her mum say "Well, never mind, you're a sort of nurse now, aren't you?" obviously trying to make her feel better but it showed that Belinda had no idea what it felt like to be held back from doing something you badly wanted to do by something that had happened in your past, something you'd had no control over, or that she and Dave were in any way even a little bit responsible for what had happened.

She stayed with her mother for over an hour and Belinda made countless promises about how she was going to sort Dave out and get the family back together, and how Moll wasn't to worry, that they all loved her and missed her and that she knew she'd been a crap mum and let her down and Molly desperately wanted to believe her, wanted to be back within the family, but she was extremely sceptical that her mother would ever be strong enough to stand up to Dave and she was beginning to feel exhausted and still needed to get home, she was due to start work again at 8.00 the next morning.

The journey home was slightly unnerving, it had been a very long time since Molly had cheerfully hopped on and off late night tubes and busses without a qualm and walked late night streets without looking over her shoulder and it took a while to remember the basic rules of not getting in an empty carriage, not smiling at anyone, not sitting too near the obvious drunks and choosing a carriage where there were other women on their own. She was suddenly so tempted to ring Charles that she tried to give herself a strong talking to, and then did it anyway. Suzie had tried her best to get her to call him back on Saturday, saying that she'd promised, but Molly had stubbornly refused, knowing that she would end up crying and had said that if Suzie had promised, then maybe she should ring him herself. Suzie had given her a withering look and left her to it, her sympathy rapidly wearing thin.

"Hello"

"Hello, what's up, are you okay?"

"Nothings up, well I'm just a bit sad and I wanted to talk to you"

"I'm sad too" He paused "I miss you"

"Don't make me bawl, I'll be a magnet for every nutter" She paused "and there's a fair few of them about"

"Where are you?"

"On the tube, so don't be surprised if I lose the signal any minute"

"What at this time of night? For fuck's sake, Molly"

"I'll be okay, I've been to me mum's"

"That's good" He paused again then asked doubtfully "Isn't it?"

"Yeah, well, we've sort of made up"

"Good, and with your dad?

"Don't be a dickhead"

"Sorry, are you going to sort of make up with me now?" he paused for a third time "Please?"

"Maybe"

"Oh for Christ's sake, not fucking 'maybe' again, what is it with you and 'maybe'?"

Charles heard something that he'd thought he was unlikely to hear again as Molly giggled and despite the fact that he wanted to scream at her for putting herself in danger by being on her own on the tube late at night, he managed to control the impulse and laughed as well, then asked her to text him when she got home.

"If I remember"

"Don't you bloody dare forget or I'll be awake all night worrying about you"

"Yes Dad"

He had a big grin on his face as he disconnected the call. It had come completely out of the blue and was more than he'd dared hope for. He'd wanted to say "I love you" and to ask whether he could come and see her the next evening but he was scared of pushing it. He couldn't help the little glimmer of hope that this was the first step in her forgiving him.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

"What does that mean, no obvious cause of death? I mean people don't just roll over and die for no good reason, not young, fit people anyway, and he was fit"

"Well, yes they do, actually. Look, I'm sorry Captain James, maybe I didn't make myself clear, I meant that there was no obvious head injury, no sign of drugs or alcohol being involved, no one thing to account for his death. He'd had a small cerebral bleed, a concussion if you like, but not enough to kill we wouldn't have thought, and we found a small lesion on his brain, a tumour"

"What, cancer?" Charles interrupted.

"Can't say, but not necessarily, we're waiting for the tests to show us exactly what it was. It could be that a previous head injury had done some sort of damage but not enough to kill him at the time, we just can't say with any certainty. Sorry"

"So, when will we have the full picture? I mean, he was in a road accident a while back in Afghanistan, well we all were, and he had some problem with his neck or back, but no-one ever mentioned a head injury"

"Could have been that, there's no way of knowing and I know this is difficult, but it's not as if it's a matter of life or death urgency now is it? We'll get the results when they're ready and I'll make sure you're informed"

This was not the news that Charles had been looking for and he wasn't even sure that he'd been given the whole story. He knew he'd allowed his impatience to get the better of him when he'd rung the doctor who had been treating Smurf and who he knew would have had the preliminary results of the post mortem by now, but all that had achieved had been to add to the doubts which refused to leave him alone. He wanted to be able to tell the rest of 2 section exactly what had happened and why it'd happened, so that everyone could start to deal with it. At the moment there was a huge amount of shock and speculation and rumour and gossip and breast beating with retrospective guilt for the way they used to wind him up. He wished he'd thought to ask the doctor whether this lesion or the bleeding could explain Smurf's erratic and often downright strange behaviour, but it was a bit late now, and he didn't feel he could pester him. He could sense that the man had begun to get a tad irritated with him and it was another thing that didn't really matter now, except to him.

He wanted to be able to phone Molly and give her definitive proof that it wasn't anyone's fault, that it was just one of those things. She'd told him that she didn't blame herself, or him, anymore, but he wasn't so sure she was telling the whole truth. He still hadn't seen her, although they had spoken on the phone a couple of times and the atmosphere between them seemed to be thawing, but neither of them had said anything about the future, and getting back together and until he could see her, put his arms round her, he couldn't quite bring himself to believe there was any future.

og…og…og…og…og….og…og…og

"Are you going on Thursday?"

"Yeah"

"On your own?"

"Yep, Suzie did offer to come with me, but it ain't really a sort of social thing is it? and I don't wanna be harsh but she never really liked him, so …"

"Do you want to come with me? Come to Bath on Wednesday and we can go together?"

"Can't, I don't finish till 8.00 so I'll go straight to Newport on Thursday morning ….." Inside her head Molly was repeating bugger, bugger, bugger, why didn't I ask for Wednesday off as well.

"Okay, see you there then"

Molly has been very unsure whether to go to the funeral, it meant asking for time off and she wasn't sure she wanted to face the rest of Smurf's section, they would expect her to be the devastated girlfriend and she just wasn't. Yes, she was sad, very sad, he'd been far too young to die and it wasn't like he'd been ill, or been in a car crash or anything, and it made a waste of all those hours flat on his back at Bastion, but their relationship hadn't been the way he'd sold it to the others, they'd been mates, nothing more. She also had butterflies at the thought of seeing Charles again, she was sure that everyone would be able to see exactly how she felt. She knew, without the smallest shadow of a doubt, that she had made the most horrendously stupid mistake in splitting up with him and she couldn't imagine now what the hell she'd been thinking of.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

"Is Molly going to the funeral?"

"Yes"

"Well just you make sure you sort things out with her. Yes, I know you've got back on speaking terms the last few days, but you need to make sure that you tell her how you feel"

"How I feel, or how you feel Mum?" Charles laughed as Beth shook her head at him.

"How else am I going to get some more grandchildren if you keep on playing silly buggers, as your dad would say? All my friends have got babies to brag about"

"You've got Sam"

"Yes and I love him to bits, you know I do, but Rebecca wouldn't share him, he was always in some routine or other which meant it was never the right time for me to have a cuddle when he was a baby"

"Mum, even if me and Molls were together, there wouldn't be any babies, well not for years, she's going to University in Birmingham to get a nursing degree and that takes about three years, and then she'll most likely want to put it into practice for a bit, so we're talking about at least five years" Charles couldn't help laughing at the disgruntled expression on Beth's face. He knew he didn't really care as long as he had Molly back; everything else had faded into the background.

"I'm really dreading tomorrow, you know this is the second son she's lost, Smurf's mother, and both of them were under my care when they died so I feel sort of responsible and I'm sure she's going to think that"

"It's not your fault, any more than it was Molly's fault. I feel very sorry for her, but one of her sons was shot by the Taliban, just like you were, and the other had a problem in his brain, neither of those things were your fault, just remember that, so don't let it stop you being happy"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

The churchyard at Newport was teaming with people milling around when Molly arrived and she felt it was all wrong that the place was bathed in sunshine. It always seemed to her that the weather should be grey and miserable, even raining, for funerals, to match the way people were feeling, not sunny and bright. Two section were wearing dress uniforms and were lined up waiting for the hearse and the coffin, and a couple of them waved at her as she scanned the crowd looking for him, but he was nowhere to be seen, so that she felt a huge wave of disappointment and hoped he was just late and hadn't changed his mind or anything. He was the main reason she'd got up at the crack of dawn and made the trip.

People had started to move into the church en masse as if there had been some sort of invisible or inaudible signal that it was time, so Molly tagged along behind some other people who weren't in uniform and saw him immediately she got inside and then sat at the very back. He was in one of the front pews talking to someone and was wearing dress uniform like the rest of the men and looked heartbreakingly slender from behind. He had obviously lost a lot of weight since the last time he'd worn the jacket, it looked loose on him as she stared hard at his back, willing him to turn round and smile at her and wondered if there was any truth in the saying that people felt it when someone stared at them so that it made them turn round and look.

She had just decided that it was bullshit when the procession entered the church. His mates were shouldering Smurf's coffin and his mum went into the front pew as Charles moved back one and turned and caught sight of her at the back of the church. For a moment he hesitated as she caught her bottom lip in her teeth and half smiled at him, then he smiled the same sort of tentative smile and turned to the front waiting for the service to start.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: Sorry to those who were expecting this update yesterday, blame Mr Branson's cr*p broadband and tele service. It's gone off for hours every day for the past two weeks, and I missed yesterday's 5 minute slot when it was actually working. Phoning to report the fault, **_**again,**_** means you get to listen to a disembodied robot telling you what you already know, that it's not working, and then they give you five hundred options, none of them the right one. They don't seem to employ human beings, so if we weren't tied to a contract they would be toast. Argghhh**

**Thanks for your feedback and reviews, I really appreciate everything you say and the fact that you make the effort and take the time to say it.**


	16. Chapter 16

One thing she had been worried about was that she was bound to cry, funerals always made everyone cry and would she be able to cry so that it would show that she was sorry he was dead but not so much that she made a tit of herself and gave everyone the idea she was a devastated girlfriend. It wasn't that she wasn't sad about Smurf's death, she was, but the whole thing was wrapped up in a lot of other feelings, including anger and guilt. If Charles was right, and she had to take his word for what the doctor's had told him, why hadn't anyone, including her, realised that Smurf might be sick? That his nutbar obsession with her and his conviction that the stuff in his head was all real hadn't been a bit normal and she was supposed to be a medic, she should have seen. She remembered one of her trainers telling her that it was an annoying consequence of training to be a medic, that you found yourself jumping in and diagnosing illnesses in all your friends and relatives, not to mention total strangers, illnesses they more than likely didn't have, and yet she hadn't noticed when someone had a real problem.

The service was quietly dignified and Molly was totally proud of the way Charles held it together, she could see he was struggling with his sorrow as he quoted some Dylan Thomas and said a few words of praise and farewell for the soldier that was Smurf whilst the vicar read a family and friends type of speech. Molly had no idea why the vicar was doing it but she could hear Smurf's mum sobbing in the quiet church, so she reckoned that she didn't feel up to it. It was hearing her quiet grief that made Molly cry, that, and the knowledge that Charles was looking at her the whole time he was speaking as if she was a magnet, and he looked so sad that she wanted nothing more than to hug him and tell him not to worry and that everything was going to be okay.

Outside the church after the service she saw Smurf's mother say something to Charles and saw his gut wrenching pain at whatever she'd said and thought 'sod it, I don't care who's watching' and made her way towards him as he stood looking at the floor, an expression of pure misery on his face. She put her hand on his arm, making him jump slightly, he'd been miles away.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Not especially"

"She didn't mean it, you know, whatever it was she said, she's just upset and angry and she needs it to be someone's fault. We see it all the time in hospital when something happens to someone, people need someone to blame. None of this was your fault"

"I know, but I'm angry myself, why the fuck didn't any of us realise that he was ill?"

"Do you need a hug?"

"Of course I do, I'm not sure it's a great idea here though" He looked around at the people standing in the churchyard.

"I do, I need a hug, I mean, and I think it's a great idea""

"Do you? Come here then"

They put their arms round each other and hugged each other as tightly as they could, until Molly stepped back slightly and looked up at his face.

"When I came into the church before I was staring at your back _willing _you to turn round cos I've heard that's what happens if you stare at someone, but I thought it didn't work, but now every bugger here is staring at us and I can feel it"

"I know, this is going to set tongues wagging isn't it?"

"Maybe they'll all think that you're comforting me"

"The other way round more like"

"Yeah, I suppose we'd better stop, hadn't we?"

"Are you going to come home to Bath with me after this is over? Mum's dying to see you"

"What about you?"

"Nope, seen all I want of you today" he smiled "What do you think, Muppet?" He remembered that she'd said that was what her friends called her when he'd asked her name at Bastion.

"Oi, sod off, only my friends are allowed to call me that"

He badly wanted to kiss her but had to content himself with a squeeze of her hand, a kiss would certainly add to the audience enjoyment of the floor show they were putting on, but it was totally inappropriate behaviour and the army wouldn't exactly jump up and down with delight or encourage anyone to make a spectacle of themselves when decked out in full dress uniform at a funeral.

Their journey back to Bath was very quiet, Molly's long shift of the day before and her early start that morning had caught up with her, so she struggled to stay awake for a few minutes as they set off, then fell fast asleep, and stayed asleep until they drew up at the back of Royal Crescent. He thought that the car stopping and the sudden silence would wake her up but she slept on, oblivious, until he stroked her face and leaned over and dropped a light kiss on her nose.

"Come on sleepyhead"

"Where are we?" Her voice was thick with sleep as she stretched and then rubbed her neck as if she had been sleeping awkwardly, and yawned.

"Home"

"Charles, before we go in"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry that I've been such a fuck muppet over all this, I was all over the shop but none of it were your fault"

"Does that mean I'm forgiven then?"

"There weren't nothing to forgive. The other night when I was on the tube I thought about what I'd have done if I'd 'eard some slapper saying that she was sleeping with you and I knew she was making it up, I'd have beaten the bleeding crap out of 'er, mind you if I thought she was telling the truth I'd have beaten the bleeding crap out of you, just so as you know"

"Yep, I think I've got that, thanks"

They wandered round to the front of the house walking close together without actually touching and Molly was filled with anticipation, she had the same sort of butterflies that she'd felt in an Italian restaurant before Christmas, which seemed like a lifetime ago. Beth came bustling down the hall to hug her as soon as they got into the house, fussing around her as though she was a long lost daughter. It felt strange to Molly, as though it had been months since she was last here not just a few short weeks and she had the remembered familiar sensation of getting home.

"Do you two want a cuppa?" Beth went into the kitchen.

"Thanks Mum"

"Go into the drawing room and I'll bring it through"

They stood in the middle of the room looking at each other and holding both hands, both longing to take up where they had left off in the churchyard, but very aware of Beth's imminent arrival with tea. Beth coughed before she came in which made Charles laugh at her attempt to be tactful as he took the mugs from her.

"I'm going to take the dog for a walk"

"We haven't got a dog, Mum" Charles and Molly both started laughing "Not the last time I looked anyway"

"I'm going to borrow next door's" Beth laughed as well "Okay, if not I'll pretend. It doesn't matter which, I'll be out for at least an hour."

"Mum!"

Charles turned to Molly as his mother pretended not to hear and disappeared.

"Sorry, subtlety isn't her strong point"

"I don't mind, I love your mum"

"She loves you as well"

"I love you too"

"Do you?" His face broke into a wide grin "You've never said that before, that's the first time"

"I weren't sure before, but being without you this last couple of weeks was doing me head in, I hated it"

"And are you sure now?"

"Yep, shall I say it again?"

"Yes, come here and say it"

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly on her closed lips sending her butterflies into orbit as she whispered that she did love him but did he still love her because he hadn't said so for ages.

"You haven't given me much chance to say it lately have you? and just so that you know, I'm going to do my best to stop being so bloody jealous, okay?"

"I quite like you being jealous, well, not too much, and I'm sorry I haven't given you a chance to say you love me lately"

"What's with all this meek stuff, all these 'sorrys', you're beginning to worry me"  
"Make the most of it, it more than likely won't last"

"In that case shall we go to bed?"

"I thought you'd never ask"

They ran up the stairs holding hands although Charles ran out of energy long before they got anywhere near the top, reminding Molly that he was not one hundred percent recovered yet, something she tended to forget as he did his best to hide any weakness from everyone, including her. This was actually the first time they had made love without there being other people in the house, except for that time in the flat when Suzie had come home shortly afterwards, and despite Charles' repeated reassurances, she had always been a bit dubious as to whether or not they could be heard. Making love knowing that the house was empty and that there was no-one in to hear them gave a whole new meaning to making up as far as Molly was concerned.

Making love to someone you love and who you know loves you, and who you thought you'd lost was magic for both of them, the sense of urgency, the need to not only say the words but to give each other the sort of pleasure that showed how much you meant those words, so much so that they were reluctant to separate afterwards and Charles pulled her naked body on top of him so that she was sprawled on him as he held her tight and bunched the curls at the bottom of her hair with his hand.

"What's the time?"

"No idea, can't see the clock" He sleepily kissed the top of the head that was tucked under his chin, then, with a note of horror in his voice "You're not going back tonight are you, when do you have to be back at work?"

"8.00 Monday, It's my weekend off and I got two days for the funeral, but I can't stay all that time, I've got no toothbrush or clean knickers or anything"

"We can go shopping, they sell toothbrushes in Waitrose and you don't need knickers, we can stay in bed"

"No we can't, not all that time" Molly giggled "What about your mum and dad?"

"Mum won't mind, she'll probably be pleased" He started to laugh "She's acting as my official pimp, hadn't you noticed?"

"Charles! Don't say that, it sounds 'orrible"

"Well she's not exactly subtle is she? I'm surprised she didn't get a pitchfork and pack us off to bed"

"She wants you to be happy, that's all"

"Us, she wants us to be happy"

"I could ask your dad, he'll know"

"Know what?"

"Whether Waitrose sells knickers"

"I keep telling you, you don't need knickers even if we don't stay in bed, I quite like the thought of watching you walk around knowing you haven't got any on"

"Stop being a pervert"

There was a long contented silence as they both began to doze, then as Molly heard the unmistakeable sound of the front door closing she nudged Charles awake,

"Charles…."

"What?"

"I couldn't half do with that cup of tea now"

"Later, come here…."

"If you're gonna do that you'll have to get up and close the door properly, I just heard someone come in"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

"How's my favourite girl? Come here and make an old man very happy"

"I can't see an old man, but I'm happy to see you"

"Flattery will get you everywhere"

Molly giggled as she and Charles went into the kitchen where his parents were making supper, or Beth was with lots of interference from Martin and Charles pretended to be indignant as his father swung Molly off her feet in a bear hug.

"Oi you two, what's with the mutual admiration or are you trying to make me jealous?"

"You promised you wouldn't and I need Martin's help. I need to know whether Waitrose sells knickers 'n that"

"I haven't ever looked, contrary to common belief I am not yet a dirty old man who checks out the women's knicker section in the supermarket" Martin pretended to be insulted "On the other hand, there's no time like the present, so get your coat and shoes, and we'll go and look"

"I didn't mean for you to have to take me, I can go on my own, I know where it is, or Charles can come with me"

"Now she's trying to deprive me of the opportunity to look at knickers" He pretended to be annoyed "There is no need for anyone else to help, I'm the Waitrose expert in this house, so come on, lets go"

Beth shook her head at her husband's antics and grinned at her son as she asked him whether everything was okay, so that he shook his head back at her with a huge smirk on his face and told her not to be so bloody nosy and then relented and told her that everything was back on track and he couldn't be happier, in case she hadn't noticed, which he was sure she had.

"I hope Molls will be okay with dad, you know, that he won't say anything outrageous about knickers"

"She'll be fine, she's not a shrinking violet who's going to get all embarrassed Charles, and dad wouldn't say anything to upset her, he thinks the world of her"

"I know, I never saw dad hug Rebecca like that"

"Who want's frost bite?"

"She wasn't that bad"

"If you say so"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: Thank you to everyone who told me yesterday that I had initially uploaded the wrong chapter, blame it on finger trouble caused by over excitement that my internet connection was actually working the first time of asking….**

**Thanks for your kind comments, I hope you enjoy the start of the next stage in their lives. Please review for me.**


	17. Chapter 17

"Don't let her interrogate you, she can be bloody nosy"

"What, you scared she's going ask me to give you marks out of ten?"

"Cheeky cow" Charles pretended to be offended "Anyway it would be 10/10, what other score can you give for perfect?"

"Get over yourself" Molly giggled "Anyway it's gonna be you what gets interrogated. They're all gonna wanna know what you was doing messing with Smurf's girlfriend at his funeral"

"I'm not going to tell them anything, it's none of their business. I'm the boss, I can do as I like"

Moll had pouted a bit when he'd told her that he had to put in an appearance at work today, not least because he was down to be Duty Officer for this Saturday and he had every intention of arranging to swap, or if all else failed, as he put it, to bully, blackmail or, if necessary, pull rank on a junior officer to cover for him. He was not going to work this Saturday whatever it took. He had no qualms about dealing with the inevitable gossip following their little display in the churchyard yesterday, he would, as he had told Molly, simply ignore it and he doubted that anyone would have the bottle to ask him anything outright. Beth was taking Molly into town so that she could buy a few bits and pieces as she said she would be minging if she had to wear the same clothes for four days.

She and Martin had arrived back from their abortive Waitrose mission and Martin had been outraged that Waitrose had let him down, but was full of praise for Sainsbury's where they'd found a knicker section. He was full of excitement when he regaled Beth with the wonderful selection of things they'd never tried that were available in Sainsbury's and how he was going to start giving them a go. Molly could see the twinkle in his eye as Beth muttered "Oh God, no" and knew that he was winding her up.

The meal was just as though the last few weeks hadn't happened, laughing and teasing and drinking a little bit too much wine until Martin, being Martin, asked about the elephant in the room. He had always believed it was better to talk about things, to bring them into the open rather than to try and bury them and pretend they hadn't happened.

"So, this funeral today, what happened to this chap, bit young to croak it, wasn't he?"

"He was 23"

"Leave it Martin"

Charles and Beth both spoke at the same time, Beth with a warning glance at her husband, she didn't want anything to spoil the evening and sometimes she felt that Martin was the absolute limit. He took no notice.

"Was it an accident?"

"Yes, he had an accident but that wasn't enough to kill him, apparently. He had some sort of lesion on his brain, we haven't heard what it was yet, but it might have been caused by a concussion from the accident in Afghan. He had been acting a bit weird though for a while before this happened, but that's sort of with hindsight"

"Concussion? Isn't that what you had in Afghan, how do we know you haven't got some permanent damage?"

"Don't panic Mum, I wasn't that bad, just a bit groggy for a day or two"

"How the hell would we tell?" Charles and Martin both spoke at the same time, Martin earning a filthy look from his wife for his tasteless joke; she was serious in her concern.

"Actually you were" Molly spoke very quietly, remembering how scared she had been the night he was admitted and how odd that seemed now because at the time he had been a total stranger, and to quote what he had said to her once, she'd had no clue how important he was going to be to her.

"You kept getting very shitty when I had to keep waking you up to make sure you were still with us and then you puked your guts up, both of which are signs that someone's brain is swelling, so I was really scared by the time I went off that you was going to be in Intensive Care or worse, you'd be brown bread when I got back next day"

"Really? You hid it well, you kept calling me mate and teasing me but you were very kind to me when I threw up all over you"

"Yeah, thanks for that. It was my job to be kind to you and you couldn't 'elp it, I could 'ardly tell you I was bricking it, could I? Calling you mate was part of my shit bedside manner"

"I liked it"

"You're biased"

"I expect they'll try and change your bedside manner when you do this course in Birmingham" Beth was trying to be kind and show an interest although in her heart of hearts she didn't want Molly to do the course, she wanted her to stay at home and have babies.

"Maybe"

Molly looked at Beth as if she was a rabbit caught in the headlights, she hadn't said anything to Charles yet about being rejected by Birmingham and she didn't certainly want to admit to her epic fail for the first time in front of his parents. She knew she would burst into tears if she did; the feeling of disappointment was still very raw.

Charles knew instantly that there was something wrong so he managed to change the subject and talk about Sam's visit on Sunday and whether they thought the three of them should go out, or maybe all five of them, and if so had anyone any suggestions as to where they could go.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

"Okay, give"

"Give what?"

"Tell me what's happened about Birmingham and don't say nothing, I can see there's something"

"They've decided they can get along very nicely without a thick squaddie from the east end"

"What are you talking about? You're not thick"

"Yeah I am, they told me I needed five GCSEs to get in, and I ain't got any, so that's that. Although come to think about it, I don't see why you need Maths and English to wipe arses and clean up puke" She was a little bit angry and resentful as well as very disappointed and it showed.

"There's a bit more to it than that though isn't there? Have you talked to your CO?"

"Yup, 'e says I can get in with three, English, Maths and a Science, but it might as well be thirty three, I ain't gotta hope"

"Of course you have, have you talked to the Education people? It will only take about a year to get them and I think some of the study you can do on-line, come on Molly you can do anything you want, you know you can"

"You reckon" Molly sounded extremely dubious "I don't think it'll happen"

"Well I do. Now come here and make me feel better"

"Why should I make you feel better?" Molly started giggling "What's up with you?"

"I feel your pain" Charles started to laugh

"Twat"

og...og…og…og…og…og…og

There was an atmosphere you could cut with a knife before he called the section to come to attention in front of him, lots of raised eyebrows at each other and sidelong glances accompanied by knowing smirks, so that Charles was tempted to tell them all to mind their own fucking business and to threaten that the next one to step over the line would be on latrine clean for the rest of the month, or even the rest of their lives.

"Kinders, with me"

As he looked at his corporal standing to attention in front of him in his office with a small knowing smirk on his face, Charles acknowledged for the first time how much he disliked the other man. He had worked with him for a long time and tolerated his tendency to smirk and to buck-pass as much as he could, nothing was ever really his fault, even when he said sorry for something he didn't mean it, and Charles really didn't like him. He decided to put him straight about Molly and to let him pass it on to the other lads and try to put a stop to all this bloody nonsense.

"Easy Corporal. I couldn't help noticing" Charles thought that was an understatement if ever there was one "There seems to be some" he hesitated looking for the right word "chat about me and my fiancée after the funeral yesterday" He saw the look of shock on Kinders' face and thought that Molly would be equally shocked if she could hear him, probably just before she killed him.

"Fiancee Sir? I didn't know you were engaged"

"No reason why you should, is there?"

"No…..… but we all thought she was Smurf's girlfriend, that's what he kept telling us"

"Yes, well he was lying to you all. Molly and I have been together a while and you told me yourself at Christmas that you weren't sure that he was telling the truth about his relationship with her" He knew that he was bending the truth somewhat but he was banking on Kinders not remembering exactly what he'd said "It was the first we'd heard about what he'd been saying and with hindsight I should have realised that there was something going on with him, but I didn't want to brand him a liar in front of the lads, even though maybe I should have. 'Could have', 'should have' and 'would have' won't make any difference now, it's far too late, so we need to just put it behind us and move on"

"Yes Sir. I'll tell the lads, shall I?" he hesitated "and congratulations Sir, I hope you'll be very happy"

"Yes, good idea, tell them and thank you, I'm sure we will"

Charles waited till the other man had left, brimming with his desire to go and feed the gossip machine and then rubbed his hands through the hair on the back of his head as he wondered what the hell he'd just done. It wasn't that it wasn't what he wanted, it was, but he wasn't sure that telling Kinders before asking Molly was the brightest move he'd ever made. When Kinders had said that he didn't know that he was engaged, he couldn't help thinking Oh shit, she doesn't know either.

og..og…og…og…og…og…og

"Grandpop" A very loud excited yell announced the presence of a small brown haired tornado that shot into the kitchen to be swept up in a bear hug by Martin, followed by a beaming Charles.

"Samuel" He was equally loud and excited, mimicking the tone of Sam's voice.

"Come and give your Nana a kiss as well Sammy" Sam hugged Beth and then caught sight of Molly sitting at the table.

"Who's that, Daddy?"

"That's Molly, a friend of mine"

"Is she your girlfriend Daddy?"

"What do you know about girlfriends, Scamp?"

"I've got a girlfriend at school" Sam was totally straight faced as he talked to his father and Martin muttered "I sincerely hope not" while Beth pulled a warning face at her husband.

"Mummy's got a boyfriend, he's called Lawrence" There was complete silence as they all looked at each other "But I wasn't supposed to say, it's a secret"

"Well that was a conversation stopper if ever I've heard one" Martin smirked at no-one in particular, and Molly bit her lip trying not to laugh at him.

Charles was the first to recover as he hugged Sam who was looking a bit worried that he had said something he shouldn't.

"Never mind Scamp, let's get ready and go out"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

They were sitting in his car outside her flat in Epsom, reluctant to part. No-one had mentioned Sam's bombshell but Charles couldn't help the little spark of anticipation that was building in him. If Rebecca got re-married, his financial commitments to her would dramatically change. Obviously he would still be responsible for Sam, but the mortgage on the family home would cease to be his responsibility and, in fact, she would owe him 50% of the value of the house. He knew it was early days but he couldn't help hoping, which seemed like a strange thing to be doing about someone who was once so central to his life.

"Are you coming in?"

"I don't know, will I get eaten alive?"

Molly giggled "If that's what turns you on"

"Now who's being a pervert?" He smirked at her "I was talking about Suzie, but on the other hand I'm open to suggestions …..….. You won't forget to ring the Education branch, will you? If my wife wants to go to Birmingham we have to do everything we can to get her there"

He held his breath as he waited to see whether she would notice and if she did how she'd respond. There was a long pause as Molly obviously thought about what he'd said.

"Was that a proposal?"

"If you say yes, then it was, if you say no, then it wasn't"

"Coward"

"I know. Listen, I want you to be the last thing I see every night and the first thing I see every morning"

"I'd better say yes then hadn't I?"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: Thank you for your kind reviews. There is still a little way to go, so hope that you carry on enjoying the journey**


	18. Chapter 18

"I don't believe that you two are listening to a word I'm saying, don't you know it's less than three weeks to this blessed wedding and there are all sorts of things to sort out?"

"Stop worrying Mum, it'll be fine"

"Sorry Beth"

Molly and Charles both spoke at the same time as Molly redoubled her efforts to give all her attention to what Beth was saying, a task that was being made impossible by Charles' fingers inching their way up her thigh under cover of the table. She put her hand down to stop his wandering hand going any further whereupon it was immediately grabbed by his hand and moved to his groin and held where she could feel what was happening to him. Beth was still talking about menus and drinks and table plans and neither of them were taking in a word of what she was saying, although they were both gazing at her with rapt attention. Molly took the opportunity of Beth getting up to find some vital piece of paper to mouth "Stop it" at Charles but he just gave her a wicked smirk, bit his lip and shook his head.

Their opportunity to escape came when Beth went off into the study still looking for her essential piece of paper, and Charles yanked Molly to her feet calling "We'll do this later, Mum" and pulled her up the stairs, with Molly protesting every inch of the way, she felt they were being unforgivably rude.

"You know that was bloody rude, don't you? Your poor mum must be so embarrassed"

"No, me taking your clothes off in the kitchen in front of her would have been embarrassing and that was rapidly becoming a distinct possibility" He laughed as he began to undress her "Anyway if I'd stayed there much longer I wouldn't have been able to get up without making an exhibition of myself, let alone walk"

"Whose fault's that?

"Definitely yours" He began to kiss a trail down her body from the hollow at the base of her throat. "God, I've missed you, it feels like months since I've seen you, not just a week"

"I know, I've missed you too"

The last year and a half since they'd got engaged had been frantically busy and stressful for Molly, what with working and studying, trying to help Beth plan the wedding and what had become her main priority which was making time to spend with Charles. They had snatched time in Epsom when Suzie was out, something that was happening more and more, and blissful weekends in Bath and the high spot of two weeks in Italy but it never felt like enough, not for either of them. They still hadn't decided where they were going to be based after the wedding, there didn't seem to be much point in making a base in Aldershot or Farnham or somewhere like that if Molly was going to spend the next three years spending most of her time in Birmingham and Birmingham was too far from Pirbright for Charles to commute. It was too far at the moment for Molly to commute to Headley, especially bearing in mind the long shifts they all worked and the fact that she couldn't drive.

She had lost sight now of the reasons she had wanted to get the exams and to go on to study for a degree, she had detested studying every night and had begun to wonder what the hell she would be letting herself in for if she went to Birmingham, although she had to wait another six weeks for the GCSE results. She felt like she had done okay, and if she had, she wondered now if that would be enough, if she could prove to the world, or at least to her family and friends on Facebook that 'See, Molly Dawes isn't as thick as shit like you all thought'.

Charles had dropped asleep, and she gently stroked his hair off his face and smiled at his satisfied expression as she watched him sleep. He had regained all his previous fitness and had put back the weight he had lost after he was shot and she couldn't help wondering sometimes how the hell she'd got this lucky. He was totally gorgeous to look at, had a wonderful body, was shit-hot in bed and had a wicked sense of humour, and best of all he seemed to love her every bit as much as she loved him and in three weeks' time they were going to stand up in front of everyone and promise to love each other for ever. She was so happy she was a bit scared.

She carefully got off the bed, making sure she didn't wake him, got dressed and made her way downstairs to make her peace with Beth. To say she was embarrassed would be an understatement.

"I'm so sorry, Beth, that was very rude of us"

"Nonsense, I'm the one who should be sorry, of course you wanted to be alone, you haven't seen each other all week, I was being very thoughtless. Now, where's that son of mine?"

"Asleep"

"Typical, just like his father"

They both got a fit of the giggles as Beth made a cup of tea and asked whether Molly could bear to go through some of the stuff with her. Molly had felt very uncomfortable that all the arrangements and decisions had been left to Beth; she knew that Belinda was no use at all, but Charles had said that his mum was in her element. She hadn't been allowed to get involved in his first wedding, Rebecca's parents had done it all and Rebecca, or the icicle in a bra and pants, as Martin called her, had made it very plain that she didn't want any help from Beth. Molly hadn't had much time to organise stuff and she knew that Beth would do it all much better than she could anyway so her most repeated answer to any question was "whatever Beth says" or, if it was Beth asking the question "you choose".

"So, your mum, your grandmother and your two sisters will come and stay the night before and the night after, is that all still okay?"

"Yeah, it's really good of you Beth, to put them all up like this"

"Nonsense, least I can do, they won't want to go to a hotel" she hesitated "Any sign of your father changing his mind and coming?"

"No don't expect him to. He ain't shown up for anything that was important to me for…." Molly paused "Well never really and if he did come he'd only get pissed and spoil it for everyone else, so it's probably best he don't come"

"So you still want Martin to give you away?"

"Yeah, if he doesn't mind"

Beth thought how horribly sad that it all was, she knew Charles hadn't even met the elusive Mr Dawes and she wondered how any father could allow his daughter to marry a complete stranger without even bothering to check him out. She patted Molly's hand, reassured her that Martin was looking forward to it and then thought it best not to discuss it any further and run the risk of upsetting her.

"Now, Charles tells me that you said Sammy could wear his jeans and because Sam's wearing jeans you said he could as well, and that you may even wear a West Ham football shirt, please tell me he's winding me up"

"Course he's winding you up, I said Sam could wear his jeans if he wanted cos he wants to look cool and frilly shirts 'n that don't look cool he says but I never said Charles could wear 'em and I ain't wearing a football shirt, West Ham or not"

"Are you talking about me?" Charles appeared in the kitchen and kissed the top of Molly's head "Where did you get to?"

"You was snoring"

"I don't snore"

"Well I don't know who that was in our bed then if it weren't you, and I never said you could wear jeans to our wedding, you'll wear your bleeding suit and like it"

"That's not fair, if Sam can wear his jeans why have I got to dress up as a commissionaire for the day"

"Cos you're the grown-up, so tough"

"That's debatable and you're not too big for a clip round the ear you know" His mother made a mock swipe at him as Charles pretended to cower away from her "Now make yourself useful and look at that table plan and make sure that none of your friends are sitting with someone they hate, I had to guess"

"I don't give a shit, even if they all hate each other they can put up with it for one day"

"You get more like your father every day"

They went through all the essential arrangements with Molly and Charles happily rubber stamping all Beth's decisions, Molly because she honestly believed that Beth knew best and Charles because he didn't really give a shit about the details, he just wanted to get married, a small do in a Registry Office with just the two of them would have done the job just as well in his opinion, until after supper when they got to discussing the booze Martin was suggesting for the day.

"Not sure I like champagne" Charles looked at his father, who looked at Molly with his eyebrows raised as a question mark.

"Molly?"

"I don't think I've ever had it, not real champagne" she looked at Charles "Why don't you like it?"

"It drains all the moisture out of your eyeballs and all the sense out of your brain and stops your legs working" he laughed "and it gives you a killer bloody hangover the next day"

"That's because you're supposed to sip it, not neck it" Martin laughed and shook his head "I don't know where you get it from"

"I do" Beth muttered as she cleared the table.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

"Do you think your dad's alright in there with Nan?"

"Yes I do, stop worrying about everyone"

"Can't 'elp it"

Martin and Nan were sitting at the kitchen table demolishing a bottle of brandy and winding each other up and Molly was worried that Nan wouldn't know when to say "whoa" and would need carrying up to bed, while Belinda and the girls were in the lounge eating chocolates and drinking coffee with Beth. They had been over-awed when they first saw the house, except for Nan who seemed impervious, and Molly had suddenly worried that they thought she was marrying Charles as some sort of meal ticket. Jade had said something like 'You've done well for yourself haven't you?" which made Molly feel like a gold digger. She was so used to the house that she'd forgotten what it would look like to the rest of her family, she was just glad that Dave wasn't there, he would probably have tapped Martin for a tenner.

She had realised earlier today just how far away from her family she had moved, how different this all was to her little girl's dream of her wedding, going to church to marry her prince from the flat in east Ham on her father's arm wearing a white sparkly meringue and how sad it was that all that had just disappeared, not that she would change anything that was about to happen, it was just sad.

"You nervous about tomorrow?"

"Bricking it, aren't you?"

"Yep"

"You won't do a runner will you and leave me standing there all dressed up like some prannet from a Sunday night thing off the tele, I mean you will show up, won't you?"

"Of course I'll show up" Charles pulled her arms round his neck and looped his own arms round her waist.

"You'd better, otherwise I'll have to find you and kill you"

"I'll show up, but what about you, are you going to leave me standing there on my own looking like a doorman from a posh hotel?"

"Maybe"

"Oh no, not fucking 'maybe' again" There was a long pause while Charles kissed her repeatedly, saying that he was going to carry on kissing her until she promised to show up.

"Let's go to bed early, no-one'll miss us"

"We can't, Beth says we can't sleep together tonight, its tradition or bad luck or something"

"Sod that, I don't give a stuff about tradition and old wives tales or any of that crap, come on…."

"What if Beth's right and it's bad luck?"

"Molly?"

"What?"

"Shut the fuck up"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: So, onto the wedding next.**

**Hope you enjoyed this. I am so grateful for your kind reviews, and that you are enjoying reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it. **


	19. Chapter 19

**THE WEDDING DAY**

**PART ONE**

Molly woke before 6.00 and hopped out of bed to open the curtains and check the weather, she'd had a vivid dream that it was pissing down which would cause all sorts of problems, but it was a beautiful hazy June morning and the sun was just coming up while the butterflies in her stomach started to do a tango.

"Come back to bed, it's too early to get up"

"I know, but I had a dream it was raining and I needed to check"

"It's going to be perfect, it doesn't matter whether it's raining or not, and it's not going to rain, Lady Luck's on our side"

"Thought you didn't believe in all that, you called it crap last night"

"Last night was different" he laughed "and I don't…..well maybe just a bit, sometimes, and Lady Luck bought me you"

"No she bloody didn't, a crap driver at a FOB did that and you couldn't call that lucky"

"Do you want a cuppa?"

"Yes please. I wonder if anyone else is up yet."

"Not if they've got any bloody sense" Charles grumbled as he got up and pulled on his T shirt and jeans, "It's going to be a very long day if you get up now and you don't want to be knackered before we get to church. Maybe have a drink and then try and get back to sleep"

"Is that me or you?

"Both?"

It was full daylight when Molly surfaced again to the sounds of men working outside in the garden and a stone cold cup of tea on the bedside table; there was no sign of Charles. As she lay contemplating getting up for some breakfast, he arrived and immediately started pretending to grumble.

"Hope you're not going to make a habit of this, Mrs James"

"I'm not Mrs James yet and make a habit of what?"

"I'm just practising for later and a habit of making me get up to make you tea then going back to sleep without drinking it leaving me wide awake"

"Sorry"

"Just don't make a habit of it"

"Bossy sod"

He leaned across and kissed the tip of her nose, "Mum wants to know whether you want some breakfast"

"Yeah, I'm bleeding starving. Where is your mum?"

"Sergeant Major James is outside haranguing the blokes putting up the marquee, she's going to cause a fucking mutiny in a minute so I'm staying out of the way otherwise she'll have me doing it"

"Coward and don't ask her to get me breakfast, ask me Mum or me Nan, or do it yourself, but don't ask your mum"

"I'll do it, what do you want, cornflakes or coco pops?"

"No, I want pancakes and bacon and maple syrup if we've got any"

"No chance, lady"

Molly got up to go and make her own pancakes; it was one of the few dishes she and Suzie had mastered when they had first moved into the flat.

"Where's me Nan, is she still alive?"

"Yep, she seems to be fighting fit, my Dad on the other hand probably wishes he was dead"

"Where is he?" Molly started giggling.

"Pretending to read the paper and nursing an impressive hangover, oh and hiding from my mum, she's not best pleased with him. Nan tells me that she doesn't get a hangover from Brandy, I bet Dad wishes he could say the same"

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Of course he is, but I may wind him up in a bit about necking alcohol"

"Where's me Nan, now?"

"In the Drawing Room"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og...og

"You're a bleeding disgrace" Molly wagged her finger at her grandmother and laughed "What did you do to Martin last night?"

"He's a good'un that Martin, and there ain't many of them about any more, I mean you've just taken one of them off the market, he's a good'un too, and you don't get many of them to the pound these days, mores the pity. Now his dad's more my weight so I've told that Beth that she can throw him my way any time she gets fed up of him"

"Nan!"

"Now, where'd you get to last night?" Nan held her hand up "No, don't tell me, I don't wanna know, whatever 'appened to It being bad luck 'n that? It was different in my day; we waited till we had the bleeding ring on our finger"

"No you bloody didn't" Molly laughed incredulously at her grandmother's straight faced outright lying.

"Well maybe I should have then I wouldn't have been forced to marry your granddad at all, could have waited for me own good'un"

"Then you wouldn't have had Mum or me or the rest of the little bleeders"

"There is that I s'pose" Nan didn't look or sound entirely convinced "Now, this wedding?"

"Yes Nan, mywedding"

"What's gonna be 'appening till it kicks off this afternoon?"

"Some girl's coming to do our 'air in a bit, and me nails 'n that, to make us all beautiful"

"What, mine as well? and you're already beautiful. He's a lucky bastard Molls, I hope he realises that. I always said that the bloke what got you was gonna be a really lucky one"

"Of course she gonna do your 'air as well, and he does, he really loves me, Nan"

"So he bleeding well should. Now, where's he hiding himself, this prince of yours?"

"He's hiding from his mum" Molly started to giggle "she's a bit stressy and his dad's hiding too, but that's because he's dying from the booze you poured down him last night and Beth's not exactly thrilled with him"

Molly wandered off to see if she could find Belinda, Jade and Bella and finally tracked them down in the marquee where it looked as though they'd been press ganged into polishing glasses and laying tables by Beth. Molly had no idea what the urgency was, it was barely 9.30 in the morning and the wedding didn't start until 3.00, but she decided that it probably wasn't the best idea to tell Beth to chill a bit, so she called 'morning' and waved apologetically to her family and, ignoring the girls' beseeching glares, wandered back to Nan. She was far too restless to help in the marquee.

"You know your Dad?"

"Yeah, I vaguely remember 'im"

"I reckon he's gone too far this time, I fink your mum's 'ad about enough of 'is bollocks, she says she's gonna sort 'im when she gets back"

"Yeah, I've 'eard that before. She told me he couldn't come today cos he needed to stop at home and look after the boys, but bloody hell Nan, does she think I'm thick or what? I invited the boys, I invited all of you, it weren't my idea that the boys should stop at home. Why does mum always have to lie to try and cover for 'im?"

"Cos she knows he needs her"

"He needs her?" Molly looked at the serious expression on Nan's face "It's the other way round, innit?"

"Course 'e does, he'd be nothing without your mum and 'e knows it, but as I said, this time he went too far, not only missing the wedding 'imself, obstinate old wanker, but telling Belinda that none of them could come, not her, not the girls nor the boys neither. Your mum wouldn't have it, she would have bought the boys wiv her as well if she'd had enough time and cash to get 'em something decent to wear, and she reckons that if he kicks off when she gets home, she's gonna kick him out. Not before time, if you ask me, but I'll believe it when I see it, he'll back down if he finks she means it, you'll see"

"Oh, Nan, you will let me know won't you? And I would have paid for the boys clothes if she'd told me, you know I would"

"Course you would've, but sometimes we don't wanna ask our kids for things and I fink she was scared you'd have to ask your Charles for it"

"No Nan, I earn my own money, what, she thinks I work for the army for nothing?" Molly had a sudden thought "Did she pay for the train tickets or did you?"

"I did of course, your mum doesn't have that sort of money"

"I'll pay you back and stop shaking your 'ead, you've only got your pension and the tickets cost a small fortune, I should know, I've bought enough of 'em"

"Where's that mate of yours, that Suzie?" Nan looked around as if Suzie had been hiding behind the door "I would have fought as how she'd be your bridesmaid as well as the girls"

"I wanted her to, I asked her to, but she wouldn't do it, said she'd look like a totem pole seeing as how I and the girls are tiddly and she's a bit tall" Molly shrugged "She's got a bit of a thing about being too tall. Anyhow, she's coming and bringing her new bloke" Molly laughed "She reckons he's a tool, but I think she's lying, I hope so anyway"

Suzie had given up internet dating, she'd said that all the blokes she'd met had been 'boring fuckers' or weirdos who still lived with their mums, Charles had yelped 'Oi' so the two girls had spent all one rather wine soaked evening in Epsom trying to explain her new policy of 'going ugly early' to a totally bemused Charles. Molly had explained that usually at parties the good-looking blokes, "The ones like you" Suzie had pointed and slurred at Charles as Molly said "shut yer gob" in an equally slurred voice, got all the girls hanging around them and she was sick of competing for attention against titchy girls with yards of hair and very short skirts, like Molly, when she was a fucking bean pole with short hair who was also a bleeding soldier, so she no longer bothered with the handsome ones, but went straight for one of the also-rans or even the downright ugly ones, because they were usually bloody grateful. At which point the two girls had fallen about laughing and Charles had seen what a formidable pair they could be and just how devastating attractive Molly would be if she went to a party "on the pull" as the girls put it. Neil was the result of this new strategy and Molly had already warned Charles on pain of something extremely uncomfortable to be extra nice to them. He'd said he wouldn't dare be anything else, Suzie was like a Rottweiler who'd been stung by a wasp and she terrified him.

Molly had put a lot of pressure on Charles to invite the lads from 2 section, saying that Charles had been close to them until the balls up with her and Smurf and that she felt responsible and it was time they put it to bed and let it go and that it would make her happy to see them all friends again. In the end Charles had capitulated and invited them, actually thinking that they probably wouldn't accept, it was a rare weekend off for them and a fair distance to travel, but they'd all accepted including Kinders, a fact Charles had mixed feelings about. He'd got them all together a couple of days before his leave started and warned them that the reception was in his home and therefore 'God help anyone who makes me unhappy by trashing the place'. They'd all nodded, trying their best to look suitably innocent of ever trashing anywhere in their lives, but he knew that none of them were stupid enough to set out to make their CO unhappy.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og…og

Angie, the hair and nails girl had been and given them all a manicure and done their hair, so that they kept checking their reflections in the mirrors and any windows that they passed and admiring their own hands and she'd done the 'slap', as Nan called it, for Belinda, Beth and Nan so that they all looked like models, again, according to Nan. She'd paid special attention to doing Jade and Bella, who both loved the way they looked, neither of them had ever had a professional manicure or make up before, but then none of them had. Martin had insisted on paying for it all and Molly hated to think what it'd cost, enough for him to have to use his American Express anyway, which, Charles had told her, was what he used when a bill was unexpectedly huge. When she mentioned her concern to Beth, Beth had said "it's the least he can do" in the sort of voice that told Molly that she hadn't forgiven him yet. Molly loved her hair, glossy ringlets in a Pride and Prejudice type updo threaded with small white flowers and pearls, but she was the only one who wanted to do her own make-up. She hated the 'made-up' feeling on her face, she just wanted to do her eyes, and add a bit of lippy, not feel caked with loads of foundation and blusher and powder and stuff.

Angie had gone and Charles had disappeared to his best man's house, well actually his parent's house, which was further round the Crescent. Rory and Charles had been friends since they'd been at Kindergarten together. Their friendship had survived, almost unscathed, through boarding school, University, the Army and Charles' marriage to Rebecca which had been followed by Rory's to Sue, which was still going strong. Molly had been a bit worried that Rory had been Charles' best man before, but he'd reassured her that Rory was nowhere near posh enough for Rebecca and that he hadn't liked her much so he couldn't be relied on to make an appropriate speech.

"How can we rely on him this time?"

"Because he likes you, a lot, and anyway Sue'd bloody kill him"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og…og

The house was completely silent, everyone except Martin, who was waiting in the hall and the caterers who were out in the marquee, had gone to the church. Molly looked at herself in the full length mirror in Beth's dressing room and checked her appearance for the umpteenth time since Nan had buttoned the tiny pearl buttons down her back; Belinda had started doing it and had burst into tears smudging her eye make-up so that Nan had taken over while Belinda repaired the damage.

Belinda and Beth had both chosen pink but luckily they didn't clash and Nan was wearing pale blue; all three of them were wearing hats and high heels, something they were likely to regret as it was baking hot. The girls looked incredible in dresses which were a mirror image of the one Molly was wearing, only in a red wine shade which really suited their dark colouring. As Molly'd said to Charles, she looked like a Sunday night tele heroine from a Jane Austen film. Her dress was simple, scoop necked and empire line in ivory silk, without any of the frills and flouncy embroidered bits she'd favoured when she'd first tried dresses on. She'd quickly found that they'd made her look like a squat midget or a lampshade someone had sat on. She knew the dress suited her, but she had butterflies doing the foxtrot now as she wondered whether she needed another pee before she went.

Martin smiled at her and told her that she looked gorgeous and just how lucky he thought his son was as he handed her the small spray of flowers that had been kept in the fridge.

"Thanks, you look a bit better yourself than you did earlier" Molly giggled as she breathed in the sweet fragrance of the small spray of very pale pearly pink rosebuds and white sweet peas as Martin opened the front door onto a blisteringly hot, silent June afternoon, with dust motes dancing in the air as they set off to walk to the end of the Crescent where the wedding car was waiting. Molly had wanted to wear killer heels to make the height difference between her and Charles less extreme but she was glad now that she hadn't; walking in this heat on the cobbles would have mean that she was most likely going to be hobbling long before she even got to church. She was glad to get in the car, because she was just beginning to worry that she would be all hot and sweaty before long and she was gladder than ever that she wasn't wearing tons of slap, it would have melted by now.

Martin found a bottle of icy cold water and a couple of plastic glasses in the bar in the back of the wedding car, which they shared with gratitude to the limo company, Molly because her mouth was dry with the heat and her nerves, and Martin because he was incredibly dehydrated.

The women were waiting outside the church and Belinda immediately started welling up again as she saw Molly.

"Mum, pack that in, you'll start me off in a minute" Molly smiled at her mother and then noticed Beth was getting tearful as well "And that goes for you too Beth, this is supposed to be a happy day, innit?" She thought for a minute "He is 'ere isn't 'e?"

"Of course he's here"

As the two mothers and her grandmother went into church, Molly's nerves started to go a bit as she turned to her two younger sisters, grinned and said "Come on girls, let's show 'em how to do it," looped her arm through Martin's and led her sisters into the porch of the church where they could hear "Here comes the bride" beginning to play and she was overwhelmed by an incredible sense of excitement as she walked into the church.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: I know it's a bit long but I wanted to paint the picture I saw in my head for everyone else and it is the most important day of their lives (so far) so I didn't want to skimp it.**

**I hope you enjoy it.**


	20. Chapter 20

**PART TWO**

The congregation stood as Molly and Martin made their way into the church to the strains of the wedding march, and Molly could hear and sense them all murmuring and straining to look at her as she walked slowly by. There wasn't a huge congregation, some family, a few friends from Charles' Sandhurst days and a couple from University, some local friends and of course, 2 section, and a number of Molly's friends and colleagues from Headley, a couple from her days in basic training and Bastion, including Jackie and Suzie, of course, but none of her pre-army friends. She didn't notice any one person individually. She was mesmerised by the tall dark haired man in the pale grey morning suit who had turned round to watch her, against all the rules the vicar had explained to them at length at the rehearsal, with the most incredibly happy grin on his face, a grin she had first seen in an Italian restaurant in Epsom, a grin that spelled deep joy at what was happening and one that she knew was mirrored on her own face. She saw Rory pluck at his sleeve and tell him something, gesturing with his head towards the vicar, and she saw Charles shrug slightly and then totally ignore whatever was being said.

He'd known that she'd arrived, Rory had nudged him to tell him that his mum had come into church and had sat in the pew behind them signalling the arrival of the bride, so by the time the organist stopped playing the soft background music and crashed the first chords of the wedding march he was already turned towards the back of the church full of anticipation. His first glimpse made his breath catch in his throat, she was so tiny and dainty and so utterly beautiful that he was filled with a stomach churning feeling of tenderness towards her. He hadn't been worried for a second that she wouldn't turn up, he knew that she adored him as much as he adored her, the only thing he was slightly nervous about was his father's corpse like pale face as he walked with her. For the first time in his life he'd agreed with his mum when she had hissed at his father that if he did anything to spoil the day, she'd never forgive him.

He stepped forward to meet her and before she could even turn and pass her flowers to Bella, he broke the rules again by bending down to kiss her on the cheek murmuring "You look amazing" She heard a small ripple of a murmur pass through the congregation as they turned to face the vicar, who shook his head slightly at Charles, a bit like he was admonishing a naughty choirboy who had been caught chewing gum. Charles took no notice whatsoever. The vicar waited for the congregation to settle and to go silent and for Martin and the girls to sit down before he started the service.

"_The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Love of God,_

_and the Fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you"_

Molly felt Charles knuckles brush against the back of her hand as the vicar began the service and she knew that he was trying to reassure her in case she was still nervous, or bricking it as she'd put it, but she wasn't, she was on a huge high of excited anticipation and happiness, as she heard the response from their friends and family, _"and also with you"_

There was a prayer then everyone sang _"Lead us Heavenly Father, Lead us_" the singing slightly ragged and thready from the congregation but beautiful from the choir; then the vicar was off.

"_In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,_

_we have come together to witness the marriage_

_Of Molly and Charles_

_To share their joy and to celebrate their love" _

Try as she might, Molly was finding it very difficult to listen and to take in every word he was saying, she couldn't help concentrating on remembering what she was going to say when it came to the vows and she hadn't realised how much he would be going on. She was sure that he hadn't gone through all this during the rehearsal, he had done a lot of "and so on" and "so forth" but she was sure he hadn't mentioned this much God squad stuff. She was listening out for him to mention her name, she didn't want to be caught daydreaming and had had a moment's worry when he asked whether anyone knew of a reason they shouldn't marry, hoping that no-one, especially the khaki clad piss takers at the back would think it was funny to say something, Charles would never forgive them, or probably her for insisting he should invite them.

Then they were onto the vows and he asked Charles first , Charles' voice sounding unexpectedly loud as he said "_I will" _and hers sounded slightly croaky as she said the same thing, the congregation murmuring quietly on their turn.

They were back into prayers and bits from the bible and another hymn as Molly got more and more nervous at the thought of speaking the vows out loud, the ones she had laboured long and hard to write and had practised endlessly with Suzie, who had sometimes helped and occasionally taken the piss, so that now she almost wished they'd done the traditional "Love, honour and obey" bit. Okay maybe not "obey" but the rest of it was looking easier by the minute. The vicar told them to turn to each other and to hold hands as he told Charles to start.

"_Molly, I promise to always love you the way I do today and from the very first time I met you when you called me mate as you looked after me. You became my best friend and my one true love and I promise that I will always remember how lucky I am that you were the one looking after me that day, and how kind you were to me and indeed how kind you are to everyone who needs your help and I promise that I won't get jealous when you help them. I promise to look after you, when you'll let me, and to remember how we laugh together and how loyal you are and the way you always believe in me and I promise to always think of WE and not ME. I told you once that I wanted your face to be the last thing I see every night and the first thing I see every morning and I mean that as much today as I did then and I know that I will mean that for the rest of my life. You know me better than anyone else in the world and yet somehow you still manage to love me, and that today is the happiest day of my life._

"_Charles, I've loved you since the first time I met you in Afghanistan, when you 'ad two black eyes and an 'orrible 'eadache and I haven't stopped loving you since that day. I'll never forget that you're my best friend and that you look after me and encourage me to carry on trying when I want to give up and you believe in me even when I stop believing in myself. You make me laugh, even at myself sometimes, and I promise to always share my doubts and worries with you, as well as when things are magic. You are the one love of my life and you make me happier than I ever thought possible and I promise that even if the army sends you somewhere horribly dangerous I won't freak, even with your track record, and that I'll send you off with a smile and that I'll always be waiting for you when you come home. _

They let go of each other's hands as the vicar nodded at Sam as he carefully walked to the altar carrying the rings on a small red cushion, a look of deep concentration on his face as he took his responsibility very seriously. Charles smiled down at his son as the vicar took the rings and got ready to bless them but Molly went one step further and beckoned Sam over for a kiss, she reckoned that if Charles could break the rules, so could she and it was worth it to see Sam's face break into a wide grin like his father's.

_Heavenly Father by your blessing let these rings…_

The vicar blessed the rings and then motioned to Charles to place the tiny ring on her finger as he repeated the vow

_Molly, I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage, with my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you and all that I have I share with you within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy spirit_

Molly could hear some female sniffling as she took the much larger ring to slip it on Charles' finger then had some difficulty sliding it over his knuckle, she was pretty sure it was Belinda who was sniffling, but it could be Beth as well, or Nan, although she doubted that. She finally managed to get the ring on, although she wasn't sure that he'd ever be able get it off again, then repeated the same vow to Charles.

The vicar then pronounced them to be man and wife and there was fresh crying from the female members of the congregation, this time Molly was pretty sure it did include Beth, and the vicar made his final pronouncement about no-one putting them asunder and Charles was allowed to kiss her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently and tenderly, then almost made her giggle by giving her the most wicked wink. The last couple of prayers flew by as they relaxed, ending with the Lord's Prayer and the vicar blessing the congregation and then there they were, married, with their families, their best man and the bridesmaids signing the register ready to walk back down the aisle. It was over or, as Charles whispered to Molly, "a done deal, too late to escape now" She was tempted to kick him, but decided that it wasn't very bride-like so smiled sweetly and said "later"

The walk back down the aisle felt almost unreal to both of them, lots of gloriously happy smiling faces and friends calling for their attention and waving and trying to touch them as they went past and all the time the wonderful feeling of holding onto each other's hand as they walked towards the bright sunshine and late afternoon heat of the outside world framed by the heavy church doorway.

The photographer was more than slightly camp which added to the general laughter, as he insisted that everyone said _sex_ instead of cheese for the smiley shots, something that made most people smile politely, or snigger in the case of 2 section, and, unfortunately the bridesmaids. Molly made a mental note to get Charles to warn them off the girls, nice enough lads they might be, but far too old and these were _her sisters, _ way out of bounds for fuck's sake.

Then finally, in a shower of forbidden rose petals, something else to tick the vicar off, they were in the back of the wedding car grinning goofy grins at each other as Charles kissed her lightly.

"Can you believe that we actually did it?"

"Yeah we did, didn't we?" Molly felt as if she would never stop smiling.

"He was a bit of a tit though wasn't he"

"Charles!"

"Well, he was" He thought for a minute "I don't remember that much religious stuff when we did the rehearsal do you?"

"Well yeah, he did seem to go on a bit I s'pose, but you pissed him off when you didn't do as you was told, you know, to keep looking at him, not at me"

"It was our wedding not his, I didn't want to look at him, I wanted to look at you" He grinned as he opened the mini bar in the back of the wedding car "Shall we open this?" he proffered a half bottle of champagne.

"I'd better not, I didn't have any lunch, I don't wanna be falling down trollied before we start"

"No, I didn't have anything either, so, shall we have water instead Mrs. James?"

"God, we're bleeding light-weight aren't we?"

og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: Sorry about the delay in uploading part two, managed to be taken poorly needing a late night dash to hospital, (I do love a bit of drama, me) but have now been sent home with instructions to take things easy (as if I needed telling twice, any excuse), so hopefully part three will follow shortly. **

**Hope you enjoyed this, please review for me as it was quite difficult to write, trying to keep the balance between a solemn ceremony and entertainment.**


	21. Chapter 21

The wedding party had congregated at the top of the Crescent, as per Beth's instructions, so that Molly and Charles led the way to the house, where the waiting staff stood just inside the open doorway with glasses of chilled prosecco on silver salvers. Molly loved it, it was all so Sunday night tele, but Charles reckoned it was just his mum showing off to the neighbours, especially those that hadn't scored an invitation. It was still blisteringly hot and most of them couldn't wait to get into the cool of the house, get something cold to drink and to go through to the garden, while Nan was complaining bitterly that she couldn't wait to get her shoes off, her bunions were giving her gyp. Most of the women had removed their hats and Belinda and Beth were both using theirs as makeshift fans while Martin was finally beginning to look as if he had re-joined the land of human beings, although he was far from being forgiven by his nearest and dearest.

They had decided not to bother with a 'receiving line' as such, it wasn't going to be that sort of formal reception, and the waiters were just waiting for the signal to bring the savoury part of the buffet through. It had been decided to wait until the last moment because it was so hot and most of the food was being kept fresh in the fridge or in cool boxes so that it didn't spoil.

Molly and Charles circulated while holding hands and sticking like glue to each other, neither of them ready to let go of the other just yet as they chatted to friends, some of whom they hadn't seen for ages. Charles was very aware that Molly had almost no relatives present, so he was desperately making sure that they spoke to her friends as much as possible, leaving his gushy relations until later, so that Jackie was the first person they got to speak to. Molly hadn't actually seen her face to face, they e-mailed continually, since they'd shared accommodation and a sense of humour at Bastion. Jackie teased her that when she'd said that the Rupert in the crash was one of the good guys, she hadn't been suggesting that she should _marry_ him for Chrissakes, so that Molly had replied with a giggle and "Sorry, got that wrong then, didn't I?" which made Charles go "Oi".

Suzie and Neil looked very much a couple although Suzie whispered that he was still a knob even if he did scrub up well so that Molly teased her saying "It'll be your turn next then" just to watch her blush, although for some reason it dawned on her that it didn't actually look that unlikely from where she was standing, there was something about the way they looked together. As they stood and chatted with Suzie and Neil they were joined by the raucous gang that was 2 section. The banter was, to Molly's sensitive ears, a bit forced, as if the shadow of what had happened with Smurf still cast a blight over things. Charles seemed just a little bit stand-offish and not entirely comfortable, probably indiscernible unless you knew him really well, but the tell-tale rubbing of his hand over the back of his neck told her all she wanted to know. She was beginning to regret the "fairy tale wedding" bubble that had made her persuade him to invite them.

Rescue came in the form of Nan, always one to tune into awkward or embarrassed vibes, even from a distance.

"Come on Molls, don't be selfish, you've already got yours, so share these others with the rest of us" She patted Fingers on the arm "I'm Molly's Nan, fellas. You can call me Marge, but just for today" She patted his arm again "What do they call you then?"

There was a great deal of ribald laughter from the rest of the section and one or two muttered suggestions which prompted Kinders to exclaim sharply that it was a family occasion, before Fingers gave his name to Nan.

"Fingers?" Nan snorted "What sort of bleeding silly name is that?" This was followed by a positive orgy of introductions with lots of teasing and Brains showing how he came by his nickname by putting his arm round Nan and insisting that she couldn't possibly be Molly's Nan, she was far too young, but was maybe an older sister, prompting lots of mock gagging and requests for the sick bucket. Nan patted his arm and said "Nonsense, this one's got his 'ead on straight and if I was twenty years younger….." She looked carefully at Brains "Okay, maybe ten" which made everyone laugh as she turned to Charles.

"Oi, are we gonna get bleedin' fed or what, if we wait much longer we'll all be falling down plastered"

She was giving them a chance to escape a potentially uncomfortable situation, but they knew she had a point, the volume level in the marquee had risen in direct relation to the number of bottles that had been opened.

"You're right Nan, I'll go and give them the nod" Charles started to walk towards the house taking Molly with him so that she could whisper "You okay?" He nodded then put his arm out to catch hold of the whirlwind that was Sam as he tore past them.

"Oi, oi, slow down Scamp, what are you doing?"

"Getting her a drink" he waved excitedly and vaguely in Belinda's direction.

"Do you mean Molly's mum?" Charles shook his head at Sam "What are you getting her?" he had visions of Sam asking the waiter for a glass of fizzy wine and then sampling it as he took it back to Belinda. Molly shook her head at him, knowing exactly what was going through his head, her mum had more experience with kids than he'd ever have. Charles mouthed "Sorry" as Sam explained, full of self-importance at the mission he'd been tasked with, that he was getting a glass of water with _loads_ of ice.

"Well just be careful, okay, carry it slowly with two hands, you don't want to spill it on anyone" he patted Sam's head as the little boy was already poised to dash off again "Then it'll be time to have something to eat."

Beth had pulled out all the stops for the buffet, with joints of cold meats and quiches and pies and a poached salmon, together with a huge variety of salads and French bread together with an array of dressings and relishes and because it had been in the fridge till the last moment it was all completely fresh, even the butter pats hadn't turned to oil slicks. The guests fell on it as if they hadn't eaten for a month, which Molly was relieved to see as it was soaking up some of the alcohol, however she had the feeling that Beth had over-catered somewhat.

"Wow" Molly looked at the buffet table with the caterers poised to help people to their choices "Bloody 'ell, Charles, 'ow many people does she think we're feeding 'ere?"

"Mum's used to feeding soldiers" Charles laughed "She thinks we've all got hollow legs, and we won't be living on left-overs for the next two weeks, that'll be Dad's punishment, we'll be on the beach"

The sweet part of the buffet went down equally well, with people who had declared themselves stuffed suddenly finding space for individual chocolate mousses or strawberry pavlova, or for those who really were full, fresh fruit salad.

"Oi, Scamp, how many of those have you had?" Charles laughed as Sam grinned up from his almost empty chocolate mousse ramekin and said "Not many, Daddy" his face plastered in chocolate as he attempted to lick the dish clean "Grandpop said I had to make this the last one"

"Yep, you'd better, otherwise your mum will be livid with me if you throw up in the night"

"Mummy cried this morning" Sam turned a disingenuous face to his father "She said it was cos she'd had a fight with Lawrence, but I think she was lying, I think it was cos she wasn't asked to the party. I'd be sad if I wasn't asked to the party and everyone else was" He thought for a second "Why didn't you ask her Daddy?"

"Ummm" Charles was at a complete loss as to how to explain the situation to an almost eight year old without saying something that could be misconstrued or repeated and misunderstood. Molly took Sam gently by the wrist and led him away from his father "Come on Chocolate Monster, let's go and wash your 'ands and face before you get chocolate on someone's posh frock and they freak out" She grinned at him as she held him at arm's length and successfully changed the subject as Sam giggled "And that includes mine you horror"

Most people had sat down to finish their coffee as the waiters circulated filling up the champagne glasses that had been so reluctantly polished by Bella and Jade early that morning, in one way the time had flown by and in another it seemed a lifetime ago to Molly, as Martin tapped on the side of a tumbler with a spoon to get everyone's attention.

"_Thanks to all of you for coming here today to help us celebrate. To any of you who don't know me, I'm Martin, Charles' father and I'm doing this bit because Dave, that's Molly's dad, was unable to be here with us today. Today has been a very happy day for Beth and myself, as well as for Belinda and Marge, at least I hope it has_" he smiled at them as they nodded vigorously _"Molly has very quickly become an essential part of our family, so that she has long seemed to be one of our own, as indeed she is from today on. Her sense of fun and her incredible kindness to everyone she meets made us determined that if Charles was careless enough to lose her, we were going to ask Belinda's permission to let us adopt her, or at least share her with them. _

"_We all know that Charles has been in the wars a bit in the last couple of years, as Molly said in church, his track record hasn't been great, but today is the day that changes all that, anyway he promised his mother, oh and his wife" _he grinned at Molly who smiled back_ "that he won't stand in the way of any more bullets. I'm supposed to ask you all to wish them the best of luck for the future, but I know that their happiness doesn't depend on luck, they already had that when they found each other, so I know that their lives together are going to be long and happy and I would ask you all to stand and to drink a toast to wish them all that they wish for themselves._

_Ladies and Gentlemen,_

_The Bride and Groom"_

Chares muttered "Follow that" to Molly as he stood.

_First of all let me say, on behalf of my wife and I" _he paused for the obligatory roar of approval from the guests _"Thank you to my dad for his kind words and to my mum for the small snack she organised here today, if anyone wants a doggy bag just ask. Seriously Mum, Molly and I couldn't be more grateful for everything you've done to make today so special for us, and to Molly's mum and dad, thanks for having the most beautiful daughter in the world and for letting me marry her and join your family. I know that Belinda will pass my thanks on to Dave when she gets home. I think I've already said, well just once or twice maybe, that the luckiest day of my life was way back at Camp Bastion when I met a certain medic who looked after me when I probably wasn't at my best, I won't tell you what I did, and who then totally changed my life or how we lost touch for a little while and then met up again at Headley Court. I know the place has a great reputation for rehabilitating injured soldiers, but I'll bet not many of them get as lucky as I did and get to go home with the most beautiful girl in the world, and I still can't quite believe she chose to marry me"_

"_Neither can we, Boss"_

"_Thanks for that Fingers" _There was general laughter at Charles' sarcastic tone of voice at the heckling.

"_I want to thank my Best Man, Rory, for doing a sterling job today in making sure that I turned up clean, properly dressed, well shaven, sober and on time and for organising my stag do, which I'm told I thoroughly enjoyed"_

"_You had a stag do and you didn't invite us? Why not Boss?"_

"_Mansfield?"_

"_Yes Boss?"_

"_Mike…I think you know what comes next_…." There was a pause for lots of laugher from the table housing 2 section_ "and I didn't invite any of you because I haven't got a death wish. Derek?" _

"_Yes Boss"_

"_I hope you're keeping a note of the names of these keen and eager volunteers for latrine clean duties" _Charles waited for the laughter to die down before continuing.

"_Now, where was I? Oh yes, so not only have I got myself the most gorgeous wife in the world , but our two beautiful bridesmaids today are now MY little sisters, 2 section take note, and Molly and I would like to thank them for all their help and for looking so utterly gorgeous and we hope they'll accept these little tokens as thanks" _Charles handed the two jewellery boxes containing chunky silver charm bracelets to the girls. Molly had spent hours deliberating on what to buy her sisters, in the end plumping for traditional gifts and hoping they'd like them. It had been so long since she'd spent a lot of time with them that she was a bit worried that she was out of touch with their likes and dislikes, but Nan had okayed the choice._ "So, it just remains for me to thank you all again for being here with us today and to ask you all to stand and drink a toast to_

_The Bridesmaids"_

_og…og…og…og…og…og_

_For those of you that don't know me, and looking around the room that's most of you, my name's Rory and I've known Charles since we were roughly the same height, in other words since we were at Nursery School where he was afraid to climb trees, although what with boarding school, university, and the army I've just realised I hardly know him at all, which is why we're probably still friends. He gave me lots of orders about what I could and couldn't say in my speech, he'd say he was helping but hey, he's in the army. He told me not to drink too much, a bit was okay but too much would be the worst idea I'll ever have and as I don't fancy latrine-clean duty, whatever that is, I'm glad I mostly stuck to water. He told me to be careful about the humour, that it wasn't Saturday Night Live and not to talk about previous girlfriends, which was the easiest one because I didn't know he'd had any" _Rory waited for the laughter to die down. _ "My wife Sue told me to say some nice things about him, she gave me a list, like he's tall_" Rory made an exaggerated look up at Charles' towering height advantage over him _"dark and handsome, charming, witty and clever, so that now I'm beginning to worry that I'm missing something here" _he paused waiting again for the laughter to die down.

" _Charles introduced us to Molly about a year ago and he told us right from the start that she was his girl in a million, and she told us all along that when she met Charles she'd been waiting for her Prince Charming, but as he obviously didn't show up in time she's gone and married Charles, so sorry, I hate to be the one to tell you this, Molls, but it's too __late now ….still you got a nice frock and some flowers out of it. Oh, and by the way, I know what he did when he first met her" _He paused and looked round the room _"and I'm not saying either, you'll have to ask her. And he still can't climb trees, I've known that for a fact since his stag do"_

"_It just leaves me to say that I know they're going to be very happy together, as happy as me and my wife, she dictated that bit, just as soon as he masters the most important little words of all for any husband in any marriage, 'Whatever you say, dear"_

"_Ladies and Gentlemen, please stand to drink a toast to_

_Captain and Mrs James"_

"_Oh and they're going to cut the cake now"_

_og…og…og…og…og…og…og_

They wandered out into the coolness of the garden, the sun had moved round so that the intense heat of the day had gone off as they walked hand in hand to sit on one of the benches under the trees on the edge of the manicured lawn. They were glad to be out of the stuffy heat and noise of so many people enjoying themselves, just to be alone for a few minutes, it had been an incredibly long day. Molly did as most of the females had already done and took her shoes off so that her feet were in the blissfully cool grass.

"You okay?" He stroked a stray lock of hair from her face "Are you tired?"

"Are you saying that I look old and haggard, Captain James?"

"No of course not, you look beautiful, it's just that it's been a long, long day" He leaned forward and kissed her gently "Tell me again, why the hell are we going off to some bloody hotel when we've got a perfectly comfortable bed upstairs?"

"Cos Rory's taken our bags there already"

"So?"

"And it's a tradition, it's our first night" Molly giggled.

"Oohh-kaaaay?"

"Didn't you know that once you get a ring on your finger, you turn into a 'born again virgin' and everything that's already 'appened don't count?"

Charles laughed "That's a bloody shame, I quite like everything that's already happened"

"Only quite?"

"No" he laughed again "It was all lovely, perfect in fact" he kissed the tip of her nose "Now, how much longer do you reckon before we can push off?"

"Not long" she kissed his cheek "I've got a present for you when we get to the hotel"

"Have you, what is it?"

"I'm not gonna tell you, if I tell you now it'll spoil the surprise"

og-og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: First of all, thank you for all your good wishes for my recovery, I am now on the mend, i.e., incredibly bored, which is always a sign of getting better. Just before I leave the subject, however, I must bang the drum for the NHS 111 service and the 'out of hours doctor', they get cr*p publicity but were simply brilliant.**

**Thanks again for your lovely reviews, it is so motivational to read that other people enjoy the pictures I create in my imagination as much as I do, it makes it all feel even more real to me. I know, I know, sad or what?**


	22. Chapter 22

"Where's this present then?"

"Have a bit of bleeding patience mate, in a minute"

Molly took her shoes off and massaged her aching feet. They had walked to the hotel along Royal Crescent, frantically trying to pick the rose petals off their clothes and to brush it off their hair from the send-off they'd had from the wedding party, they would've felt bad about littering the reception area of the hotel. Charles was also doubting the wisdom of allowing 2 section to know their destination but was powerless to do anything about that, he could only trust to their sense of self-preservation stopping them from any idiocy. The Bridal Suite of the hotel was beautiful, although Molly was yet to be convinced that it wasn't wasted on them, they were only going to be there one night and like Charles, she wasn't sure that their own bed and bedroom wouldn't have done just as well, maybe better in fact. Beth and Martin had insisted that this was their treat and neither Molly nor Charles could bear to be churlish enough to upset them by turning it down.

Charles had also removed his hot shoes and socks and had opened the floor length windows onto the wrought-iron Juliet balconies which allowed a very welcome breeze into the room as he lifted a bottle of champagne out of the ice bucket and waved it in Molly's direction in invitation.

"Can I be a bleeding peasant and say I'd rather have a cuppa?"

"Good idea" He grinned and moved to put the kettle on.

"Before you do that, please can you come and undo all these titchy button things on the back of my dress, I can't reach them" Charles moved behind her and kissed the nape of her neck, then began to fumble slightly with the tiny loops which fitted over the pearl buttons.

"Have I told you how amazing you look in this dress?"

"Won't hurt for you to say it again" Molly smirked.

"I know you said it cost a bloody arm and a leg but it was worth every last penny, you look fantastic" He kissed her shoulder, "and I can't remember whether I've told you that I love you today, because I do, more than I can say"

"I love you too "She put her hand up over her shoulder and patted his cheek where he stood behind her "Now can you undo the rest of these buttons for me please?"

He undid another few buttons then stopped dead.

"Sweet Jesus, Molly, what are you wearing under this thing?"

"Undo the rest of the buttons and you'll find out and this _thing_ is my wedding dress, dickhead"

"Yeah sorry" Charles began to kiss a trail down her back as he undid the rest of the loops and the dress fell in a silken heap round her ankles and onto the floor. He turned her round to face him.

"Oh God, you look unbelievable" Charles was lost for words as he held her at arm's length and looked at the white lace basque, the way the bra cups uplifted her beasts so that they were high, full and rounded like ice cream cornets, the hour glass moulding of the lacy boned body, the tiny white lace boxer shorts and the suspenders and white silk stockings she was wearing. He turned her round slowly and looked at her back, the smooth cheeks of her bottom tightly enclosed in the white lace boxers where it extended below the basque and moved his hands up to cup her breasts, rubbing his thumbs over her nipples under the lace, causing her to catch her breath then hooked his thumbs onto the top of her shorts and slid them off over her stockings.

She moved to undo the suspenders but he growled "Don't you dare" and put his hand over hers to stop her "Leave them on, in fact, don't ever take this off"

"I take it you like your present then?" He lifted her up and carried her over to the bed as she bathed in his overwhelming response to the little secret she'd been keeping all afternoon.

"Nah, don't know what you're talking about" He smiled as he started to strip off his morning suit, dropping his clothes on the floor in his haste to be naked while struggling to maintain some semblance of control over his desire to pounce on her. "You know you'll have to wear that every night for the rest of our lives, don't you? And it's probably just as well I didn't know about it earlier otherwise it would have been a cheese sandwich and_ a 'nice to see you, now piss off, I need to ravage my wife' _situation_"_

"Nice"

"I hope so, come here "

If she was being honest, Molly had been amazed at how sexy she'd felt the minute she had tried the basque on in the wedding shop, she'd never quite understood the thing about dressing up for sex, in her experience it was more about getting naked together as quickly as possible. She'd known instinctively, or rather she'd hoped, when she'd looked at herself in the mirror, that Charles would react the way he had, although she'd had a moment's doubt when she'd put it on earlier that day and had a horrible vision of him laughing. Maybe because of that and the way the underwear made her feel and the emotions of the day, she reached previously unimagined heights of excited response to him. She could now see the point of moving to the hotel, she was pretty sure that they hadn't been exactly quiet and the presence of all the wedding guests in a marquee and garden under their bedroom window would have meant maximum embarrassment next time they'd seen any of them.

Later, very much later after Molly had taken all the flowers and pearls out of her hair, with much yelling and cursing as the wires and pins pulled strands of hair out of her head and Charles had, with much reluctance, unhooked her basque, which had delayed their cup of tea for another considerable period, they lay on top of the bed in the cool breeze coming through the long windows and watched as dusk fell, drinking tea and bathing in the warm glow of satisfaction of just being together after the intense excitement of the last couple of hours and everything that had happened that day.

They agreed that neither of them could remember much about the wedding service now, it had all flown past like a dream and Charles denied that he'd ever had trouble climbing trees, said it was Rory's idea of a joke and Molly giggled and said that she wasn't entirely sure she believed him so he'd insisted he'd prove it next time they were somewhere near suitable trees. They talked a little about the somewhat strained relationship he still had with the lads, and Molly told him how responsible she felt; that if it hadn't been for her and Smurf none of it would have happened, so Charles promised to sort it out when they got back from leave, do some 'male bonding' as Molly called it sarcastically, and Charles replied he'd had more of a 'piss up' in mind, and they'd talked about their honeymoon and their friends and families until Charles realised he was talking to himself as she'd fallen asleep, curled against him like a contented cat in a patch of sunlight.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

"Go on then, how d'you do?"

"I ain't looked yet"

"WHAT? Why the hell not?"

As far as Molly was concerned this was 'D' day, decision day, a day she'd been dreading and looking forward to for months; and she had no idea what she was going to do next. Their two weeks in a wonderful romantic hotel on Herm had been magic, no television, no mobile phones or internet signal, no traffic and nothing to do each day but walk hand in hand in the sunshine on silvery sandy beaches and green, flower strewn headlands and spend the nights concentrating on each other. The euphoria for them both had lasted through the 3 mile ferry ride back to Guernsey, despite the fact that the weather was breaking and the sea was rough and through the short flight back to Bristol, but the reality began to bite at Molly when they'd collected the car from the long stay carpark and set off for Bath.

She didn't want to go home to Beth and Martin's home in Bath, it wasn't that she didn't love them, she did, but things had changed and she wanted to be headed somewhere of their own, somewhere they could carry on being alone together. No matter how good or understanding Beth and Martin were, she wanted to be where they could go to bed, or wherever else they fancied, and make love whenever or wherever they wanted without feeling uncomfortable or self-conscious and it wasn't going to happen for the foreseeable future. A few days after Bath they would be returning to their separate existences while she waited for her exam results, probably only managing brief snatches of time together and never being totally alone so that they couldn't even have a private conversation, never mind make love, or a quarrel without hiding away somewhere or going out for a walk.

She now had very mixed feelings about what exam results she wanted, on the one hand she couldn't imagine anything better than being able to stick two fingers up at the people who'd said she wasn't good enough, who'd treated her as a thick waste of space, but on the other hand she wanted to be with Charles, to share a life with him, to share a bed with him every night not be miles away in University accommodation proving something, no longer to him, she knew she didn't need to do that, but maybe proving something to everyone else …and herself.

og…og…og…og…og…og…og…og

"I'm shitting myself here, that's why"

"Don't be daft Molls, go on, just do it, it'll be fine"

"I can't, you do it for me"

"No….….…..is that what you really want?"

"Yeah….….no…..…..….…I dunno"

"Just do it, okay"

"Okay"

There was a long silence while Molly found the right place on the website and then scrolled down to find her name, then he heard a sharp intake of breath and he crossed everything he could and said a silent prayer, he couldn't bear the idea that she was going to be disappointed, especially as he had pushed her into doing it in the first place. He heard a very unusual sound at the other end of the line.

"Are you crying?"

"Yup"

"Oh shit, don't cry sweetheart, I'm so sorry…..….."

"Thanks, but I got 2 B's and a C"

"That's bloody brilliant, you're bloody brilliant, what the fuck are you crying for?" He took a deep breath "You trying to scare me to death?"

"I dunno, I'm sorry"

"I'll see you later, is Suzie still going away this weekend?

"Yup" Molly was still sniffling, she wasn't sure why.

"I'll see you about six, we'll go out and celebrate and then we'll come home and celebrate a bit more" he laughed "What do you think?"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: So it's on to the next stage of will she, won't she? Reviews would be good if you can bear to so that I can make a decision as to how much further to take this. At the moment I have 2 more chapters in mind, but will make a definite decision after this.**


	23. Chapter 23

"God, I'm so bloody _proud_ of you"

"I'm pretty bloody proud of meself"

Charles swept Molly up in a hug and then let her slide slowly and gently down his body as she regained her feet on the floor and then kissed her lingeringly on her closed mouth feeling her respond as her lips parted under his.

"Where's me flowers and chocolates and champagne then?"

"What? Oh shit, I never thought" He rubbed the back of his neck then looked at her, confusion written all over his face "You don't do flowers and chocolate, you haven't even got a fucking vase and you don't like bloody champagne"

"I might gonna have to change me mind"

"You're winding me up" He laughed as kissed her again "Where's Suzie gone?" He'd never quite forgotten the first night he'd spent in this flat when Molly's friend and flatmate had bowled in unexpectedly.

"She phoned a bit ago, she's in a traffic jam on the M1 with Neil cos she's going to meet his parents and she's crapping herself" Molly giggled unsympathetically at Suzie's plight.

"Good" Charles started kissing her again, then thought about what he'd said "Not 'good' that she's crapping herself, I didn't mean that, but 'good' that she's not about to crash through that fucking door any second"

"She knows you're 'ere this weekend, she wouldn't do that"

"Yes she would"

"Yeah, you're right, she would" Molly giggled again "Anyway I thought we was going out to eat to celebrate"

"What? We've got the whole place to ourselves and you want to go _out?_ Bloody gone off me already have you, Mrs James?" He swung her up in a firemen's lift over his shoulder and carried her shrieking and giggling into the bedroom "We can get a take-away after"

"After what?"

"I'll think of something"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og…og

"You can 'ave pizza if we're eating in bed, anything else you'll have to get up, I ain't picking bits of rice off the sheet before we can go to sleep tonight" She smirked at him.

"I see, you have your wicked way with me and now you're being cruel"

"I know" Molly giggled "Get over it"

"Pizza it is then, have we got anything to drink?"

"There's some wine in the fridge"

"Yours or Suzie's?"

"Mine of course; I don't know what you're on about"

"Oh yes you do"

Charles waited until they were propped up in bed eating pizza and drinking wine to address the elephant in the room, he knew from things she'd let slip that Molly now had very mixed feelings about Birmingham, but there was something she didn't know, something he'd deliberately avoided talking about over the last couple of weeks. They hadn't spent any real time alone in that period and he had a feeling this was going to be a bit tricky, so he took a sip of wine, it was surprisingly nice, and then took a deep breath.

"Have you thought about what you're going to do yet? About Birmingham?"

"I dunno what to do, I sorta wanna go but I don't at the same time" She pulled a face "What do you think I should do?"

"I can't tell you what to do, Molls, it's not up to me is it?" He tucked her hair back behind her ear "But if you're really asking me what I _think,_ then I think you should do it"

There was a prolonged silence, then in a very small voice and sounding as though she'd been slapped she asked "You don't want me to stay with you?"

"Of course I want you to stay with me, we're going to be together for the rest of our lives, that'll never change, but you'll be bloody brilliant, well you already are, but you'll be even more brilliant when you've done this, and it means that you'll always have something to fall back on, to rely on whether you're in the army or not"

"What you talking about?"

"We're in the bloody army, Molls, and sometimes the army's a fucking dangerous place to be, I found that out the hard way, and I don't want to freak you out or anything, but if anything ever happened to me, not that it will, but I like the thought that you'll always be able to take care of yourself and any kids we have without having to rely on benefits or my parents or yours"

"Fat lot of good that'd do me" Molly interrupted him.

"Exactly" Charles carried on, hating every second of this conversation "And once you've done this, you'll be able to get a job in any hospital anywhere if you want to…or need to"

"Is that it? Have you done trying to frighten me to death? " Molly was fighting to control the urge to burst into tears; the evening wasn't turning out a bit the way she'd imagined it.

"I'm not trying to frighten you, that's the last thing I'd want to do, come here" He put his arms round her and pulled her so that she was leaning with her back against his chest, "I just need to know that you're always going to be okay whatever happens". "Fine" She swung her legs over the side of the bed and grappled on the floor for her 'T' shirt where he'd thrown it earlier "I'm gonna make a cuppa" she walked out of the bedroom without looking back at him and even the back of her head registered how upset she was. "Shit" Charles sat on the side of the bed rubbing the back of his neck for a while waiting to see whether she would come back; then put his boxers on as he listened to the sounds of the kettle boiling and the teaspoon clinking against the mug as she stirred her tea, then silence.

"Are you okay?" He stood in the doorway watching her as she stared out of the window at the street below and sipped her tea. It was just starting to get dark and there were was the odd raindrop on the window, "Fine" she repeated without turning round and obviously not meaning it.

"Thought they said it was going to be dry tonight and a nice day tomorrow"

"What?"

"The weather forecast...… never mind"He gave up trying "Are we having a row?"

"No …." She sniffed, still with her back to him "Yes"

He thought for a moment "Shit, I really rained on your parade didn't I? I didn't mean to do that, I'm so sorry Molls".

"For someone who didn't mean to do it, you did a bleeding good job, didn't you?" He could hear the tears in her voice although she still wouldn't turn and look at him.

"There's some talk that we're going to be deployed" He tried to smile but it came across more as a grimace as she turned her head and stared at him in speechless horror "Nothing definite yet, as I said it's just chat at the moment"

"Where?"

"Belize would you believe, according to the grapevine we're going to do jungle training of all things, but as I said, it's just a rumour at the moment"

"Shit"

"So I've heard" He laughed "Can you imagine Mansfield crawling through swamps full of bugs and snakes and things carrying a knife between his teeth like Indiana Jones?"

"Don't be 'orrible" Molly giggled in spite of herself as she shook her head "Is it dangerous there? I mean it's not a war zone or nothing is it?"

"No"

"I can't imagine you doing it, let alone anyone else"

"I'm not doing it, I'm the bloody officer, I'm going to let the others do it while I watch"

"No you won't"

"I don't like bugs and spiders and things, especially those bloody enormous ones they have in these god-awful places"

"Where the fuck is Belize anyhow?"

"Near Guatemala, I think"

"I'm none the bleeding wiser"

"Central America somewhere?" He decided that it probably wouldn't be very wise to mention the word Carribean. He went to turn her round so that he could kiss her, but she resisted so he put his hands inside her 'T' shirt and ran them up over her ribs to cup her breasts.

"Get off; I'm not in the mood"

"You could put that lacy thing on?"

"No, that's for special occasions, and I said, I'm not in the mood"

"This is a special occasion"

"It was" Molly couldn't help letting some of the disappointment she still felt in the way the evening had turned out creep into her voice. "And this is about me not you and why the fuck do men always think that 'aving sex will make everything okay?"

"I'm sorry, it works for me ever time, and I thought you enjoyed it as well, but you're right we don't need to, come here" He put his arms round her again ignoring the rigid tension in her body "I spent the afternoon on the internet"

"Thought you was working"

"I couldn't concentrate. I was looking at flats in Birmingham, I thought we could rent somewhere. somewhere nice where you can live if you want to and where I can drive up at weekends and when I get time off, somewhere we can be on our own, what do you think?" He kissed the top of her head and then moved her face away so that he could read her expression and the grin that was breaking out on her face "Now, you going to stop being grumpy and show me how clever I am?"

og…og…og…og…og…og

She slowly unwrapped her legs from round him as he helped her stand up and support her own weight, steadying her for a while before he let her go, it had been a pretty intense ten minutes or so, as he tried to ignore the trembling in his thigh muscles.

"Come on" He picked up his boxers off the kitchen floor "Let's go to bed"

"You bleeding showing off now?" Molly smirked.

"No, I just don't want to be standing here stark bollock naked if Suzie comes bowling in" He laughed "I don't want to be part of 'compare the arse dot com' or something, thanks very much"

"You didn't think of that just now" she smirked again "and it wouldn't be your arse she'd be comparing" Molly giggled.

"Lovely, I do **not** want to know, thanks and I had other things on my mind just now" He swung her up in his arms ready to carry her out of the kitchen "I want to be somewhere where I can close the door, I'll even sleep on the damp patch"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

There was a much more harmonious atmosphere in bed as Molly asked him whether he'd meant it about a flat in Birmingham.

"Of course I meant it, I miss you when I can't see you, you know that"

"Suzie's knocked up, pregnant, and she says it's our fault"

"Shit, is she?" He lifted his eyebrows pulling a surprised face "How the hell can it be our fault?"

"Our wedding, so she says, too much champagne and then getting carried away with it all, but I reckon it was accidentally on purpose"

"Are they getting married? Is that why she's worried because they're going to tell his parents?"

"No way, I wouldn't 'ave thought so anyway and she ain't gonna tell them anything, she's crapping herself in case she spends the weekend puking her guts up. She still keeps calling him a dick, but she wants kids so she'll 'ave it"

As Charles listened, the idea popped into his head that maybe Molly had seen that as a potential solution as to what to do next when it hadn't even occurred to him, and that maybe she'd stopped taking the pill, it would certainly explain how upset she'd been earlier. He needed to know what was going on, especially bearing in mind what they'd got up to most of the evening so far, he just wasn't sure how to ask the question without upsetting her again.

"Maybe we should consider it, you know, having a baby instead of Birmingham, my mum would be ecstatic" Charles laughed as he wound a lock of her hair round his index finger.

"I'm sorry, but your mum'll have to bleeding wait a bit, and anyway when we 'ave a baby it'll be cos we want one not to make Beth 'appy"

He didn't know whether he was disappointed or relieved that they wouldn't be having an accidentally on purpose and that he wouldn't be going on tour leaving a pregnant wife behind again, he'd sworn that when he and Molly had babies it wouldn't be a re-run of Sam, this time he wanted to be around for it all.

"Come on then"

"What again? You're insatiable Mrs James"

"You should be so bleeding lucky. No….. swap places, you said you'd sleep on the damp patch"

"Oh yes" he moved across the bed as she clambered over him "Bloody hell Molls, can't we get a clean sheet?"

"Stop moaning, it's your fault not mine"

**Author's notes: I will be carrying on for a couple more chapters, so thanks for the feedback and for your kind comments. Please review for me.**

**Just to answer a few questions: **

**Birmingham City University is where QUARANC degrees are done.**

**Molly wouldn't be able to do a nursing degree in a civilian hospital, she doesn't have the right qualifications or UCAS points.**

**She can be moved away from Headley Court at any time, it's not a permanent job but a posting so she can't just opt to stay there rather than move on.**

**I have also been to Herm, it's a totally beautiful place!**


	24. Chapter 24

She got a shock when she caught sight of herself in the full length mirror which was screwed to the wall in the hotel bedroom as she remembered a 'D' day almost three years ago and smiled. He'd told her then that he was "bloody proud of her" and she'd replied that she was "pretty proud of herself" and that was even more true today, because she knew that today he was positively bursting with pride as he lay on the bed with his hands linked behind his head grinning as he watched her get dressed in the distinctive grey and red of her QARANC uniform. Today was another 'D' day, today was Graduation day, Degree day.

Acting Corporal Molly James. QARANC. SRN. .

Her three years in Birmingham had been full of massive highs and lows, and a lot of tedium which had made her seriously doubt what she was doing there. When she'd arrived her fellow students had all seemed like schoolkids to Molly, and to be fair most of them had been just that a few short weeks before, and some of them had been incredibly homesick and some had seen a golden opportunity to go out on the lash every night, but they'd all had one thing in common, they made her feel ancient. Their habit of walking around the communal areas stripped to their bra and pants meant it was impossible to invite Charles to stay while they waited for their flat to be ready, she trusted him completely but there were limits to what she was prepared to test him with, and a dozen or so almost naked 18 year old girls was pushing it, not to mention the tiny barrack style bedrooms and the hard, narrow single beds.

The week before she'd moved out had been particularly memorable, some of the girls used the fire door to get to the fire escape for a fag, smoking was totally forbidden, and as Molly's room was next to the door, she'd lost count of the number of times she'd been woken by desperate cries of "let us in" because they hadn't blocked the door properly and it had automatically swung shut. Even that was better than the night it was pissing down with rain so they'd congregated in the room with the biggest window to blow the smoke out, and they'd set off the alarms, so that everyone had to evacuate and stand outside in their pyjamas in the pouring rain. Charles had laughed like a drain when she'd indignantly told him about it, and when she'd calmed down a bit she acknowledged that she'd behaved far worse at their age but was still outraged that she'd had to tolerate being ticked off like a naughty schoolkid by the Course Director next day, when she hadn't even been involved.

Their flat was lovely, very modern and what Nan would call 'tarted up' and their time there had been magic for her, well for both of them, it was to all intents and purposes their first home together, but it was fairly lonely when Charles was back at Pirbright and their mobile phone bills were frightening high until he was on the plane to Belize. Then it had felt like shit, knowing that he wouldn't be walking through the door for six months made her almost regret not keeping her room on in Halls.

The course was easy at first and Molly had the novelty of being the 'class genius', mainly because she'd done it all before on the CMT course, and, although she knew she'd stuff it up sooner or later it was fun while it lasted. She'd loved all the clinical placements, working on the wards was what she wanted to do and it was what she was best at. She'd never nursed a diverse mix of patients before, all her experience had been with young soldiers, almost exclusively male, so she'd enjoyed every minute of the 6 week blocks of time she spent caring for the elderly, for children, for pregnant women and babies, not to mention acutely ill people of both sexes and all ages and for mental health patients. She'd particularly enjoyed her stint in A it had felt reminiscent of the organised chaos of the Casualty Clearing Hall at Bastion if you discounted the high number of dickheads of both sexes who bought it on themselves each weekend by drinking themselves stupid, something that wouldn't be tolerated in the army. She'd hated Theatres, the smell of fresh blood and a person on the table who didn't even look human most of the time gave her bad dreams when she did her 6 weeks there.

Her first Christmas had been an incredible low. She'd been looking forward to going to Bath to see Beth and Martin so that she could remember last Christmas and talk about Charles, she was missing him dreadfully, and to maybe spend some time with Sammy, when she'd succumbed to a virulent strain of flu which was sweeping through the hospital. She'd ended up spending it alone in the flat, in bed, too feverish and wobbly to even get up and wash or get a cuppa, water from the basin tap in the en-suite had to do, full of bad dreams when she was asleep and totally sorry for herself when she was awake, until the cavalry had arrived in the shape of Nan. It had been one of the times she'd almost decided to jack it all in and go home, but Nan's brisk encouragement of "Don't be such a tool, it'll all be different when you're better" and Charles' worried e-mails and phone calls had made her decide to carry on until he came home at least.

The paperwork part of the course had, as she'd known from the start, been a whole different ball bag. Sitting there day after day studying the theory had threatened to 'do her head in' and she'd had to spend hours reading and re-reading stuff afterwards to make sense of it because she'd daydreamed about Charles and a Caribbean beach during the lectures. He'd promised to take her there for their first holiday after this was all over, not Belize of course, but a tourist resort, like St Lucia and she intended to hold him too it.

Charles had almost competed the jungle training and he hadn't enjoyed any of it at all, or so he told her in his weekly whinges about the heat, the food, the insects that he hated that kept stinging and biting them, the fact that he'd found he was scared of snakes and that most, if not all of them, had suffered from repeated tropical stomach upsets. The biggest whinge of all was the fact that he missed her badly all day, every day. A high spot for Molly was the day that she splashed out £120 on a one way taxi ride to Brize Norton to meet their return flight, an amount that was, as he'd once said about her wedding dress, worth every last penny judging by the expression on his face when he saw her waiting for him.

He'd come through into arrivals in the middle of a noisy laughing group of 2 section, all of whom looked thinner and tropically tanned. Brains saw her first and nudged him so that he'd stopped talking in mid-sentence, looked over and seen her and almost run across the concourse to where she was waiting by the seating area. He'd swept her up in his arms and was hugging her as if he'd never let go, as he dropped repeated kisses onto her upturned face, both of them completely oblivious to the hordes of people milling around them.

"Excuse me Miss, is this bloke bothering you?" Mansfield tapped her on her arm, obviously set up by the rest of them who were all standing around grinning at the sight of their CO and his wife, most of them hadn't seen her since the wedding the previous year.

Charles lifted his head "Mansfield….."

"I know Boss" He laughed "Shut the fuck up" Molly turned to greet them with a huge smile on her face in the midst of the gales of laughter and declined their offer to go and find a bar for a drink or a coffee or something; she just wanted to get home to be on their own.

"Isn't this a School day?" They were in the car on the way home.

"I threw a sickie, it's Friday, we don't do much on Fridays. Anyway, I couldn't wait to see you" She moved her hand onto his thigh and started to make tiny circular movements with her index finger.

"Stop it" Charles closed his eyes briefly then moved his hand to stop her finger and lifted her hand to his lips, keeping his eyes on the road as he kissed her knuckles "I'll crash the bloody car if you keep doing that"

"Sorry"

"Don't be sorry, it's just that I'm so pleased to see you, I've missed you so bloody much"

"I know, me too"

Suzie's little boy, Joseph, had been born not long before Charles' return from Belize, so that he was a few weeks old before they'd been able to travel down to Surrey together to see them both. Charles had mixed feelings about re-visiting the flat which Molly had once shared with Suzie and which was now home to Suzie and Neil. She still maintained she didn't love him, that he was a knob and that she would never, ever think of marrying him, something which seemed weird to Charles seeing as they were living together and had just had a baby, but then he'd never really understood Suzie. He worried a bit that she was such a forceful character that she would somehow make Molly feel that she was left behind and, although they could quite easily decide to have a baby, Molly had almost finished the first year and he wanted her to be able to finish and get her degree before they did.

The second Christmas was a high spot as they'd decided not to go to Bath but to go skiing in Andorra instead; something which had seemed like a great idea to Molly in theory, she loved the blue skies, the constant sunshine and bitterly cold air, but the continual falling over and sliding downhill on her bum meant a great deal of laughter and some exceedingly painful bruises which somewhat hampered some of the more private activities they'd had in mind.

A low spot came not long after Christmas when Charles got the news he'd been dreading, that they were deployed again, not, as might be expected to anywhere hot and steamy with a jungle, but back to Afghan, on a six month posting to Kabul, where they would be part of Nato mentoring of the ANA. Molly was appalled, she knew she'd promised not to freak, but she wanted to scream and shout that it wasn't fair, that he'd done his bit, wasn't the fact that he'd nearly got killed last time enough? Charles kept trying to reassure her that they weren't going to be in danger, not on the front line, they were going to be in the background assisting and mentoring, but they both knew he was lying. She'd thought that Afghan was over, that after draw down and the closure of Bastion, the danger of him being sent there had gone, and now they were sending him to Kabul which was even more fucking dangerous.

The day he left she'd cried for hours after he'd gone, filled with a deep anxiety that she'd been hiding for days and now couldn't control, she was terrified she wouldn't see him again and she couldn't tell anyone how she felt because his parents and everyone else were looking to her to be calm and reassuring and rational about the risks he faced. She threw herself into studying and working her placements but there were still far too many hours spent alone in the flat gnawing her knuckles with anxiety, counting the hours until she could SKYPE him and see that he was still in one piece. She hadn't told him to be careful when he'd left, it had seemed like a jinx thing to say, so she'd told him to look where he was going and to watch what he was doing and she repeated it at the end of every call and e-mail as a sort of talisman.

She decided that she needed something else to think about and booked a course of driving lessons, then enrolled in a cookery class at the local FE College. As she was far too restless to relax and watch television, she was trying to fill the hours left spare between studying and sleeping without resorting to going to the pub, that was something she was afraid to start. The first really successful meal she cooked was on their second wedding anniversary, where she'd eaten alone, wept and drunk more wine than was strictly sensible as she waited for him to SKYPE her. He'd finally got through at 2.00 in the morning when she'd promptly burst into tears again and spent the whole call saying "I'm sorry" and "I love you" so that when they disconnected and she went to bed she was full of remorse because she felt like she'd let him down and made a real tit of herself as well as a terrible hangover.

She'd passed her driving test three days before he was due to come home and this time she couldn't meet him which she felt was ironic as she could've driven herself there. She had an exam that morning which she couldn't afford to miss, although she wasn't sure how much attention she'd paid to it, she had a feeling her answers were probably unintelligible crap because her mind was elsewhere completely. Later that afternoon in a flat that was clean and polished, scented and sparkling, she looked at herself in the mirror, she was also clean and polished, scented and sparking and was wearing her white wedding basque and a robe, when she suddenly panicked that she looked like a bloody hooker waiting for a client and rushed to find something else to put on over the lacy underwear and threw open some windows to kill some of the scent from the candles. Later that night Charles had almost wet himself laughing as she told him what she'd done.

"Now I know I'm home"

"Stop laughing at me, it's not funny"

"Yeah it is, it really is" He kissed the tip of her nose "Promise me you'll always dress up like a hooker while you wait for me to come home"

"Why, where are you going next?"

"Barracks?"

Og…Og…Og…Og…Og…Og…Og

**Author's notes: This is the penultimate chapter so I hope you enjoyed it.**


	25. Chapter 25

The intense excitement of choosing her first car combined with the relief that he was home safely, despite all her fears, meant that the first weekend after Afghan was a definite high spot for Molly and was one of the happiest they'd spent together. When they weren't in bed, they were trawling the local papers and car dealerships looking for something suitable. Charles favoured something like his mum drove, something small and easy to park like a Micra or a Polo or even a Mini, but Molly accused him of being a sexist pig and then floored him by saying she'd thought of something more like a Porsche or a car like that 'Lewis 'amilton' drives. Charles had stared at her with unmitigated horror and told her that in that case she could pay her own fucking insurance and Molly had burst into peals of laughter accusing him of still not being able to tell when she was winding him up.

They'd eventually bought her a shiny, almost new Fiat Punto which she loved with an overwhelming passion and which she'd driven to Bath in convoy the following weekend so that Beth and Martin could safeguard it for her for the time being. She'd realised once she'd bought it that there wasn't anywhere safe enough for her to keep something so _precious _and there really wasn't anywhere for her to drive it to, but for the time being knowing it was _there _and_ hers_ was enough. She'd quite enjoyed driving to Bath, although she couldn't move her shoulders for hours afterwards they were so stiff with tension, and she'd enjoyed it far more once she was following Charles and not the other way round.

Charles' return to barracks coincided with Suzie's announcement that she was pregnant again, so that Molly asked her whether it was "Congratulations" or "Oh holy shit". Suzie plumped for the latter, although once again, Molly didn't quite believe her. She was beginning to think that Suzie's version of her relationship was bollocks, and that she would actually marry him tomorrow if he asked, and that getting pregnant again might well be a lever to get him there. Charles was slightly appalled when she told him.

"How come she's pregnant again when she says she doesn't fancy him, that they're not a couple, not together?"

"Don't be dumb, of course they're together, you don't get two kids if you're not shagging, do you? I think it's him, he don't wanna get married"

"I feel sorry for the bloody kids then, because she can be a bit flaky can't she?" He remembered some of the times gone by when she had taken against him for no obvious reason.

"No she's not; she'll be a fantastic mum. One thing you 'ave to remember is that Suzie had a crap childhood, she was really bullied, it's what we 'ad in common back in Bastion, and she'll make sure her kids never go through nothing like that, she'll fight like a bleeding tiger to keep them safe and 'appy"

Charles was almost sure that she was no longer talking about Suzie and her children but about any children they might have so he leaned over and kissed her, hearing the passion in the declaration she'd just made and feeling unbearably tender towards her. This rare glimpse of the raw pain and misery that had been part of her childhood was usually very deeply buried under layers of prickly self-defence, even from him, and he wished more than anything that he could go back and 'fix' it.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing in particular, I don't need a reason to kiss my wife do I?

Their third Christmas had been spent in Bath with Beth and Martin and they'd seen Sammy a couple of times before travelling to east Ham. Charles finally got to meet the elusive Dave, who was slumped in a grubby, unshaven morose heap on the sofa, his years of heavy drinking had finally caught up with him and he'd been diagnosed with the onset of Cirrhosis of the liver, so that Nan maintained that he was now a 'bleeding miserable sober git', rather than a 'bleeding miserable drunken one'. The doctor had managed to frighten him so much that he was in danger of becoming a reforming evangelistic teetotaller yelling that anyone who bought alcohol into the house was trying to poison him, so that Belinda confided in Molly that she almost preferred him pissed. Molly had offered to try to calm some of his fears but Belinda had reacted with horror, saying that the doctor had done a great job and that a shit-scared Dave left far more money in the housekeeping pot. Molly wasn't convinced that his epiphany would be a permanent one, she suspected that once he'd lost some of the flabby weight and started to feel better, the lure of the pub would be too great for him, but in the meantime she adopted her brisk "nanny knows best, I'll have no nonsense" nurse's voice and ordered him to get washed and dressed and to wash his hair and shave because it would 'make him feel better'. He muttered something about a 'bossy mare' but meekly obeyed, as Nan muttered that it would certainly make the rest of them feel better, not to mention making the place smell better as Charles caught her eye and struggled not to laugh.

Molly was now on the home straight of her course, there'd been continuous assessments and exams throughout, coupled with ward reports from the placements and that had been where she'd really shone. Her examination results had been described by her tutor as patchy to say the least, ranging from barely a pass to almost acceptable, but her ward reports had always been 'outstanding' or 'excellent', so that she was definitely seen as the star of the practical elements of the course. Every ward manager or sister she'd worked for had told her she'd be welcome back anytime, even the Theatre which she'd hated, a situation that had done wonders for her self-esteem which could still be extremely fragile. Molly had everything crossed that it would be enough to scrape her a decent degree in spite of her lousy theory work, she needed at least a 2.2 to get the posting she craved to Frimley Park in Surrey, barely spitting distance from Pirbright. The only mountain left to climb was the dreaded dissertation.

She'd chosen to write her paper on the diagnosis, effects and treatments of concussion as she felt that it had some personal relevance for her, what with Charles and then Smurf, but she came very, very close to losing it completely. Writing and re-writing for hours on end, looking up references and then trying to remember where she'd read things when she needed to check them, knowing that she was being very disorganised and then panicking. She made Charles read it over and over again, even though he confessed it was all Greek to him, so that she screamed that he was fucking unsupportive, that he wanted her to fail and that she wished she'd never listened to him and started this _shit _in the first place, then ending up flinging herself face down on the bed in floods of tears.

Charles picked up all the pages she'd flung at him, hoping like hell they were numbered, which they were, or he'd have no chance of sorting them. He left Molly to calm down, then picked her up and dried her eyes and insisted she lit some candles, had a glass of wine and a nice warm bath while he tidied up. He had absolutely no idea whether what she'd done was good enough, but he was pretty bloody certain that it wasn't going to be improved by throwing it round the room. Later, as he stroked her hair then started to kiss down her body, he ignored her half-hearted protests that she still had work to do on the bloody thing; he was beginning to hate it as much as she did, and he set out to take her mind off things as only he could. She fell asleep very quickly afterwards, the emotions of frustration, panic, anger, tears and then sex had combined to wear her out as he lay next to her and worried about what would happen if she didn't make it.

The day she heard she'd got a 2.1 he'd been on pins all morning, unable to settle to anything constructive, and longing to call her. He was half afraid it was the same situation as the day she got her GCSE results and she'd been too scared to look. She called him from the pub, where the remaining members of the course had gone straight from checking the results board. A number of them had fallen by the wayside during the three years, but, as she said, nursing wasn't for everyone, sometimes patients threw up all over you. Charles had nodded and said "Thanks for reminding me" and Molly had laughed and said "Don't worry about it, mate, it couldn't matter less" and laughed.

She already sounded high, whether it was from alcohol or excitement he didn't know, but she begged him to throw a sickie or pull a compassionate and come and meet her in the pub. He didn't want to rain on her parade again, so he carefully didn't tell her to go easy on the booze, he reckoned it would take him about 2 hours to get there at this time of day, by which time, if she'd already started drinking, she'd probably be in a coma.

"Cor, get a load of that, that's why I joined the army" Claire gestured with her head towards the tall, dark haired man who'd come in wearing army fatigues.

"Wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crisps" Julie cackled as the others all looked and laughed. Molly, knowing all too well who'd just come in, turned round and pretended to look.

"Not bad" she turned back to the girls "I'll tell you what, I'm gonna go and chat him up, see if he fancies a shag"

"Molly, don't" "No" "Stop her someone" "Don't, you're pissed" "Get back here you daft cow" There was a clamour from the girls as she clambered over the bench she was sitting on and sauntered up to him all cocky and grinning.

"Sometimes I find it hard to keep my hands off you" she smirked

"I know the feeling" Charles put his head back and laughed "You ready to go yet?"

"Yeah, well nearly" She smirked again.

A small fair haired girl joined them and was tugging at Molly's arm to try and get her to come back and sit down.

"Come on Molly" She turned to Charles to apologise for interrupting them and for trying to rescue her friend "I'm sorry, she's a bit pissed"

."You don't say"

"I told them I was gonna chat you up and ask if you wanted a shag"

"Molly!" Jessie was horrified as Charles laughed so that Molly relented "Thanks Jessie, but there's no need to rescue me, this is my old man"

"Oi, less of the old" Charles put his hand out to shake Jessie's as he put his other arm round Molly and pulled her close to his side "Charles James, Jessie is it? Nice to meet you, Jessie, and thanks for looking out for my wife, or trying to, but I think I'm going to take her home now before she gets into real trouble"

"Stop talking about me like I wasn't here"

Molly waved to the others and called out 'Bye' as they left knowing that Jessie would tell them who he was once she'd gone. She almost wished she could stay and hear what they were saying about him, sometimes she forgot just how attractive he was to other women and when he kissed her before he started the car, just how lucky she was.

The posting to Frimley Park was everything that Molly had hoped for and their move to a small two-bedroomed Victorian terrace in Ash completed her happiness. Okay, it was small and a bit shabby, not nearly as 'tarted up' as the flat in Birmingham, it'd only got one bathroom and that wasn't en-suite, but it was in a quiet road with plenty of parking space for her car and a long thin garden where Charles could throw a rugby ball about with Sam when he visited, and was, best of all, where they both lived and slept in the same bed, not just at weekends, but almost all of the time. She'd been at the hospital for over three months now and loved it, wearing the uniform and being in charge of a small team of four gave her an unimaginable buzz, so that sometimes she had to pinch herself to remember that even though she was now a 'proper nurse' underneath she was still Molly Dawes with the shit bedside manner.

They'd stayed overnight because the Graduation ceremony was in the Symphony Hall in Birmingham, the auditorium of which was packed with the friends and relatives of the people officially receiving their degrees. Molly had opted to wear her QARANC dress uniform, as had most of the girls, rather than a mortar board and gown, they'd had the choice, as she said the gowns were all so long on her she was worried she would fall arse over tit in it when she went to collect her bit of paper. They were actually collecting a blank card tied in the middle with a bit of ribbon as their proper certificates would come in the post, but no-one cared. Charles checked the Official Programme and found her entry as he wondered whether he could buy more copies for Belinda and Nan and his parents.

Molly James. Corporal. QARANC. S.R.N. . Hons.

"Molly James" Charles had a huge lump in his throat as he watched her walk up the steps and salute, then shake the Chancellor's hand as he handed her the blank scroll, then walk off again. There had been what felt like a million people before it was her turn and he couldn't see her face, his seat was miles up in the top balcony and he was too far away, but he knew she would have looked solemnly beautiful, her green eyes shining, until she re-joined her friends, when she would be wreathed in a huge grin.

.

og…og,…og…og…og….og…og

"You okay?

"Think so, haven't sat up yet though"

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Not sure I can remember"

"Lovely"

Molly gingerly got out of the bed, waiting to see whether she had any head rush from last night's celebrations before she moved, then went to the bathroom to relieve her aching bladder and to splash her face with cold water.

"What do you want to do now?

"What 'now' now, as in right now, or 'now' as in later on when we get 'ome?"

"Both"

"Well, right now I want some breakfast cos I'm starving"

"And later on?"

"Well I've been thinking that it's maybe it's time to, you know, think about making Beth 'appy"

"Bugger making my mum happy, what about you, are you sure?"

"It'd make me happy too"

"Well, then that makes three of us"

og…og…og…og…og…og…og

**Author's notes: Thank you for all the support I've had for this story, I really enjoyed writing it. I have a new story bashing at my brain demanding to be written (other FF authors will know what I mean) so I will be making a start shortly.**

**To all those lovely people who say they're impressed at the speed of my updates, I have to admit that I write my stories almost in full before I even publish the first chapter, so that I re-read each bit before I update and edit them, maybe altering bits or adding stuff or removing it and adding A/N, but I find keeping going when I have the 'flow' stops that awful moment of knowing what you want to say then not being able to find the right words to say it and hating it when you read it back !.**


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/: This is a sequel to A Bedside Manner, and follows on from the happy ever after of the original story, a re-visit that was suggested to me by the lovely Debbie, who also kindly read the first draft of this chapter and encouraged me to ignore any doubts and go ahead and publish. Hope you enjoy it. **_

-OG-

"Mornin' how are you today?"

"What do you mean good morning? What's bleeding good about it? Nothing, I've had a shit weekend and its Monday and I'm on long days all bloody week"

"Whatever happened to _Good Morning Molly, yes thank you I'm fine, how are you? I had a lovely weekend, thanks very much for asking, how was yours?"_

"Piss off, Pollyanna, not everyone's got a husband like yours, sex on legs, tell me, did you spend all bloody weekend in bed?"

"Mind your own business" Molly smirked "Nah, actually I didn't, he wasn't even home cos he's away on some bleeding exercise, been away all weekend pretending to be a bloody soldier somewhere in Dorset, anyhow, listen Gem, whatever you do don't let him hear you call him that, will you? He'd be dead embarrassed" Molly finished putting her clothes in her locker and pulled a set of scrubs off the pile, mentally cursing the unwritten rule that said you take the top one so that she invariably got one that swamped her, one that was made for someone who was at least seven foot tall with legs to match.

"I take it your date didn't go that well then?"

"Not so as you'd notice" Gemma pulled a face "Where do you think all the bloody decent single blokes have got to? All the decent ones seem to be either married or gay, or both, so that I get left with the mummy's boys, or the weird buggers, or maybe the ones that are convinced they're god's gift so I should be bleeding grateful for a chance to play with their dick"

"GEM!" Molly tried hard to sound scandalised and failed miserably as she giggled "Which category was he in then?"

"Definitely weird, listen, he not only …" Gemma was just about to embark on a detailed description of the peculiarities of her date from Saturday night when the door burst open admitting a gaggle of junior staff all of whom were loudly chattering and shrieking with laughter but who immediately fell silent as they came through the door and saw the two seniors in the changing room.

It was almost twelve months since Lance Corporal, now full Corporal Molly James had started on this wing at Frimley Park Hospital. She'd started when she was a newly qualified QARANC, the ink was still wet on her degree and she'd still been very conscious of the grey and red uniform she was entitled to wear but inside she'd still felt like an imposter, especially when someone had called her Sister, the courtesy title given to the Queen Alexanders' nurses. It had all felt decidedly odd, strange, she was way out of her comfort zone, as though she was play acting or something and even though she was a bit more used to it now, she still didn't like the way the other girls were around her. There were a lot of times that she was swamped with nostalgic regret for the days when she and Suzie had been army combat medics together, two of the most practised bull-shitters around, mates who'd laughed at everything, well nearly everything. They'd shared their lives ever since they'd met at Camp Bastion and had, on their return to the U.K., both been posted to Headley Court, when they'd started living together in a flat in Epsom. They'd shared an exceptional talent for hiding bolshie contempt for higher authority behind the sweetest of smiles, something which had also helped disguise their decided propensity for dumb insolence, which Molly could now see right through in other people so that she longed to take them to one side and tell them not to try and bull-shit a bull-shitter, but she couldn't. That would mean telling people about the stuff she'd got up to in those days when it was all so bloody easy, when the responsibility lay at the feet of others and she could whinge and moan all she liked, and did.

She could still remember the times that she'd been taken to task for not being perfect, she known at the time that she was a long way off it, but then who the fuck was? Well, just about everyone according to her boss at that time, apparently everyone else was flawless in every way, a total asset whereas the old hag seemed to think that Pte M Dawes was the only CMT, in fact the only squaddie in the RAMC, the whole British army, who was sometimes guilty of having a suspect sense of humour and a shit bedside manner. Well maybe she was a bit guilty, then, but not all of what the old bitch had banged on about was true or fair, yeah alright, she'd got a fairly crap bedside manner, well she had then, and she did keep on calling patients, even the officers, mate, and sometimes she took the piss, laughed with them a bit, but not all of them had minded. Charles for one hadn't given a shit, he'd fallen for her anyhow, except that maybe he had been a little bit biased.

Suzie was, as Molly kept on reminding her, still on her one woman mission to re-populate the entire southern counties of England, at the same time as insisting that Neil, her partner and the father of her tribe, was a total knob so that she couldn't even contemplate marrying him. She'd shocked Charles to the core, which in fact had been her intention, something Molly had recognised but he had not, by saying that shagging Neil was one thing, but marry him? No, that was definitely a no-no. It was something that neither Molly nor Charles were sure that they believed, both of them were fairly convinced that it was, in fact, more the other way round.

Briefing the girls and then, together with Gemma, overseeing the normal morning routines of the unit meant that she could put the all-consuming question to the back burner of her mind for a few hours, but she couldn't stop her subconscious from keep sending her running backwards and forwards to the staff toilets. Anyone watching her would have thought it was far more than was strictly necessary unless there was something wrong with her, but however sensible she was trying to be, she just couldn't stop this compulsive need she had to keep on _checking, _to make sure that there were no tell-tale spots of blood, that surely this time … . It had been eleven months now, a very long eleven months of trying, something that was made more difficult what with her working shifts and him not always being at home, so that the so-called _perfect _window of opportunity seemed to be for about three and a half minutes on a Wednesday morning. This time she was four days late and had spent the whole weekend unable to sit still, to settle down and do anything, she'd desperately wanted to distract herself but couldn't. She could have answered the question instantly but was far too afraid to go out and get a home test, was too afraid of how she would feel if it was negative again, if she didn't know for sure one way or the other, she could keep on hoping.

"Lucky cow"

"Yeah I know, see ya"

She watched enviously as Molly collected up her stuff ready for her afternoon off, something that she wasn't entirely convinced she was glad about, on the one hand it had been very difficult for her to concentrate all morning, but on the other being at home on her own was going to give her far too much time to worry and wonder and hope "I'll take the notes with me, drop them off"

She collected up the bundle of medical records from the weekend discharges which needed to go back to the admin office on the base and waved goodbye to a couple of the patients who, bored shitless, were entertaining themselves by watching the staff through the glass walls of their cubicles and then pushed open the swing doors and left for the day. She walked out into the fresh warmth of the spring sunshine and turned her face up to look at the sky feeling the grin appear on her face despite her over-riding anxiety. It was a beautiful day so that she could go home and sit outside in the garden for the afternoon, before starting to cook the supper. Charles would be back around supper time and suddenly she couldn't wait to talk to him about it, maybe if she said it aloud to someone it would feel more real. But, before she did any of that, she was going to stop being such a bleeding coward and was going to pop into Boots and buy a test, it would be the first thing that Charles would ask so maybe they could do it together.

-OG-

She'd dumped the pile of medical records in the in-tray of the admin office, then nodded and waved to a couple of the staff that she knew, she also knew that although they were pretending to be engrossed in their desk top screens the ones that she knew were far more likely to be looking at their messages on Facebook, or looking at shoes.

As she passed the staff loos on the landing she just couldn't ignore that bloody insistent little voice in her head, the one that was telling her to just _check_ before she set out for home, that it wouldn't do any harm, so that she popped into one of the cubicles. She just stared, the shock and angry disbelief overwhelming her. The evidence was there, right there in front of her and she couldn't hide from it, there was need for her to go to Boots and buy a bloody test, this was yet another month where they'd failed to make the baby that they'd both felt was going to be so easy.

She ignored using the lift in favour of the stairs, a lift full of people was the very last thing she wanted while she was trying hard not to let her tears spill over, she was afraid of a flash flood down her gob, a flood that had been gathering at the back of her eyes ever since she'd _checked _and seen those unmistakeable spots of blood that said _sorry, not this time._ It wasn't as if the tears were only tears of upset and disappointment that she'd failed once again, these were also the tears of blind rage at the injustice of it.

Someone held the door open for her so that she could duck under his arm to walk onto the stairwell, she didn't see who it was because the tears that had been threatening had begun to spill out of her eyes and were blurring her vision making her turn her head away from whoever it was. She didn't want him to see her face and she didn't want to look at him in case he was someone she recognised so that he'd ask what the matter was, so she forgot to say thanks until it was too late and the officer with the fairish hair was on his way up the stairs as she started on her way down towards the exit and getting off home for the privacy she craved so that she could have a good bawl.

At first there was just silence, a complete silence as if everything was holding its breath, and then the world caved in as the floor under her feet disappeared and she began to fall forwards into this dark emptiness, and then she fell and fell and fell, over and over again into a bottomless pit that was filled with the echoes of an explosion and the sounds of the stuff that was falling all around her. The sound of lumps of concrete and metal hitting other lumps of concrete and metal and there was this sound of wood splintering and glass breaking, shattering, and then there were screams. Loud screams of terror and pain and she didn't know, couldn't work out where they were coming from, but being a nurse meant that she had a duty to find out who it was that was hurt and screaming like that, it was her job to help whoever it was but the problem was that she couldn't move. She couldn't even turn her head properly because it seemed as though her hair was trapped by something, one of the lumps of metal or concrete maybe, she didn't know what, all she did know was that she was trapped and she knew that she was trapped because she felt as if she was going to be sick and when she'd tried to turn her head she found that she couldn't, and now she lay there totally terrified that she was going to choke on her own vomit.

The screaming stopped and she was heartily glad, the sound of it had been scaring her and she needed to concentrate all her efforts on not being sick and not crying at the horrible sharp pain in her temple, an agony that was accompanied by something warm running down the side of her face and into her hair. It took a while for her to work out that the sticky warm liquid was probably blood because she couldn't seem to move her hands up to touch it, to feel it, to see what it was, because her arms appeared to be trapped just like her hair, and she couldn't remember ever before being as cold as she was at that moment. She couldn't stop shivering, her teeth were chattering uncontrollably. She was cold right down to her core so that the shivering was consuming her whole body, shivering that she knew from her training was rooted in shock and that was when the panic set in and she started to scream as loudly as she could, over and over.

"Don't start again, don't scream"

It was a man's voice, coming from somewhere really close to her, a man who seemed to be accusing her of being the one who had been screaming before, but she was sure that he was wrong about that even if he did sound pretty sure of himself. She would know if it had been her. He not only sounded certain of what he'd just said but he sounded posh as well, a bit like Charles so he was most likely an officer, he could even be the officer who'd held the door for her, although that didn't mean that he couldn't be a terrorist. He could easily be one because they were apparently all sorts and you couldn't tell just from looking at them who was one and who wasn't. That was the moment her panic started to escalate again and she could feel that she wasn't far off screaming her head off whatever he'd just said, there wasn't much more he could do to her now anyway, she was trapped in the dark with some twisted bugger who was a bloody terrorist and she couldn't get away.


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews, I really appreciate them and I'm sorry to anyone who thought there would be a quick rescue and then bish, bash, bosh, a nice swift HEA, doesn't work like that I'm afraid.**_

-OG

"What you do that for?"

"What?" He sounded more than a bit annoyed at what she'd said, furious even "No, I'm sorry to disappoint you sweetheart but this had nothing to do with me" He had stopped sounding cross and now sounded like he was a bit amused or something, although she couldn't for the life of her think what he could possibly be finding funny about any of this shit. On the whole she tended to believe him, cos why on earth would someone want to get themselves trapped down here? Well unless he was a nut bar, of course, which he would have to be if he was a suicide bomber, but if he was, he'd be red misted by now.

"Sorry"

"It's alright, now, tell me why you were screaming like that, was it because of all this ….. Or are you hurt?"

"It weren't me screaming"

"I thought it was, but … never mind about that now, just tell me where you're hurt?"

"I dunno, nowhere in particular, I just hurt all over"

She could feel the tears gathering at the backs of her eyes and at the top of her nose as she realised that what she'd just told him was true, she could feel pain from just about every bit of her body, pain from where she'd bloody well bashed into everything as she'd fallen down into this fucking nightmare, God, she was going to have one hell of a lot of bruises when she got out of here, she was going to be black and blue all over.

"That's good, it probably means that you're okay, well at least your back is"

He might be trying to be kind and do his best to be reassuring and a bit of her recognised that that was exactly what he was trying to do and that what he was saying was in all probability true, but that didn't stop her wanting to scream at him to shut up, what the fuck did he know about whether or not she was okay? She was very far from okay, just wanted this nightmare to end. She wanted to wake up back in the unit at Frimley with Gem whinging about her love life, even more than that she wanted to wake up feeling sorry for herself with Charles' strong arms holding her tight against him and his voice in her ear telling her that he was there and that everything was okay, that he wasn't going to let anything hurt her and that all this shit was just a bad dream.

"Can you move your hands and feet, does it feel like you're bleeding anywhere?" His voice was gentle as though he knew that she was scared shitless, it also sounded as though he was very, very close to her but she couldn't really tell where his voice was coming from, not even from which direction "What's your name, tell me what your name is first of all?"

"It's Molly, Molly James"

"Are you bleeding anywhere, Molly-Molly James?"

If he was trying to be clever or funny or something, maybe to take her mind off their predicament he was failing miserably, parroting what she'd said didn't feel in the least bit funny to her as the tears began to seep out of the corners of her eyes again and she took a deep breath trying desperately hard to get herself under control, to pull herself together. She needed to stop bawling because her nose was pouring with snot and was beginning to get all blocked up and she couldn't turn her head or get her hand up there to wipe it away, so that the panic was starting to come back big time. She couldn't breathe properly, she couldn't breathe through her nose at all, she was going to choke and she couldn't do anything to stop it happening.

"Nah don't think so" She took a deep shuddering breath, her voice sounded thick and strange even to her own ears "I can move me hands 'n me feet" She wiggled them again just to check "Oh Jesus that hurts, think I'm a bit bruised" She swallowed hard wanting to scream "I think I was bleeding from me head, but that's stopped I think, well I can't feel it no more anyway" She swallowed hard again "How 'bout you?"

"I'm alright I think" She could hear irritation or exasperation or something creeping into his voice as he went on "Except that I appear to have broken my bloody leg which is going to upset the doctors a fair bit, they've only just finished putting it back together" He snorted a laugh down his nose, a sound that didn't have any humour in it anywhere at all.

"What was wrong with it?"

"Bloody Taliban fucked it up" He took a deep breath in, underlining for Molly just how close he was to her, she could hear it plainly, could almost _feel _him breathing "An IED"

"Oh shit"

"Yes, I think I'd agree with you there, shit would seem to sum it up perfectly"

"Does it hurt much?"

"Bit"

"Well, that's good innit, shows it's probably okay, well, still there at least" She heard him laugh at her feeble attempt to try and make him laugh by repeating what he'd said to her and this time there was a tiny little glimmer of humour in his chuckle.

"Touché"

"I know you're a soldier cos of Afghan 'n the Taliban 'n that, but you sound like you're an officer, you sound a lot like … well, like this officer I know, so are you?"

For some reason she didn't want to mention Charles, she sort of knew that if she started to talk about him she would have enormous difficulty in holding it together especially if she said his name, he was going to go totally bloody bananas when he found out where she was and what had happened to her.

"Yes I am"

"What do you think's 'appened?"

"I'm afraid you were probably right Molly, it seems very likely that someone, and it definitely wasn't me by the way, decided to blow us all into the middle of next week"

"That's a bit of a bummer"

She swallowed hard, her mouth tasted disgusting, all claggy and dusty and horrible where she'd been bawling so that she could really do with a lovely big glass of water, or even better, a cuppa "What's your name, what do I call you?"

"I'm William Harvey, Captain Harvey, now listen Molly, I'm going to move my arm around a bit, I'm going to see if I can touch you because I've got this feeling that you're very close by but just one thing" He gave that little chuckle again "I want you to promise not to scream if I touch something I shouldn't, okay?" He gave another short laugh "Can you move your head at all?"

"Nah, think there's some'ing trapping me hair"

"I need you to keep on talking, or sing if you like, can you do that?"

"You don't want me to sing, mate, I'm telling you, sorry I mean Sir, most people put their fingers in their ears and beg me to shut the fuck up when I start singing"

He laughed "You can call me William and it doesn't matter what you sound like, I just want you to keep making a noise so that I can hear where you are" His voice sounded genuinely amused as though she was being entertaining which she thought was a bleeding miracle in the circumstances, there was nothing remotely funny as far as she could see.

"Noise? Thought you said you hadn't heard me sing" She did her best to match his tone of voice, then felt something touch her hair and resisted the urge to scream her head off. She hoped with all her heart that it was his hand and not a rat or something, because that would just about finish her off "That's me hair you're touching"

"Good, I can't see, but it feels as if there's a bit of metal trapping it so I'm going to try and push it out of the way, I need you to move your head up when I tell you and I'll do my very best not to hurt, but yell if it's too much, and I'll stop, can you do that?"

She bit her lip to stop the scream escaping as the word 'now' suddenly rang out and she lifted her head as she'd been told then felt the absolutely agony as a lock of her hair was ripped out at the roots. In the end though, the pain was a small price to pay for the freedom to move her head from side to side so that the terrible fear of choking began to slowly disappear. Dust and debris rained down on her face as he moved the metal making her want to scream again, she was absolutely terrified that all the stuff that was above them was about to come crashing down and that it would bury them alive any second. Shifting the metal caused another loud noise which added to her fear, it sounded as if something was being ripped apart, a noise that turned out to be the sound of her arm being set free from the manacle of a trapped sleeve. She could suddenly lift her arm and wipe the muck away from her face which was a hell of a relief even though her elbow was screaming in absolute outrage at being moved, but at least her arm wasn't broken or paralysed or anything which was what she'd been scared of when she couldn't move it.

"Thank you"

"Give me your hand"

He moved the hand that was still on her hair and slid it down her shoulder to grasp at her hand and then tightened his grip on her fingers. His fingers felt a bit like Charles', they were long and slender like his and they felt warm and strong as they wrapped themselves round her tiny and icy cold paw as he shook it gently. It was one of the most comforting experiences of her life as the bouts of shivering and shuddering started to subside slowly, becoming intermittent until they finally stopped altogether, at least she hoped they had. Her tears immediately started to gather again, only this time they were definitely tears of relief because for the first time since she'd started falling she didn't feel as if she was alone in a nightmare.

"Shit, hope someone knows we're down 'ere Sir, shouldn't we yell or some'ing? Case there's people up there don't know we're trapped"

"I think we can forget about the Sir don't you?" He sounded amused again as Molly gripped onto his fingers, there was no way she wanted him to take his comforting hand away leaving her on her own in the dark "William, my name is William or Will if you prefer and I think we should save our energy for when we can hear them looking for us"

"Well, wish they'd bleeding hurry up Sir, I mean Will"

This time he laughed out loud "Yes, me too"

"An' I wish I could give you some'ing for your leg, some morphine or some'ing, but you can yell and curse if it 'elps, I won't mind, honest"

"Are you a medic?"

"Used to be, I'm a nurse now, trained so I could be a QARANC, fat lot of bleeding use any of that is right now though, down here without a drugs trolley or a med Bergen anywhere in sight"

"There's also the fact that you can't move"

"Yeah, there is that and that it's so bleeding dark down 'ere I can't even see you"

"Why were you crying earlier?"

"To be honest this is not my idea of fun, Sir, I mean, William, I 'ave had better days"

"Really? You don't say and there was me thinking how much fun we were having just getting to know each other, no, I meant before all this happened, I couldn't help noticing that you were a bit upset even before all this, what was wrong, what was making you cry?"

"Was it you what held the door? Sorry, might have forgot me manners a bit there, I never said thanks, did I? Nah, I was alright really, just being a muppet" She didn't want to talk about it, especially not to him, the last thing she needed was for him to start feeling sorry for her "I were a bit bleeding pissed off about something that's all, a bit disappointed, not that any of that matters now"

-OG-

He was tired and grubby and longing for a hot shower, a large cup of coffee and a 'welcome home' hug so that he felt a swift punch of disappointment in his gut when he realised that the house was empty, the windows were all shut tight despite the warm sunshine and if she was home Molly would have flung them all open and called it giving the place a good airing. The morning's post was still lying on the mat so he scooped it up and gave a cursory flick through the bills and junk mail before chucking it on the table then dumped his stuff at the bottom of the stairs and stood for a moment to wrack his brains trying to remember if she'd said anything about working late, on the contrary he was pretty convinced she'd said she was rostered for a half day would be home all afternoon. He couldn't help feeling a tad irritated that she'd actually gone out somewhere, although to be fair she wasn't expecting him home for several hours yet, but he hadn't seen her since Friday morning when they'd both been rushing to get out. They'd overslept so were late which meant their leave taking had been somewhat perfunctory, well by their standards it had been anyway, so he'd been delighted when they'd got back early from Dorset and had been really looking forward to getting home and surprising her.

His disappointment stopped him thinking clearly for a moment, it was only when he'd picked up the bills ready to go into the kitchen, steeling himself to open them while he brewed himself a coffee, that he suddenly wanted to kick himself. The bloody outrage at the admin block would mean that all leave would have been cancelled, there'd be an 'all hands to the pump' at the hospital as they dealt with the poor buggers who'd been caught up in it, and by all accounts there were quite a few of them, including some fatalities, and a number of seriously injured as well as hordes of walking wounded and an even larger number of people as yet unaccounted for, apparently still trapped underneath the rubble.

He searched for the remote, eventually finding it where she'd left it half hidden between the sofa cushions and shook his head in slight irritation at her habit of just abandoning it, and put the television on, changing the channel to the rolling news on Sky. He stood and frowned, chewing at his bottom lip at the sheer horror of what he was watching, bodies being pulled from the wreckage as the commentator kept on saying that the pictures might cause distress to some people, so that he raised his eyebrows in disbelief, he couldn't believe there was anyone watching who wouldn't be distressed. The admin block wasn't supposed to be a war zone, the young soldiers and the civilian workers in those offices weren't supposed to be on the front line. He turned up the sound so that he could continue to listen while he got himself a drink and checked the fridge. If Molly had planned on shopping on her afternoon off but was caught up at the hospital instead she might not have had time to get anything in, and if that was the case, he'd go to Waitrose when he'd had a shower, and get something nice for supper, although if he was going to have to cook, it would definitely have to be something easy. She'd be exhausted and starving by the time she got back.

-OG-

Molly couldn't stop yawning, loud, jaw cracking, eye watering yawns. Her eyes were gritty, swollen and hot and she was suddenly desperately weary, wanting nothing more than to just close her eyes and have a little sleep, but somewhere in the back of her mind she had this mental picture of her CMT trainer and how often he'd banged on about keeping casualties awake when you're dealing with trauma in the field, in fact everything was telling her that she couldn't just have a little nap and that she had to fight against nodding off, even if she couldn't for the life of her remember why that was.

"Don't go to sleep" His voice was sharp through the sleepy fog that was beginning to wrap her brain in comfortably anaesthetising layers of cotton wool "Call yourself a medic? Come on Molly-Molly you know you've got to stay awake, to stay with me, you can go to sleep when we get out of here" He squeezed the hand that he was still holding tight "Come on talk to me"

-OG-

Tried to laugh


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews and the feedback, I am glad that you are enjoying this and hope that no-one is getting annoyed that it's taking a while for any real progress – I have a feeling that in real life unless you know that a loved one is likely to be caught up in something horrible, there would be a period when you'd just get a bit annoyed because someone is late and you don't know where they've got to, that the realisation wouldn't come instantly …. **_

-OG-

The fridge was full so he heaved a huge sigh of relief as he broke a large chunk of cheese off the block with his fingers and then stood in front of the open fridge door eating it, knowing that his wife would have slapped his hand and told him to stop being a pig, to cut a piece properly with a knife and put it in a sandwich or something which made him laugh, even though he knew it was a sort of rebound from the casual habits of her upbringing. On the outside she hadn't really changed much at all, but he'd seen the expression on her face when she'd watched her dad or one of brothers open the fridge and drink milk straight out of the carton ….. and then put the carton back in the fridge.

He was glad that he didn't need to go out, that his lovely wife had found time to go shopping, he wasn't sure he'd got either the energy or the inclination to do a supermarket run, he would have done it if he'd had to, but it had been a very long and arduous exercise and they'd had very little sleep so he'd far rather go and slump on the sofa. He grabbed the half empty bottle of wine from the fridge and poured himself a large glass to have while he read Saturday's local paper, then decided it would be better not to start drinking before Molly got home or he might very well end up asleep by the time she came in, which was not the welcome he had in mind.

His eyelids kept getting heavy as he tried and failed to get excited about some local campaign over a development of social housing that someone was raising a petition trying to stop it going ahead, or at least to get it moved away from their neighbourhood and then gave up trying to concentrate on something he knew he should care about a hell of a lot more than he actually did. Sky News was still pumping out wall to wall coverage of the bombing, although he wasn't really watching it any more, was more half-listening, because calling it news was a misnomer. No-one had yet claimed responsibility and there appeared to be a real shortage of fresh information, it was mainly one long endless stream of opinion on just about every possible aspect of what had happened from one long endless stream of so-called bloody experts, people that Molly would call the 'gobby know-it-alls', self-importance exuding from every pore. It irritated him beyond belief that for all their sober, serious and self-deluded assurances that they and they alone understood all the issues and knew all the answers, not one of them had any hard facts, they knew about as much as next door's cat, but he couldn't quite bring himself to switch the bloody thing off.

He woke with a start, the television screen was the only source of light in the room so that he knew he'd been asleep for a while and that Molly still wasn't home even though he'd been asleep for more than two hours, so that he was now seriously concerned about where the fuck she could have got to. He tried her mobile again, he'd already left messages before he'd nodded off, and pleaded with her to ring him, that he was getting seriously worried, but although it was apparently still switched on she didn't pick up. Logically, he knew that it was because they were likely to be far too busy, up to their bloody eyes in it, but even so ….. Then, and admittedly against his better judgement, he called Frimley Park, because her car was parked up the road so it was obviously one of those days when she'd decided to do the long walk into work. It was always a nightmare finding somewhere to park at the hospital, even for staff, so sometimes if she got up in time and had a short day in front of her, she would walk in. He was glad now that he'd decided not to have any of the wine, it meant that he could drive down and collect her when she was ready to come home, he still had these vivid memories of how knackered she used to get after a heavy night shift back when she shared that flat in Epsom with Suzie and had no car, well, before either of them could drive, and how she used to whinge that putting one foot in front of the other was as much as she could manage.

Whoever he spoke to at Frimley was unashamedly pissed at him that she'd had to stop whatever it was she'd been doing to answer the phone, so that it showed in her tone of voice when she did eventually answer, just to snap that none of the day staff were still there. She'd then hung up, meaning that he was left apologising into thin air and thanking someone who was no longer listening because they were no longer on the line. He'd cursed out loud as he disconnected, annoyed that he'd missed her by waiting out for too long because he'd been asleep, so that now he had to make a choice, he could either go and stick his head under the cold water and remove all the muzzy edges, and then take a chance on the route she'd use to come home and go and see if he could find her. He cursed himself again for not asking little Miss Helpful at Frimley what time they'd left so that he could pick his best option, whether that was to go and look for her, or to sit tight and wait. Maybe he should sit tight, she couldn't be very much longer.

Another hour and he couldn't just wait any longer, he'd been pacing backwards and forwards between the window and the sofa trying his best to control the feeling that he had to _**do **_something to assuagethe anxiety that was making it impossible for him to concentrate on anything else. The decision to ring Gemma hit him like a blinding flash, he was thoroughly annoyed with himself that he hadn't thought of it before, it was bloody obvious that the two of them would have gone to the pub for a couple of beers after such a long and tough day. Molly's phone didn't appear to be working so maybe she hadn't been able to call and let him know where she was, but if she was still in the pub he would drive down and collect her even though she got very pissed at him when he did that sort of thing without asking her first, she would accuse him of being jealous and say that he was checking up on her, but he just needed to see her, to reassure himself that she was okay. After a very protracted and increasingly irritated search he finally found Gemma's number stored on their land line, and acknowledged to himself that it was the first place anyone with their wits about them would have looked.

"Gemma, hi it's Charles, I'm really sorry to interrupt your evening, but is Molly still with you by any chance, her phone's doesn't seem to be working and I'm getting a tad worried that she's not home yet and I haven't heard from her, so if she's still there, can I …. "

"I'm sorry, Charles, I've only just got in and I haven't seen Molly since she finished her shift, and that was, what, just after lunch, she had the afternoon off so that she got away before it hit the fan"

"Right" He took a deep breath and ran his hand over the hair on the back of his head, he'd convinced himself that she'd be with Gemma "Did she say if she was doing anything this afternoon, going to see her mum or anything like that?"

"Sorry no she didn't, she didn't say anything"

"Okay, thanks, not to worry she'll be in London with her mum I expect, I'll call her there"

"Belinda? Yes, its Charles, how are you?" He took a deep breath as he heard her soft breathy voice launch into a detailed run-down of family news which was the last thing he actually wanted to listen to, but he didn't want to start Belinda worrying about where her daughter had got to either "Have you seen Molly today?"

"Nah Charles, we ain't seen her, isn't she with you? Thought she'd be at home with you this time of night"

"No, she's not, but not to worry they're probably really busy with all this stuff going on, although don't worry will you, none of that was anywhere near the hospital"

"We did try 'n call her earlier, me and mum, check she was okay, but she never answered, 'n we knew you was alright cos spoke to Molls yesterday and she said you was away at the sea-side, so when she never picked up we thought as how she'd be dead busy, you know, what with all the stuff going on there and you know how she gets with me when I ….."

"Indeed. Listen, you're probably right, it is more than likely that she's still stuck at work, they will be very busy" He ran his fingers through his hair again, hating that he was lying to her, Molly was not still at work, but she could of course be with Suzie, something he didn't want to suggest to her mum, he knew that Belinda got upset that Molly found time to go to Epsom to see Suzie and the children when she couldn't find time to go home and see the family "I'm sorry Belinda, I'll have to go, the other line's ringing and that's probably her now, she can't get through on here"

He felt this huge surge of relief as he grabbed the phone fully expecting to hear her voice, a surge of relief that was extremely short-lived.

"Charles, it's Gem, Gemma, I'm sorry I was trying to get you on your mobile, look, I don't want to worry you or anything, but I've just had a thought, I've just remembered that Molly was going to deliver some stuff to admin before she went home, I mean, holy shit, she couldn't be ….. you don't think …?"

-OG-

"You sound just like Ch …. someone I know, he'd be sayin' stuff like that to me, you know like "Call yourself a medic?" in fact he says stuff like that to me all the time, and I didn't mean to piss you off, sorry"

"You're not pissing me off, Molly, but you really shouldn't go to sleep, it's not a good plan but then you know that, so come on, talk to me"

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"I have no idea" He gave his little chuckle again "What do your friends call you by the way, do you have a nickname?"

"Not any more, used to, I used to have a couple at one time, it sort of depended if they wanted to be polite or not, but I haven't got one now, well, not that I know of and not to me face anyhow, people just call me Sister. I used to have a lot of friends and we used to have a real laugh, but nothing seems to be that funny anymore, and the people I work with don't take the piss, they salute me instead"

"What were they, your nicknames?"

"Some of me mates used to call me Dawsey, or they called me muppet" As she said it she could remember having almost the identical conversation with Charles, one day when he'd been lying hurt in a hospital bed at Bastion and had wanted to know what her name was, years ago now, before she'd fallen in love with him, or they'd fallen for one another. But she didn't want to think about Charles, she wasn't sure that she could cope with the thought of him without giving in and screaming out loud for him to come and get her out of there.

"Why Dawsey?"

"Me name was Dawes, original or what?"

"So, have you been in long Dawsey?"

"No-one calls me that anymore" She tried to laugh "They don't call me muppet neither come to think of it although I still am sometimes, I said didn't I, they just call me Sister these days. I've been in for a while now, I was a CMT for ages 'n then I decided to give it a go, trying to be a nurse. I never wanted to get trained at a civvie hospital, I wanted to get away from home for a start, but anyhow I had no exams or nothing and you have to have them, qualifications I mean, if you want to train, I were eighteen when I joined, so that was what, can't think now, that was about seven years ago, nah, nearly eight, bloody hell"

"Just about forever then?"

"Yeah, you?"

"More than twenty years now" Molly heard him sigh, she hadn't thought he'd sounded that old but that made him well ancient compared to her, even compared to Charles, a thought that she found vaguely comforting, she had the feeling that he was about the same age as Martin "So, do you know how much longer you plan on staying in Dawsey?"

"For about five minutes after we get out of here" Molly heard him chuckle "I dunno do I? I mean, I thought I'd be doing something else by now, but it don't look like that's gonna happen, so I haven't really thought, but it's not like I'd be much use at anything else, and I think I'd stay being a nurse, even if I weren't in the army anymore"

"That's good" He chuckled again.

She knew he didn't really care how long ago she'd joined the army or why she'd become a nurse or any of the rest of it, it was of no interest to him at all, he probably wasn't even really listening so she could just as easily tell him that she'd been the Chancellor of the Exchequer or a nuclear scientist or even a sex worker, and he'd still keep on saying 'Hmmm' like he was doing, he was just trying to stop her falling asleep by making her talk to him. "Then someone suggested I could get trained to be a real nurse in the army so I did this load of study, got me GCSEs and went off to Birmingham, 'n now I work at Frimley Park and I love it, even if I do moan about it sometimes"

"Well done you"

"Thank you, what 'bout you, why did you join up? If you can remember that far back"

"You cheeky baggage, I'll put you on a charge if you're not careful" He chuckled to show that he was teasing.

"Like to see you try mate, sorry I mean Sir, no I don't, I mean Ch … Will"

"Just you wait till we get out of here, you'll see"

"Can't come quick enough" She heard him chuckle again "You still reckon we're gonna get out of 'ere then? I mean 'ave you got any idea how we're gonna do that?"

"Of course we're going to get out, don't you dare start thinking anything different, now, what did you want to do when you left school?"

"Well, I never really went that much, I didn't like school, couldn't wait to turn me back on it"

"That's a shame" He sounded a bit surprised, shocked even that someone wouldn't like school, maybe posh people at posh nob schools didn't feel like that and she was pretty sure that William Harvey had gone to the same sort of posh nob school as Charles had "Still, you've made up for it since haven't you?"

"Never really thought about it like that, but yeah, s'pose I have"

"Well, you should start thinking about it like that" He squeezed her fingers "If you could do anything you wanted, anything in the world, right now, what would that be?"

"What apart from getting out of here you mean? I dunno ….. brain surgeon?"

"I see" He chuckled out loud "Hmmm, that might prove to be a bit tricky"

She'd wanted desperately to say all I want is to be a mum, I just want to have a baby, and it's my bloody fault that it's not happening, it can't be anything do with Charles, he's already got a little boy from his first go round, so it can't be him can it? … Looks like it might be too bloody late now, or maybe it's his Lady Luck putting the kibosh on it, might have decided that it's for the best in case I don't get out of here. Her panic was starting to escalate again, she wanted more than anything in the world to scream 'it's not bloody fair, get me out of here' …...

-OG-

"No, you don't understand, my wife is in there"

"I'm sorry, I can't let you go through here, there's a waiting area set up in the mess hall over there" The young MP jerked his head and then pointed in the direction of the correct building, not really in the slightest bit interested in the plight of yet another relative who wanted to go and get in the bloody way of the people who were working flat out under the arc lights at the end of the road. Yes, it was sad, it was bloody awful for the poor buggers who'd been caught up in it, and he felt dead sorry for the relatives, of course he did, but shit happens, right?

-OG-

Tried to laugh


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N: Sorry about no update yesterday, had the sort of headache where you can't look at the screen and I kept editing sentences so that they didn't make any sense at all. Thanks very much to Debbie for her patented headache cure …. It was much appreciated . Thank you for the reviews, and I will update tomorrow, all being well, I don't want to leave anyone hanging over the weekend **_

-OG-

He'd dropped the phone, grabbed keys and mobile and hadn't taken the time to turn off the lights or find a sweater or a coat or anything, even though the evening had turned chilly and it had begun to rain. He'd just shoved bare feet into trainers without worrying about socks and had run to the car slamming the front door behind him without bothering about the dead locks; his one thought had been to get there just as soon as he possibly could. And now that he was there, there was this young squaddie who didn't even look old enough to shave standing in his way and telling him that he couldn't go anywhere near where he wanted, no, where he _needed_, to go.

"Where are the casualty lists posted?"

"If you go over to the mess hall" He gestured in the same direction again "I'm sure someone will be able to get you the information" The MP had given this tiny, almost infinitesimal shrug of impatient indifference, a small and involuntary movement of his shoulders that absolutely incensed Charles, but the young soldier didn't notice, he'd been standing out in the rain getting soaked to the skin for nearly four hours and was more than a bit pissed off, not to mention hungry and thirsty. He could do with a pee and they'd promised him that he'd be relieved more than an hour ago.

"Sir" Charles snapped.

"Sorry?" The young soldier looked at him properly for the first time, puzzled and caught off guard by the sharp response and by the change in the tone of voice.

"You will address me as Sir or Captain, and now if you've got that, I'll repeat my question, where are the casualty lists posted?"

"Sorry Sir, I didn't realise" For this young and very bored soldier this had just turned into an even bigger nightmare than it had already been "The Chaplain has a temporary office at the back of the mess hall, Sir, I'm sure he'll be able to help you, Sir"

"Right, and whether you _**realised **_or not, you should have known that you treat every relative with the same respect as you would have treated me if you'd known that I was your superior officer"

"Yes Sir, sorry Sir"

With that, Charles didn't utter another word, just glared with his stern face expressionless, then turned on his heel and stalked off in the direction the MP had indicated, the bottom had dropped out of Charles' world so that he was in his own personal nightmare. Snapping at the hapless young idiot had been a reaction, a lashing out at the fear that was churning like acid in the pit of his stomach.

-OG-

A screeching noise of metal scraping against metal was followed by another heavy shower of dust and debris that coated her face, a much more prolonged one this time, making Molly yelp as she spat out bits of gods knows what and then immediately apologised to Will, saying that it had made her jump but that was all. Actually it had scared the shit out of her, she was once again totally terrified that the whole bloody lot was about to come crashing down on her, that the creaking noises and the dust were the start of the imminent collapse of all the remaining bits of the stairwell.

"It's okay to be frightened Molly, you don't have to apologise for goodness sake" He squeezed her hand "I'm a bit scared too, its not only you"

"Are you?" He didn't bother to answer, just squeezed her hand again as she thought about what he'd said, she wasn't sure she wanted him to be as scared as she was, she'd found the thought of him being all strong and certain quite comforting "What the fuck do you think they're doing out there? Why can't we hear nothing? I reckon they're not even bothering to look for us any more, they think we're already dead" She took a deep shuddering breath as she tried hard to ward off another wave of panic "How long we been down here now Will? Cos it feels like it's been hours and hours"

"I'm not sure, there's not enough light for me to see my watch and it's possibly broken anyway, but I don't think it's been that long, maybe a few hours, could be five or six, possibly a bit longer" He stroked her fingers "They'll be working very slowly and very carefully and that's why we can't hear them, they're not going to give up looking for us, sweetheart, they wouldn't do that"

"You just called me sweetheart"

"Did I? Slip of the tongue"

"Really?" She swallowed hard "Thought it was my incredible charm and magnetism what was working on you"

"You might be right, possibly, or it might be your incredible wit and outstandingly positive optimism in the face of so much adversity"

"You taking the piss?"

"Yes I suppose it is just possible that I could be" He gave his tell-tale chuckle "Tell me about your husband"

"How do you know I'm married?"

"Let me see now, you've changed your name and" He rubbed her finger "The wedding ring is usually a bit of a clue, in fact it's a dead give-away"

"Oh yeah, forgot about that" She shuddered, desperately wishing he was Charles "He's gonna be well crapping himself at all this, that's if he knows where I am, cos I'm not sure anyone knows I'm here, I was only visiting the bloody place, well, that is unless Gem's worked it out and told him. He was away on exercise so I haven't spoke to him since yesterday 'n I 'aven't seen him since Friday morning, shit, hope he's okay"

"He'll be fine, be a bit worried about you, I expect, he'll be very relieved to get you back in one piece" William had his reassuring voice back on, which on the whole Molly thought she preferred to his 'You're not the only one who's shit-scared, I am as well' voice "What's his name?"

"Charles, Charles James, he's a Captain like you, do you know him?"

"Name doesn't ring a bell, sorry, so" William took a deep breath working very hard to make his voice sound as if they were having a normal conversation under normal social circumstances "How long have the two of you been married?"

"More than four years now, we met in Afghan when he got himself hurt, had a bit of an accident 'n I looked after him at Bastion, actually he puked his guts all over me first time we met" She took a deep breath, trying to control the mixture of laughter and tears at the memory "Then we met up again when he was in Headley, the Taliban did their best to fuck him up as well, shot him in his leg 'n his guts, well they nearly killed him actually" She had never missed Charles' reassuring presence more than she did at that moment, she badly needed to hug him as the tears threatened to overwhelm her again "Anyhow, there we go, we've been together ever since" William tightened his fingers on hers, giving her hand a reassuring little squeeze, he could tell from the catch in her voice just how upset and worried she was about this husband of hers who would, in all likelihood, be terrified that he was never going to see her again.

"Have you got any children?"

"Nah, well yeah in a way I have, Charles has got this little boy, Sammie, me stepson, he's nearly ten, he's at boarding school now, shit, hope no-one's told him what's 'appened"

"No, don't worry about that, and you know it _**will**_ all be fine, you'll see"

"Glad you're so sure mate, so" Molly gulped hard, determined to try and stop the tears that were threatening to spill over at the thought of never having children and how frightened Sam would be if he knew what was happening "How about you?"

"Have I got children? No, I'm not married"

"Well that don't always follow does it? I'm a bit surprised, though, would have thought that you were, blokes your age usually are aren't they? Married I mean, either that or they're gay, although sometimes you can be both, can't you?"

"Yes I suppose so, but just for the record Molly, I'm not gay" She could literally _hear _the smile in his voice "And what did you mean, blokes my age? How old do you think I am?"

"I dunno, do I? Fifty? Fifty five?"

"I'll have you know I'm still on the right side of forty, I'm nowhere near fifty" His voice sounded like he was torn between being slightly outraged and very amused.

"Oops, sorry" God, how wrong could she be? She could have sworn that he was well ancient, well, that he was a hell of a lot older than thirty odd anyhow, that made him not much older than Charles.

"That's alright, _please _don't mention it" He was still chuckling even if he did still sound slightly offended, or as if he was pretending to be, so that she was tempted to call him a sarky sod, before he squeezed her fingers again, then continued "I used to be married once upon a time, but it didn't work out unfortunately, maybe if we'd had children ….. but then who knows and it was a long time ago now"

Molly heard his sharp intake of breath and the involuntary little moan and knew that he must have moved his leg, for a moment she'd almost forgotten that he was in all sorts of agony, pain that she could do nothing about at all.

"Stop shifting yourself about, Will, I know it's really hard keeping still when something really, really hurts but if you don't you're gonna make it a whole lot worse, so just try not to move it, keep it as still as you can"

"I'm trying" She heard him take another deep breath "Tell you what, Molly, I could murder a pint"

"Yeah, me too"

Molly laughed at his words as she tried to match his tone of voice, even though she was getting increasingly worried about his leg, the more time that passed without any sort of treatment, the worse the outcome was likely to be.

"That's the first thing we're going to do when we get out of here, we are going to find the nearest pub and have a very large drink, or quite possibly _a very great number _of very large drinks"

"Have to get that leg of yours sorted first"

"No, we are going to find the pub first, even if I have to crawl there"

"Nah, crawling's what we'll do after we've been in the pub"

-OG-

Tom Rogers was a Chaplain that Charles knew reasonably well, not that he was a friend exactly but he knew him well enough for them to be on first name terms. On the whole he was glad it wasn't a complete stranger, even if the other man's slightly syrupy 'I am deeply concerned but doing my best to be reassuring' manner made Charles want to scream … and then slap him. Every instinct he had was yelling at him to just get out there and start pulling the bloody rubble away with his bare hands, but with all his experience of army rules and protocols he knew that doing that would not only seriously piss off the rescue crew, not that he cared about that particularly, but even if he could get past the barrier which was highly unlikely in itself, it was bound to be against some bloody regulation somewhere.

The room was full of stunned and grey faced people who were either sitting in silence or muttering quietly to one another at old-fashioned chipped and marked mess tables, a lot of them were scarred with deep cigarette burns from the days when smoking was allowed in the mess, tables that were now littered with plastic cups and stirrers together with puddles of spilt tea and discarded sugar wrappers. All the people who were waiting had looked up at him in hopeful expectation as soon as he'd come through the door, obviously thinking that he might be someone who'd have some news, but had then looked away again, none of them wanting to catch his eye any more than he'd wanted to catch theirs, he could almost smell the fear in the air.

He'd desperately scanned through the names of the known casualties with his heart in his mouth, both the fatalities and the injured, together with the long list of 'walking wounded' although he was pretty sure that if she'd been one of them she would have found some way of letting him know. He still didn't know for sure, it wasn't a 100% certainty that she'd even been in there, but as time went on he got more and more convinced that it was the only possible explanation, anything else and he would know by now, Molly would know just how worried he'd be. He read through the lists again, taking it more slowly and carefully the second time round, and had then taken a very deep breath, had carefully composed his expression and then swallowed hard before he'd steeled himself to ask Tom where the temporary mortuary was for the unidentified fatalities, but she wasn't there.

Tom had insisted on accompanying him when he'd checked, even though he hadn't wanted him to, and had given him a reassuring pat on the arm as he'd told him that they were still pulling people out alive and that there were a lot of people still trapped, making Charles' desire to hit him, or deck him as Molly would say, reappear with a vengeance. He meant well, there was no doubt about that, he was trying to be kind, but he was seriously getting on Charles' nerves. All his years in the army, all his time on active service hadn't prepared him in the slightest for any of this, all he wanted to do right now was scream "Where the fuck is she, where's Molly?

He couldn't bear the atmosphere in the room so took himself out into the rain, going back to the barrier that was stopping anyone going any further towards the arc lights or to where the blue lights of the waiting ambulances were twirling and threading their reflections through the drizzly gloom. He nodded at the young MP who was standing guard, a different squaddie to the one he'd bollocked earlier, this one nodded back, a sympathetic half-smile on his face as Charles turned his mobile over and over in his hands before making the decision to call, then immediately wished he hadn't, there was no point in it, but it was too late to change his mind.

"Mum? Sorry to wake you, it's me"

"Oh God, what's wrong?"

Beth shoved Martin very hard trying to wake him, he hadn't heard the phone ring and was still blissfully snoring on the pillow next to her "And before you say don't panic, it's" She checked the display on the clock next to her" It's gone half-past one Charles, why on earth would you be ringing at this time unless there's something wrong? It's not Sam is it? Please god, it's not Scamp, Oh no, oh god it's Molly, isn't it?"

She listened without saying a word as her son did his best to sound calm and controlled, his explanation being filled with a careful optimism he was no longer sure he was feeling, he deeply regretted giving in and making this call. Telling Beth made it all seem real and he didn't want any of it to be real.

"We're on our way, talk to your dad, I'm going to get dressed"

"Hang on Mum …."

But she'd gone, Beth had, as usual, turned into the whirlwind of activity that characterised her response to a problem, it was her way of dealing with a crisis, but this time all she really wanted to do was bang her head against a wall and then curl into a ball and scream _no, not Molly, I can't bear it_. She completely ignored what Charles was saying to Martin about it being unnecessary for them to turn out at that time of night, that there was nothing they could do anyway, that it was just a question of sitting tight and waiting. As far as Beth was concerned, if he didn't want them there, if he didn't need them, he wouldn't have called in the middle of the night …

-OG-

"Have you ever been deployed anywhere apart from Afghan?"

"Nah" She paused "Been to Salisbury Plain if that counts" She heard him give his little laugh again "Oh 'n went to an Adventure Centre in Wales once, did a bit of abseiling and caving 'n stuff, pissed down the whole time we was there, but I haven't been nowhere else exciting"

Mentioning Wales had been a huge mistake, it'd bought back vivid memories of Smurf and of the terrible waste of his life and of his mum and of the day of his funeral, and how they'd held onto each other outside the church, her and Charles, both devastated about what had happened and how everyone had stared at them. Working in a hospital meant she'd almost got used to people dying even though it still upset her, but Smurf's death had been different, she would always feel that she'd failed him, that they'd all let him down somehow.

"Did you really think Afghan was exciting, Molly? I thought it was dirty and dusty and hot and that it smelled putrid not to mention being extremely boring most of the time, when it wasn't terrifying of course … and you couldn't even have a proper shower"

"Yeah you're right"

Once again she wasn't really listening, she was too busy concentrating on pulling herself together. Neither of them knew how long they'd been trapped in this shit-hole, or how long it would be till they got out, but one thing she did know was that Molly James, Molly Dawes that was, 'hard-as-nails' Molly, had never bawled as much as this in her entire life.

-OG-


	30. Chapter 30

Charles didn't notice the sun coming up or that it was going to be a beautiful day, he was pacing backwards and forwards outside the mess hall busy trying not to check his watch every few minutes. It had been more than sixteen hours since it had all gone to shit, and more than two very long hours since there'd been any real activity at what used to be the admin block. He'd watched with an impassive expression but with his heart pounding as they'd pulled three young soldiers out of the wreckage and rushed them off to hospital, all three still alive but badly hurt apparently, although it was hard to be sure because there was this frustrating lack of communication between rescuers and the people waiting for news, in fact to Charles' jaundiced eye it looked as though the army PR machine was far more concerned with keeping the media happy than they were about the relatives. Some of the other people waiting had joined him outside, tired from the long hours of inactivity, of just …. sitting ….. waiting …. and drinking cup after cup of vile tea. It had drained them of energy and optimism and every hour that passed it seemed as though a little more hope drained away.

Beth and Martin had gone back to the house, there'd been very little point in all three of them standing in the rain, in fact he'd found the need to keep a brave face on for their benefit was exhausting so that it was a relief when they'd left. They loved Molly dearly, but Beth's constant repetition that they couldn't be _sure_ that she was in there, that they didn't actually know, and her repeated assurances that even if she was she'd be okay, that she was a tough cookie who'd be fine, was driving him bloody insane. He knew that what she was actually doing was offering up some sort of prayer to any god she thought might be listening, but even so … and it had a very similar effect on Martin, judging from the way he'd suddenly turned and snapped at her to please just shut up, which meant that he'd then had to take her in his arms and comfort her when she'd burst into a flood of tears.

-OG-

"CHARLES"

Molly had woken herself up shouting, she hadn't even been aware that she was dropping off and had come to with a hell of a start, completely disorientated because she'd forgotten where she was and who it was who was there with her and then felt sick as reality dawned and a fresh burst of terror and panic swept over her. She had no idea how long she'd been asleep, it might have been only five minutes but it felt like it had been bloody hours and hours and nothing had changed, it was exactly the same, she was still there, still trapped, it hadn't been some sort of horrible dream.

She and William had talked for ages about their families, she'd told him all about her mum and the rest of the Dawes clan, all about Bella and Jade and her little brothers and what little buggers they could be, and all about that time when she and her dad had been at loggerheads, when they hadn't even spoken, and how they still had this sort of uneasy relationship and she'd told him all about her Nan, and what a bleeding disgrace she was. Will had laughed and kept encouraging her to keep on talking about them all, especially about her Nan, so that she'd him all about her wedding day in Bath and how magic it had been except for her Nan getting her father-in-law pissed on brandy the night before, and then she'd told him all about Beth and Martin and about how much she loved them and about how she sometimes felt bad because she loved Martin with all his quirky little habits far more than she loved Dave.

She must have dropped off to sleep while he was telling her all about his mum and how she'd been a widow for a long time, and how she lived in Spain which was dead handy for his holidays, and all about his sister who didn't approve of him being a soldier so that she hadn't spoken to him for years and how he never saw her or her kids even though she only lived in Brighton and about how much he missed them …

"WILLIAM"

She yelled for him as soon as she realised that she couldn't feel his hand near hers anymore, and that she couldn't even _sense _him anywhere near, she couldn't hear him breathing, he seemed as if he wasn't there any more …...

"Wha … what?"

"Oh shit, thought you'd gone for a minute"

"Where on earth would I go? The pub? And I wouldn't go without you, I told you I wouldn't do that, but you don't have to say it" He put on his 'I'm pretending to be deeply offended' voice "You don't trust me at all do you? Come on, don't bother to deny it"

"Shut up, don't be daft, I never, I thought …. I dunno, didn't think anything at all really, have you been to sleep as well?"

She felt his hand creep back and wrap itself round hers, she had no intention of telling him that she'd had an epic panic because she'd thought for one horrible moment that he'd upped and died on her, any more than she'd got any intention of telling him that at some point in her sleep her achingly full bladder had let go so that she was now soaking wet which felt totally horrible. Her eyes began to prickle again at just how unbelievably bloody awful it all was, as well as how painfully dry and sore her throat was, it was hard for her to even swallow.

"I think I must have been, God, I'm bloody parched" He paused "Don't start crying again sweetheart, don't, we'll be out of here soon, you'll see, they can't possibly be much longer"

"I wish they'd bloody well crack on, then, this is not a bleeding joke anymore"

There was a short silence before he muttered something about not realising it had ever been meant to be funny, and then an even longer silence as they both tried to think of something to talk about, even though Molly wasn't entirely sure she wanted to talk anymore, despite the fact that she'd just woken up she felt absolutely wiped out, completely exhausted. Her back was bloody well killing her from not being able to move her legs about for such a long time and she had the headache from hell, it was worse than the worst hangover she could ever remember and her eyes were hot and swollen with tears, all she really wanted to do was to go back to sleep, to escape reality for a while. She'd given up asking him about his leg, it wasn't that she didn't care anymore, it was just that there was nothing she could do to help in any case, and somewhere in her subconscious she was beginning to lose faith in his belief that someone was going to come along and get them out of there. But she was even more afraid of being left there on her own.

William started to talk quietly about his family again, saying he didn't think she'd been listening properly when he'd told her about them earlier because he could have sworn that he'd heard her snore and had then squeezed her fingers when she tried to laugh, murmuring 'good girl'.

-OG-

"Charles" Gemma had appeared by his side and patted his arm so that he jumped slightly, he hadn't been aware of anyone coming anywhere near him "Any news?"

"No, sorry, should have rung, but …. " He gave a small shrug and then a smile that was more of a grimace "No news yet, I'm afraid"

"Shit, I don't bloody believe any of this" Gemma sounded as if she was almost in tears, which she was, as Charles looked at her properly for the first time ever. He'd known Gemma for six months or so, she and Molly were good friends as well as work-mates so that she'd been to the house several times, but he'd never really looked at her before, hadn't even noticed what she looked like. He felt as if he should be doing something to try and comfort her or …. something, but couldn't "Is there anything I can do to help, Charles, get you a coffee or something to eat?"

"No, no thanks, I'm fine"

But he was lying, he was very far from fine, he wasn't sure about anything anymore except that he couldn't possibly swallow another mouthful of the horrible dishwater described on the machine as coffee and that his throat instantly closed at the thought of trying to eat. What he wanted more than anything was to tell her to go away and leave him alone. He wanted to be on his own to just think, about much he loved her and how sorry he was about all the times he'd got irritated over nothing and how much he regretted the opportunities he'd missed to tell her just how much she meant to him ….

-OG-

"What's your name darling, what do they call you? No, don't move, you need to keep your head still for me while we pop this collar on, don't worry it's just to make sure, and then we'll put you on a board and get you out of here, just try not to move, there's a good girl"

"Nah, I'm alright, you need to see to William first, he needs to get out of here before me cos of his leg, I can wait till after you've seen to him, I'm not hurt, he's the one what's hurt not me"

There had suddenly been all these noises and disembodied voices from people she couldn't see, things that were out of her line of vision, and then all these faces had loomed over her, people wearing hard hats were looking at her which scared her, quite a lot actually, she'd been asleep again so that she'd thought at first that they were part of another dream. Then they'd moved themselves to where she could touch them and they'd touched her, but they didn't seem to understand what she was saying, they didn't even seem to be listening to her.

"Me name's Molly, but you're not listening to me? Why won't you listen to me? You don't seem to get it, Will needs to get out of 'ere first cos of his leg"

"Stop worrying Molly, I'm sure that your friend is fine, he's probably out already so you need to just relax and let us get on with getting _you _out of here"

"Nah, he said he wouldn't leave me, he promised, so he would 'ave told me what was 'appening if one of you lot had got to him first"

The familiar feeling of panic swept over her, either they didn't seem able to hear what she was telling them, or they weren't listening anyhow, or more than likely it was that they didn't want to tell her what had happened to him. She wasn't holding his hand anymore and she couldn't hear anyone talking to him the way they was talking to her or hear him saying anything at all to anyone, and even when she made this big effort and called out he never answered, which scared the shit out of her even more. She had a very bad feeling about why no-one would tell her anything, why they wouldn't tell her where he was or what had happened to him, and all the time that she was worrying about Will, she could hear their voices muttering quietly to one another discussing how she seemed upset and whether they should sedate her to get her out. She made another huge effort, this time to just shut the fuck up and do what they was telling her, there was no way that she wanted to be sedated, thanks very much.

-OG-

Gemma was still standing next to him with her hand resting lightly on his arm, when there was a big flurry of activity at the search site, lots of calling out and shouting, which made everyone surge forward towards the barrier, including Charles. He had been doing his best to be polite and pleasant, to be as calmly professional as he could manage towards someone who, as far as he was concerned, not only needed to stop filling the silence with meaningless bloody chatter but also needed to take their hand off him. It was taking every bit of his stretched self-control to resist the temptation to slap her hand off his arm, or to jerk his arm away from her, he wished more than anything that she would just go away and leave him alone.

He stood and watched trying to maintain an outwardly detached amount of interest, the only thing that was betraying the level of his fear was the way he was constantly licking and chewing at his bottom lips. He became vaguely aware that Tom was waving his arms around and was obviously trying hard to attract someone's attention, but it was only when one or two of the people standing near him turned to look in his direction, curiosity and envy written in equal measures on their faces that he became alert to the fact that Tom was beckoning urgently in his direction. Without stopping to think he began to move towards the barrier, pushing Gemma's hand away his arm and then forging a path through the crowd of other people waiting, going past the guard at the barrier who stepped aside to let him past, not that it would have made a scrap of difference if the guard had tried to stop him, he would have pulled rank without the slightest hesitation. As soon as he was on the other side of the barrier he began to run, covering the ground towards the search site as fast as he could move on legs that felt completely leaden, as though he was trying to run a marathon through treacle.

"What? WHAT?"

"I really shouldn't be doing this, it's completely against … oh hell with it, I thought you'd want to know, Charles, your wife, her name's Molly, right? Well, they've just bringing a Molly out now" He stopped speaking and frowned as he scratched at the grey stubble appearing on his chin, he was another one who'd been up all night "Although on second thoughts perhaps I should have checked first that it's the right girl, the right Molly, I only hope I haven't jumped the gun here calling you over like this"

"Where, where is she? Sorry Tom, it's okay, don't worry" He patted the other man's arm, trying to sound reassuring that he wouldn't hold it against him if it turned out not to be her, although he couldn't breathe properly with the flood of adrenalin that was pouring through him "Oh and thanks, I'll just …." He jerked his head to indicate a spot a few yards away where he'd have a good view of what was going on.

The few minutes that followed were some of the longest he could ever remember. He was doing his best to stand still and wait for them to finish bringing her out without betraying the level of his agitation by pacing up and down or by yelling at them to crack on but it was hard to just stand and wait with an impassive expression on his face while being forced to listen to the wittering that the Chaplain obviously felt was appropriate in the circumstances.

-OG-

The journey out of her prison seemed to be over in a flash at the same time as taking forever. They'd put a neck collar on her then strapped her firmly to a spinal board to immobilise her completely as they slid her out of her trap, something that she hated with a passion because it meant she was back to not being able to move at all, and she'd sort of got used to being able to use her left hand to scratch her nose or being able to turn her head. She knew why they were doing it of course, and kept on telling herself that it was for her own good but that didn't make it any less horrible, so that she almost wished that she'd let them give her some nice drugs to put her out of it. One of the blokes that was carrying her stretcher, the nice one who'd let her have a tiny sip of water to wet her mouth after she'd begged and pleaded, told her it might be best if she closed her eyes, which she didn't need telling twice. The whole bloody thing was scary as hell because it all looked like it was going to give way any second, so that she made no attempt to open her eyes again until there was fresh clean air on her face at which point she found she couldn't open them because the bright sunlight was making them water so much. She was back to feeling her nose getting all blocked up and not being able to do a damned thing about it.

There was another flurry of activity, a lot of to and fro, and then there she was, Molly, strapped to one of the stretchers that they were passing from one group of rescuers to another taking her away from where he was standing towards the open doors of an ambulance, a collar on her neck and a strap across her forehead so that she couldn't turn her head and look from side to side which also meant that she couldn't see him. In any case he could see that her eyes were tightly screwed shut so that for a second he was afraid she was unconscious, but then realised that it was the light that was bothering her eyes as tears seeped out of the corners and ran down her face. One of the paramedics leaned across and dried her eyes but he obviously hadn't warned her that he was going to do it because she visibly jumped at his touch and said something to him, so that he held a tissue for her to blow her nose.

She said something else to him that Charles couldn't hear as the paramedic bent down to listen to her then shook his head patting her gently on her arm, before turning to smile as Charles reached her side and rubbed his knuckles lightly over her cheek. Her eyes flew open at his touch and then closed again just as rapidly as the light hit them, in that split second he saw how red and swollen and painfully sore they were as a fresh lot of tears started to spill over. He cupped her face gently in a hand that was shaking slightly and then wiped away the tears with his thumb.

"Hello, beautiful"

-OG-

_**A/N: Reunions, recriminations and trying to put lives back together – see you Monday, hope everyone has a lovely weekend.**_


	31. Chapter 31

"What you doing 'ere?" She tried hard to grin at him, struggling to get her eyes to open again, even a slit would be enough so that she could look at him, see if it really _was_ him this time and not another bloody dream as he bent over and kissed her, the tiniest brush of his lips onto hers, so that she pulled a face "Sorry, think I stink"

"I don't bloody care, all I care about is that you're out and that you're okay" He bent over to kiss her again horrified when he saw all the dried blood that was matted in her hair and by her ear and the cut and the deep purple bruise on her temple, and was becoming very aware that the paramedics were getting impatient, anxious to get her into the back of their ambulance which was waiting with its engine running, and off to hospital.

"I'm alright, don't worry about any of this shit" She tried her best to angle her chin down slightly to indicate the collar and the fact that she was strapped to a board "Don't worry about it, honestly I'm not hurt or nothing, really I'm not, but they don't bleeding well listen when you try and tell them stuff, just keep on saying that they've got to do it their way and check it all out"

"Are you being difficult? Just do as you're bloody told for once in your life, will you?" He was laughing softly as he said it then smirking at her even though he knew she couldn't see him, her eyes had closed tightly against the light again, but he couldn't stop himself, happiness and relief were written all over him even if he wasn't 100% sure of the accuracy of her self-diagnosis. He rested his hand back on her cheek then caressed her cheekbone with his thumb, glad to see that his hand was a lot steadier this time despite the fact that his heart was still racing as he turned to speak to the ambulance man who was standing alongside them "Where are you taking her?"

"Frimley Park"

"That'll be nice, you can see all your mates" He laughed at her soft exclamation of "Shit" and then turned and spoke to the paramedic, the one who'd wiped her eyes for her "She works there, she's a nurse" then turned back to look at her "Listen, I'll follow on and I'll see you there shortly, okay?"

"Nah, I mean yeah, but Charles I need you to do some'thing for me first, I need you to find out what's happened to William for me, William Harvey, he's a Captain 'n he was with me in there and now these won't tell me what's happened to him, or where he is or nothing" She tried to open her eyes again to check that he was still standing next to her and that he was listening and taking her seriously unlike the rescue team who had simply ignored the whole subject "I need to know that he got out okay"

"Hey, hey don't get upset, of course I will, I'll find out where he is and then I'll see you there, alright?"

Charles stood in the middle of the road and watched as the ambulance carried her away, blue light twirling then wanted to kick himself, he should have gone in the ambulance with her, everything else could have waited. He turned in order to rush back to where he'd left the car a lifetime ago and practically fell over Tom who was still standing directly behind him, but now had the widest possible smile pasted across his face. Charles put out a hand and grasped Tom's arm above the elbow as he murmured his heartfelt thanks, the man had got on every single one of his nerves earlier, something that Charles was now slightly contrite about, he'd known at the time that Tom meant well, not that that had made a jot of difference to how irritating he was at the time, but he'd well and truly redeemed himself now..

"Captain Harvey? William? Any news on him at all, Tom? Is he out do we know? Apparently he was with my wife and she's worried because no-one seems able to tell her if he got out okay"

"Chap with the leg?"

Charles shrugged and said that he had no idea, Molly hadn't mentioned anything to him about this William being injured, just that he'd been with her as Tom consulted his clipboard and ran his fingernail over the page in order to check the name against the names on the casualty list.

"Yup, out, gone off to Frimley but he was unconscious when they got him out, very nasty leg so I'm not sure whether he was out of it because of that or whether they'd knocked him out to move him" Tom shrugged and winced, giving a sharp intake of breath as he sucked his teeth "He was still with us, well when they got him out anyway, didn't look good though"

Charles wasn't looking forward to telling Molly anything other than that William was out, but knew that there was absolutely no point in him lying or trying to fudge the truth, she would inevitably hear about him from one of her colleagues, and she was bound to ask after him as soon as he told her about them taking William to Frimley. She would be bloody furious if she thought he'd spared her, protected her or something and she would know the prognosis for someone with a severe injury that was left untreated for all that time in a dirty environment, there was no way he could pull that particular wool over her eyes.

He completely forgot that Molly's friend Gemma would probably still be waiting for him in the crowd by the barrier, in fact he'd forgotten about her altogether as he walked as steadily and quickly as he could manage round the back of the buildings to the car park where he'd abandoned the car the previous night, before sitting down on the kerbside out of the view of the prying eyes of any casual passer-by or idle on-looker. e He was hunched over as he sat there, head down, arms dangling between his knees while he took some very deep breaths in an attempt to clear the nausea and muzzy light-headedness and to stop the tears of relief that were prickling at the backs of his eyes before they did what they were threatening to do and spilled over.

-OG-

Eventually, and to her unutterable relief the A&amp;E team who were looking after her decided to free her from the neck collar and then to remove the spinal board, but even that and in spite of seeing Charles by the roadside Molly still felt as if she was floating in some bubble of unreality, like she was in some sort of dream. And she couldn't imagine why she hadn't known that travelling by ambulance was such a bloody nightmare, she'd never thought about it before but it was so uncomfortable that she'd been back to feeling as though she needed to sit up, that she was going to puke at any second, although what the hell she had to puke was very debateable, probably nothing. But, and even though she hadn't eaten anything for more than twenty four hours, she wasn't in the slightest bit hungry, she didn't want anything to eat, she was just unbelievably thirsty, but they kept on saying 'in a minute' which she knew logically was in case she needed an anaesthetic, but it still made her want to hit someone.

They kept on and on about how jammy she was, they seemed to be expecting some sort of euphoria because she'd apparently got away with bruises and lots of scrapes and grazes but without any major injury at all, although when they'd touched her legs for the first time she'd badly wanted to scream at them to bloody pack it in and to ask what the fuck they thought they were doing. Her legs were incredibly sore, one huge enormous bloody mass of excruciatingly painful black and purple and red bruises, which all ran together, swollen and tender with bruises on top of bruises as well as bruises in places she didn't know you could get bruises, but apparently nothing was actually broken. The same went for the rest of her, for her stomach and her back and for her chest, everything was badly bashed about, bruised and battered but, according to the x-rays and the scans, she had no internal injuries to speak of at all. Her eyes had been bathed so that all the crap had been washed away and then some soothing drops were put in, or they said they was soothing even though Molly thought they stung like hell, so lucky her, apparently, or so they kept saying. But, and she didn't want to seem ungrateful or nothing, she didn't feel anything like as lucky as they seemed to think she should so that she made a little vow to herself that she would never again tell a patient that they were lucky.

She felt like she was back to being five years old again so that all she wanted to do was to crawl into someone's lap like she used to, probably Nan's, and feel their arms go round her as they told her to go to sleep and that she would feel much better in the morning.

Hearing Charles talking to someone outside the cubicle increased the urgency she had to get all the people milling about to please piss off and leave her with just the one nurse, the one they called Bridge, which she presumed was short for Bridget, someone that she didn't know very well at all, well only knew her by sight, which suited Molly just fine. She needed her help, and she couldn't seem to stop cringing at the thought of explaining what she needed, all about needing to change her tampon, in front of all these people, some of whom she worked with day in day out, or even in front of Charles, which was bleeding ridiculous when they'd been married for about a hundred years, but it felt like another indignity, a bit like wetting herself had been ….

-OG-

There was complete silence to start with like the world was holding its breath and then she started to fall, and was falling over and over and over and over again but this time she didn't stop, she just kept on falling into this dark and bottomless pit until suddenly she woke up. She was totally disorientated in that same dream of not knowing where she was or who was there with her and on top she was pouring with cold sweat as she could feel and hear her own heart pounding. She still had the clip on her finger to monitor oxygen and a drip in her arm pumping her full of fluid to help with the dehydration, but had no clue what her pulse rate was doing, and try as she might her fingers were far too slippery with sweat for her to be able to check, but it was obviously scarily high.

As she lay without moving concentrating on just breathing in and out until her heart slowly stopped pounding and went back to near normal so that she turned her head and saw that he'd kept his promise and hadn't left her there alone, that he was fast asleep in the chair next to her bed, looking dead uncomfortable. His long legs were stretched out in front of him, feet crossed over at the ankles but the lines of worry and the furrows that had been on his face earlier had all been smoothed out by sleep as his eyelashes fanned out on his cheekbones, his breathing regular and quiet as he slept.

Charles had been sitting next to her holding onto her hand stroking the backs of her fingers when the A&amp;E boss man had explained that they'd like to keep her in for a couple of days, that they couldn't make her, of course, as she'd instantly started to argue the toss, to protest that she just wanted to go home, to sleep in her own bed. He'd told her that they didn't want to keep her in for long, that it was just a precaution because of keeping an eye on her kidneys, that they wanted to give her fluids because she was dehydrated and to make sure there weren't any signs of infection from all the flesh wounds, so that in the end she'd reluctantly agreed to stay, albeit with very bad grace. She had a very strong suspicion that she was being humoured and hated it.

Now, as she watched him sleep she wondered how soon she'd be able to get up and go and find William, go and see if he really was okay. Charles had told her all about him being out, and how they'd drugged him up to the eyeballs, knocked him out so that his leg wouldn't hurt him anymore than it already did, and how he was now in one of the rooms here, but he hadn't known which one obviously. She wasn't sure whether she was up to walking up and down the corridors looking for him, not to mention that there was this bloody drip in her arm, so that the best plan would be for her to wait until Gem started her shift and then get her help.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, didn't realise you was awake, you look bleeding uncomfortable, in fact you look like shit, what '_**AVE**_ you been doing?"

She smiled as she joked doing her level best to be normal, to take the piss out of him, there was still this air of 'other worldliness' about it all as far as she was concerned, as though she should pinch herself to see if she was still dreaming. He'd put his arms round her and held her close as soon as they'd put her to bed in this room, or at least he'd tried to hug her, but it had been very difficult for him to find even a little bit of her that wasn't too bruised for him to hold onto, everything was so painful. In the end she'd laid back on the pillows while he stroked her hair back from her forehead until she'd drifted off to sleep.

"Not much" He laughed, doing his best to follow her lead in the use of words and tone of voice "I'd come and lie on the bed next to you, but I don't want to shock the staff"

"Nah, best not, I have to order them about normally" She giggled, for the first time he thought she sounded like Molly "They call you 'sex-on-legs' as it is, bugger, shouldn't have said that, should I? Must be the drugs" She was referring to the fact that they'd insisted that they had to stand over her while she swallowed two pain killers.

"Lovely, thanks for that, now I've got to go out there and look them in the eye" He snorted a laugh "And I never thought a couple of paracetamol could be that good"

"What made you think they was paracetamol? Go on, bugger off and get yourself home, go and have a bit of a kip, you look knackered"

-OG-

"Hello, how you doing?"

"I'd know that voice anywhere, come on then, come in where I can see you" He turned his head on the pillow and looked over towards the doorway where she'd pushed open the door a little bit and was now standing silhouetted against the brighter light of the corridor "You look exactly how I thought you would"

"That's cheatin' Will, you already saw me before it all went bloody pear-shaped"

"Oh yes so I did, I'd forgotten that"

"No you hadn't" She walked over to the bed and peered at him, pretending to inspect him closely "You don't anything like I expected, you look nothing like Clark Kent, so how are you anyway, how's the leg?"

"Very funny, and my leg's fine, do you know they have bloody lovely drugs in this hospital, as soon as something starts to hurt a bit along they come and give you some more, I'm thinking of seeing if I can take some home with me, you never know when they might come in handy"

"Hard luck, they're not here to turn you into a junkie, so, is your mum here yet? And what about your sister, have you called her, is she coming to see you now that you're a bleeding hero?"

"My mum will be here later and I haven't told my sister, anyway I'm not a hero, Molly, far from it"

"If you say so" There was a long silence as Molly blushed then blurted out "You are to me" She hadn't meant to say anything like that to him, not that she didn't mean it she felt like he'd saved her life or at least her sanity, but she hadn't meant to embarrass the fuck out of him.

"I thought that you told me you worked here"

"I do"

"Nice uniform"

Molly looked down at the hospital issue dressing gown and giggled "We like 'em … and I'm not working at the moment am I? I'm a patient like you are, dickhead"

"Nice, what happened to Sir or Mate?"

"You're not a bloody officer in 'ere, you're a patient same as me, and anyhow you shouldn't be surprised, I told you I'd got a shit bedside manner, didn't I?" She took a deep breath "Look, I'd better go, I didn't tell anyone where I was going, well only me mate Gem and she'll be in the shit if they find me missing, probably send out another search party, I'll do me best to come and see you again later"

"Okay, and Molly ….."

"What?"

"Thanks for coming to see me"

"You're welcome"

-OG-

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews they are what keep me going, I will do my very best to get Chapter32 up as soon as I possibly can. **_


	32. Chapter 32

"I just need to, that's all, I want to see that he's okay, I don't expect you to understand Gem, I just need you to tell me where he is, I can manage apart from that"

"Yeah, but why?"

She didn't want to explain anything to Gemma and couldn't understand why she had to, it was none of her business, anyway she didn't know where to start to explain even if she'd wanted to, she wasn't sure that she understood it herself. She didn't know why it was so bloody important or why she hadn't wanted to ask Charles to help, it was just that it seemed like it was. It weren't only that she felt bad for Will that he'd never said about having anyone significant in his life, he'd never said about a girlfriend or nothing, only that he was divorced with no kids, and that his family didn't live anywhere near so they couldn't just drop everything and get there at the drop of a hat, she didn't like the thought of him being on his own, and anyway she just wanted to see him.

She'd been stuck in a little room, bored shitless when she wasn't falling asleep, which was a lot of the time, and when Charles wasn't there. He was going to ask for compassionate when she went home but in the meantime she'd had far too much time on her own to just _think_, and it had been more than two long days before Gemma had finally put in an appearance so that Molly could ask her, she knew she could have asked one of the others, but was afraid that it would start some ….. gossip. Gemma had been working in A&amp;E, covering for the staff seeing to the bomb victims, like her and William, so that she'd been given some time off to make up. She told Molly that she'd spent some of it with Charles, had been keeping him company while he'd waited, which Molly wasn't 100% sure she was happy about, even though she pretended that she was fine with it. It felt like it would be a bit sort of _off _to start getting all shitty about, well, nothing really, but it just didn't feel right. It wasn't that she didn't trust Charles or anything like that, but if she was being entirely honest she wasn't 100% sure that she trusted Gemma. She'd had this little sneaky feeling somewhere in her gut for a while now that Gemma wouldn't say no even though he was her husband which made him well out of bounds.

Molly walked very slowly back to her room after she left Will, it seemed like a very long way to walk on legs that still didn't quite belong to her, they were a bit shivery and shaky so that she felt like she was older than Nan, and on top of that they were so incredibly bleeding painful to touch that she'd cried with it when she'd been in the shower that morning. Not that she'd told anyone, it weren't like they could wave a magic wand and make it all go away or anything and she certainly weren't going to keep on swallowing drugs like they were smarties, so she'd carried on insisting that she was fine. She had very mixed feelings at the prospect of leaving here now that they were talking about sending her home, on the one hand the thought of sleeping in her own bed with her own stuff round her was like some goal she could see in front of her, it would be bloody heaven not to have to try and sleep through all the racket that went on in here at night, a few nights of trying to sleep in the middle of Oxford Circus was enough for anyone, something she was going to talk about with the rest of the staff when life got back to normal, whatever normal was. But the other thing, and she didn't want to think about it too closely, was that she'd be on extended sick leave when she got out of here which meant that she wouldn't be able to see William, well not easily anyhow, and that felt all wrong to her for some reason.

-OG-

They were standing there laughing together when she got back to her room and Gemma had her hand on his arm as she was saying something to him which made him throw his head back and laugh out loud, and it looked, well to Molly's suspicious gaze it did, like she was standing a little bit too close to him, so that the little qualm of suspicion and envy was magnified in her head. What the fuck? The pair of them seemed to her to be enjoying whatever it was they were talking about, enjoying it a bit too much, so that she immediately wondered what was so bloody funny … was it her? She felt flat and dull in comparison, not to mention tired and pathetic and weepy, as if she couldn't quite remember _fun _anymore.

"Here she is, knight in shining armour okay is he? Told you he was, didn't I?" Gamma didn't wait for an answer, just turned back to look up at Charles, her hand still resting on his arm as she put her other hand up to push a stray lock of her blonde bob back behind her ear "Didn't believe me did she? Had to go and check him out for herself"

"I don't remember that, Gem, when was that we had that conversation?" Molly stared pointedly at her hand on his arm with her eyebrows raised until she had the grace to remove it "And who said he was any kind of any knight in any sort of armour, what you talking about?"

"It was just a little joke Molly, don't take everything so seriously"

Charles moved out of reach of her hand and then looked doubtfully from one to the other, there was a strange strained atmosphere between the two of them which he wasn't sure that he understood, he'd certainly never noticed it before today, they'd always seemed to him to be really good friends, but he didn't much like Gemma's new habit of being very tactile around him.

"Hello beautiful, I wondered where you'd got to when I found your room was empty, Gemma was just explaining where you'd gone"

"Yeah I heard" Molly made an instant resolution that Gemma was never going to be invited to their house again, never, ever, not under any circumstances whatsoever, did she think that Molly was completely brain dead or something? She looked pointedly at his combats "Thought you was s'posed to be at work this morning? What you doing 'ere?"

"That's a nice welcome" Molly could have kicked herself and felt the tears prickle at the back of her eyes "I just popped in to tell you that Dad's going to call in and see you on his way back to Bath"

"You didn't have to come in, you could have phoned, left a message, and what about Beth?" She wanted to stop sounding like some sour, miserable old whatsit, but couldn't seem to as she sent another suspicious little glance in Gemma's direction, she wanted to tell her to piss off, to ask her why she was still standing there, hadn't she got any work to go and get on with?

"Yup, you're right, I could have done, if you ever got round to switching your bloody phone on that is, and this way I get to see you to give you a hug as well, oh and Mum's stopping on for a few days, says she's going to look after you when they throw you out of here so right now she's busy washing and ironing every stitch we possess and polishing every inch of the bloody house, exhausts me just watching her"

"Charles?"

"Yup?"

"Haven't got a bloody phone anymore 'ave I? It's under the admin block, innit?"

"Oh shit, Moll, I'm sorry"

-OG-

"Hello my little chicken, I have to say it's lovely to have you all to myself, come here and make an old man very happy"

Martin had cracked the same joke every time he'd seen her over the years so that Molly instantly felt better, as though things were somehow back to _normal_ as she sat on the edge of the bed and he gave her one of his noisy smacking kisses on the cheek making a real meal out of it as he always did and then stood back and waited with eyebrows raised and an expectant look on his face for the reply that she always gave him.

"I can't see an old man anywhere, 'ello Martin, it's lovely to see you too"

She went back to lying on top of the bed and propped herself up against the pillows, feeling ridiculously exhausted as Martin drew up the chair next to her and rested his elbows alongside her legs where her dressing gown had fallen open displaying them for the world to see until she tucked it over herself again. He moved his glasses down to perch them on the end of his nose, then pushed her gown away a fraction and peered over the top of his specs to take a good long look at her legs which, although a lot less swollen than they had been, still looked very battered and were still a mass of colourful bruising.

"Saw just this sort of thing when Beth dragged me to the Tate Modern" He took a quick peep at her face to make sure that he wasn't going too far and upsetting her "We should display these chicken, make ourselves a fortune"

"What, you think we should cut me legs off and stick 'em in the Tate Modern?"

"Now there's no need for you to be silly" He was trying very hard to keep a completely straight face and looked at her with his best 'stern' expression as he peered over the top of his glasses at the way she was giggling "Cutting your legs off would be a bit extreme and it would probably be a bit messy as well, so maybe we could take some photos on my phone, you and I, and then sell them to that Nigella's old man, you know whatshisname, although come to think of it they might be divorced now, but anyway, never mind about all that we can easily find out" He stopped waffling as he listened to her giggles and looked down at her legs and then up at her face again "We could call it Modern Art, tell you we'd make a fortune"

"What would Beth say?" Molly's face was alight with the sort of laughter that he hadn't seen for a long time, he and Beth had thought for a while that she'd lost a bit of her sparkle.

"Wasn't going to tell her" He smiled again then winked, making him look so like Charles that her breath hitched in her throat "Thought it could be our secret, you don't think we should give anyone else a cut do you?"

"Nah" She was still giggling "I do love you Martin, you know that don't you?"

"Of course you do, I'm exceedingly loveable" He pushed his glasses back up and then slid them down his nose so he could peer at her again "That's not what my wife calls me is it?"

"Nah not really" She was still giggling at him "Maybe if you stopped winding her up it would 'elp"

"Not on your life, that's all the fun I get these days" He was doing his best to sound hard done by but failing as a smile spread across his face "So have Belinda and the lovely Marge been down to see you yet?"

"Bloody hell Martin, have a bleeding heart, I'm ill, injured, in hospital, have to be a bit stronger before I can cope with me Nan" She pulled a face to show that she was joking although underneath she wished that they had been to visit, she could still do with that hug and with someone telling her that she'd feel better in the morning "They're gonna come down when I get home"

"That'll be nice" He wasn't really thinking about her family making a visit, he was too busy debating with himself about whether or not to say anything about what was on his mind, it was none of his business after all, but he had promised Beth he would try and have a word as he was going to be alone with her, with no audience. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong, Chicken? Going to tell me where that girl is, the one who forced me to look at women's knickers in Sainsbury's?"

"I don't remember forcing you, think you'll find it was all your idea" She was still smiling, although it was beginning to feel slightly strained "And I 'aven't had the best week ever"

"Why, what happened?" He shook his head indicating he didn't expect her to answer "I wasn't talking about you getting yourself blown up by some cretin with nothing better to do with his time, I was talking about the last few weeks, or if I'm being honest, you haven't been the Molly we know and love for months now, so don't say _nothing,_ tell your nice father-in-law why you're not your usual self"

"You're not nice, and really there's nothing to tell you, there's nothing wrong, it's just that, you know, we work bleeding hard 'n get a bit tired 'n that, it's nothing, don't worry"

For a moment she was very tempted to tell him, to just talk about how miserable she was, and how disappointed and how it had become such an _issue _for her every month and how tired she was of hiding the way she felt about it but then stopped herself in time. She hadn't even said anything to Charles about it, not properly, she didn't want to hear him say that it didn't matter about them having kids, that it was her he loved, well, she did want to hear all that, but she wanted him to understand how she felt about being such an epic fail. She couldn't tell Martin and not him, and anyhow there was absolutely no way that Martin wouldn't tell Beth who would be bloody heartbroken that there weren't going to be the babies she craved, and Molly wasn't at all sure that she could cope with Beth's disappointment as well as her own.

"Well, if you're sure?" He patted her hand, knowing full well that she was lying to him "If you want to talk, Chicken, you know where I am" He stood up and started patting his pockets on the hunt for the car keys which were on the bed right in front of him where he'd put them when he first sat down so that Molly picked them up and put them in his hand "Now I'd better get going, it's a long drive and I've got to get myself ready to go back to work and I need to do some shopping when I get home" He laughed "I can eat what I want for dinner tonight and then I can watch what I like, can even go to bed when I want to" He looked at Molly as she giggled "I'm not saying that Beth is bossy, I wouldn't dare, but you know how she keeps on saying that she wants me to retire, well, between you and me I'm not sure about that, she does like to organise" He pretended to be considering things for a second "She could get a job running North Korea if that little fat bloke ever got fed up"

"I'll tell her that you said that"

"No you won't"

-OG-

She'd felt a bit bad when Charles had come to collect her because she hadn't been sitting there waiting for him. She'd meant to be, she was all ready, bag all packed, stuff all put together, it was just that she'd wanted to go and say goodbye to Will, just to tell him, well remind him really, cos she knew she'd already told him that she was going home today, but that she would be back to visit as soon as she could.

He'd known exactly where she was when he'd gone to collect her with a big grin in his face and had arrived to find the door standing open and the room empty with her bag packed all ready to go. It didn't even occur to him that she could be in the loo or that she might be in one of the clinical rooms saying goodbye to the other girls, he was sure that she was with him again.

He had no intention of going to look for her, he was going to just wait and look out of the window at the activity in the car park until she remembered that he was coming in this morning to collect her. He'd thought long and hard about making William's acquaintance, to show Molly that he understood the bond they'd forged, and from the little she'd told him it would seem that William had kept her going and for that Charles was endlessly grateful, but he hadn't actually done it. He knew he should have done, if only to prove to her that he wasn't going back on the promise he'd made all that time ago about not being jealous, even though, in fact, the opposite was true. As he stood waiting, his gut was full of the same bitter churning jealousy that he'd felt when Smurf had been part of her life.

All that time she'd been in Birmingham he hadn't had the slightest concern about anything, but this was different and he couldn't say why, just that it was. She'd mixed with all sorts of blokes, socialised with them, been to the pub and parties and had watched them play sports, had stood out in the rain and the cold and cheered them on even though she privately assessed them as being mostly bloody useless, she'd even got rat-arsed with them on occasion, but he'd never worried about any of it, or any of them.

-OG-

Everything felt a bit odd as she sat in the car with him and just _looked_ at the outside of their house, at the way all the windows glinted and sparkled in the sun, at the way someone, obviously Beth, had weeded the front garden, at how the bedroom windows were all wide open and then the front door swung open and Beth was hurrying down the path towards them. She was home, somewhere that she'd been afraid she was never going to see again, so why didn't it feel …. right? Beth was hassling Charles to get him to hurry up, for them to get in the house, that she had the coffee on, and that there was a nice cuppa waiting in the pot for Molly, that she knew exactly what hospital tea was like, so that Molly forced what she hoped was a _normal _smile to her lips and concentrated on getting out of the car and putting one foot in front of the other to go into the house. Her house, her home, somewhere that she shared with Charles, somewhere that she'd left to go to work not even a week ago, it was only last Monday for fuck sake, so that nothing had changed, it hadn't had time, but it seemed to her like everything had.

Even though Charles had his hand on her shoulder, someone who she knew loved her to bits, and even though her mother-in-law, someone else that she knew loved her, was fussing round her and chattering away nineteen to the dozen, not that Molly could have told anyone what she was actually saying, because all she kept on noticing was that Beth was giving her strange little looks when she thought Molly wasn't watching. Molly knew she was acting a bit weird and was worrying them, but she couldn't think what to do or what to say to make things right, so she just sat there drinking tea and wondered whether everything in her life was ever going to stop being so shit.

-OG-


	33. Chapter 33

_**A/N: Thank you for your kind words, your reviews are what keep me going. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend, see you Monday I hope, unless R/L or Mr Branson with his crap broadband puts a spanner in the works. **_

-OG-

The doctor hadn't answered, he'd just made a steeple with his fingers as he looked at her, quizzical smile on his face which had made her want to deck him. He'd royally pissed her off with the way he was looking at her and the way that he'd lifted one eyebrow when she'd asked. She didn't want a prescription for anti-depressants, counselling or more rest or any other bloody thing that he kept banging on about for fuck sake, she just wanted to go back to work so that she could start to feel normal again. That was all she'd asked him for, to let her go back so that she'd have something to do which would mean people would stop _looking_ at her like that. Physically she was getting there, the bruises were fading, more slowly then she would of liked, but still, and the soreness in her back and stomach when she stood up or moved too quick was much, much better, while that dream where she was _falling _had almost stopped now, well, it wasn't every time she closed her eyes anyhow and of course she knew what Post Traumatic bleeding Stress was, she was in the army wasn't she, she just didn't have it.

She'd tried everything she knew to convince him that she had enough energy to do what she needed to and that she wasn't depressed or anything, why would she be for fuck sake, she was full of the joys of Spring her, but he hadn't really listened to a single word, had just signed her off for another two weeks which made her want to scream. She'd come out of his office full of anger with a deep suspicion that one of the people who were supposed to love her had rung him and said something about her being difficult and awkward and a miserable cow at home, even though she couldn't think which one of them would have done something like that and not told her.

The old fool didn't seem to get that she could cope just fine with everything, with the house, well, maybe not to Beth's standards exactly but to hers and the shopping 'n the cooking 'n that, but if she wasn't allowed to go back to work she wished more than anything, much as she loved her, that Beth would just get herself off home to Bath, would go back to bossing Martin about instead of her. She was still lovely Beth, kind and everything, but she made no secret of the fact that she was worried about her and that she didn't understand or approve of her friendship with William and that she approved even less of her going to see him. Not that she said anything exactly, she just pulled faces and shook her head as if she was disappointed in her_. _Actually,Molly had only managed to get in to see him once during the week that Charles had been home with her on compassionate, a very fleeting visit that had felt a bit fraught, mainly because it was difficult to relax when she was so bothered about Charles waiting outside in the car.

In the last week she'd recovered enough not to need help, so she'd been able to drive herself in to see him. Beth hadn't liked it but there was only so much time that Molly could spend putting all her stuff onto her new phone before she got bored and frustrated with trying to remember details of some of the stuff that she'd lost when her old one went to mobile heaven, actually she still kept hoping someone would find it as they cleared the site. She'd had the promised visit from her mum and Nan which hadn't gone as well as she would have hoped, as soon as they'd all got over the hugs and the tears from her mother and the 'Well you don't look that bad to me' shit from Nan and the message from Dave about how she must be entitled to compo from the army and that he would help her to make a claim, words that made her giggle for the first time in days. She could almost see the way his face would have lit up as he'd have rubbed his hands in anticipation of his share of some pay out, but then she'd run out of things to talk about, couldn't think of anything to say, especially as Beth was sitting there listening so she couldn't just lie and pretend everything was back to normal.

Belinda obviously noticed when she started struggling because she asked whether she'd been to see Suzie yet, saying that she should, that she would enjoy spending time with one of her oldest mates and Molly had nodded and smiled and said that she would do that, that it was a great idea, but even as she said it, she knew that she wouldn't. She'd already thought about it and dismissed it, much as she loved Suzie, missed talking to her, they had spent a lot of hours talking about stuff in the past, but Suzie had three kids at home and Molly couldn't imagine spending a day at hers. Suzie knew her well enough to know that there was something very wrong and she would be like a bleeding terrier till she got at the truth.

She didn't think Beth had said anything to Charles about how she was worried and about what she thought, well, there wasn't anything to tell that he didn't already know, she hadn't exactly made it a secret that she'd been to the hospital to see William, but there was this strange atmosphere between her and him, almost as though they were skirting around each other, as if they polite strangers and it was killing her, it was like torture and she knew it was her fault. She hadn't said a word to him about pissed she was about Gemma, nothing about how suspicious she was of her motives, and she hadn't kicked off and filled him in on what a bleeding little trollop Gemma was even though it was what she was really _itching_ to do. Underneath she knew she was over-reacting, but couldn't seem to help it. She'd seen Gem when she'd been in to see Will and the other girl had had this knowing smirk on her face that had made Molly's palms itch with an urge to just step up and slap it off of her gob. It was incredibly difficult to even be civil.

In the space of a couple of weeks she'd gone from quite liking Gem, thinking she was actually a lot of fun as well as a friend, to bloody hating her, seeing her as some sort of predatory man–eating slapper. She didn't care if she was being unreasonable, she didn't actually know whether she'd bloody tried it on with him or not, she didn't think she had somehow, and anyhow Charles wouldn't, even when she was at her lowest she knew that, but she couldn't help the way she felt even if she couldn't explain it.

Saying thank you and goodbye meant her and Charles standing together on the path doing their best to look like they were a sort of rock solid couple as they got all ready to wave his parents off, and Molly was suddenly deeply sorry that she hadn't appreciated her mother-in-law's help the way she should have. Martin was dead right when he'd said that Beth loved to organise and that she was bloody good at it, and Molly should know if anyone did, she'd been glad enough of it when she'd let Beth do everything for their wedding, so that now she felt guilty at how bloody relieved she was to see her get in the car and go home with Martin who'd come up to collect her.

The trouble was that despite the fact that she was so irritable and sort of edgy the whole time, she had to try and get things sorted so that they could get back to normal, they couldn't just go on the way they were and there was no way they could have done anything to sort it with Beth in the house, the only place they had any privacy at all was in the bedroom with the bloody door shut and even there they'd have had to whisper. At the moment they were living in the house like they were brother and sister, he was loving and kind and considerate, smiled at her a lot and kept on telling her not to overdo things, but it was like they were treading on eggshells, well he was because in return she was sulky and stroppy and horrible and she knew she was doing it, but couldn't seem to stop. They were sleeping with a two foot gap between them every night which wasn't going to help solve anything. One thing, she certainly wasn't going to get pregnant any time soon while this was going on, or maybe that was the way he wanted it. She just didn't know anymore, but she wouldn't actually blame him if that was what he thought.

"I'm sorry"

"What for?"

"Everything, you know, the way I've been 'n that, I know I've been a bit …. dunno, a bit shit, miserable, I s'pose, 'n I know I made things awkward with Beth and I'm sorry 'bout that as well"

"Don't be, mum understands, I mean it's alright, things have been …. difficult for you and we know that"

"Been talking about me 'ave you, you and your mum?"

They'd finished the dinner which Molly had cooked, just a simple pasta dish which she'd then pushed around her plate without eating more than a couple of mouthfuls, her appetite, which had vanished under the admin block, hadn't made any sort of re-appearance so that she was losing weight fast, although that evening she was making up for not eating by drinking glass after glass of red wine, much to Charles consternation.

"Molly, she's worried about you, we're all worried about you … and I think you should take it a bit easy" He inclined his head in the direction of her glass "Unless you're absolutely sure that the booze will mix okay with the tablets the doctor's given you"

"I'm sure …. not taking them anyhow, don't bloody need happy pills ….. " She squinted as she tried to upend the empty bottle into her glass, then grimaced and peered into the top of it checking that it had actually all gone when the last few drops had gone in the glass "Bugger"

"Molly, the tablets are not going to do you any good if you don't take them, are they?" Charles shook his head and bit his bottom lip in an attempt to stifle the laugh that was trying to escape in spite of himself then put his hand out to help her to her feet, a hand which she batted away in favour of struggling to stand upright under her own steam before swaying slightly "And I think you've probably had enough of that now, don't you?"

"Don't patronise me, and don't be so bleeding bossy, I thought bloody bossy boots 'ad gone home, but seems like it runs in the bleeding family dunnit? And when you do that it makes me want to hit you"

"Which one of me are you going to hit?"

He was struggling not to laugh and then gave in and smirked at her as she looked at him blearily trying to focus at the same time as trying not to giggle.

"Both"

"Bed, I think, come on I'll get you some water"

She was sitting with her head against the pillows that she'd piled up to lean against the headboard and had loosened her hair from the casual ponytail that had been holding it back off her face so that it cascaded over her shoulders making her look almost exactly as she had the first time he'd slept with her, except that she wasn't looking at him this time because her eyes were tightly screwed shut. As he stood in the doorway, packet of paracetamol in one hand and glass of water in the other he watched her without saying a word, horribly afraid that he might be losing her, or in fact that he might have lost her already.

"Here"

He sat on the side of the bed and popped two painkillers out of the strip putting them in her hand as she looked up, the sea-green eyes that he loved so much were slightly bloodshot and unfocused as he held the glass for her to take a mouthful in order to wash the tablets down and then shook his head.

"Get undressed and get into bed, try to get some sleep"

He put out his hand to smooth her hair back from her forehead, doing his level best to ignore the urgent signal that his body was screaming at him as soon as he touched her. She inclined her head towards his hand and closed her eyes again so that he knew he really should get out of there while he still could, it had been a very long time and he'd missed her badly so that his reaction was instantaneous and intense.

"Thanks for the water 'n you know, looking after me 'n everything, what about you, where you going?"

"Nowhere, I'm not going anywhere, come on get into bed, you'll feel better after a good sleep"

The mattress on the bed vibrated as she struggled to pull off her clothing making him have to turn his back and bite his lower lip in order to stop himself from just turning round and helping her, he had to clench his fists and dig his fingernails into his palms to stop himself from just touching her, if he touched her then he'd be done for.

He moved round and stretched himself out on the bed next to her and waited for his erection to go away, he was sorely tempted to pick up a pillow and put it over his groin until he realised that she wouldn't notice it, she wasn't looking at him. She'd closed her eyes tightly again as they lay there next to each other in silence and listened to some people outside who were talking and laughing loudly in the street. They heard a car door slam and then someone drive off into the night, tooting the horn in farewell as they drove away.

"Noisy buggers"

"Indeed"

He turned his head to look at her, at the way her eyelids were fluttering and the peaceful sleepy expression that had begun to spread across her face, then reached over and felt her smooth skin under the hard pads of his fingers as he smoothed stray strands of her hair away from her eyes where they were irritating her, she'd tried in vain to blow them off her face several times so that she sighed with gentle contentment at his touch.

"You always smell so nice, why do you always smell so nice? Even first thing in the bloody morning"

"I have no idea"

He'd laughed softly and shaken his head at what she'd just murmured at him, her eyes were still firmly shut so that she was almost at the point of dropping off to sleep. He hadn't planned it, he'd actually been determined to do the opposite, not to touch her, but he didn't stop to think before he did it, he just stared at the face that was so flushed and beautiful on the pillow next to his and leaned forward to lightly brush his lips against hers, almost as though he was _tasting_ her. The feeling, the sensations created in him when her soft breath warmed his skin made pleasure fly straight to his groin. The minute his lips had touched hers her eyes flew open so that she was staring up into his deep brown ones for a second or two, before throwing her arms round his neck and pulling him against her, making him crash his mouth against hers. Every inch of him was gloriously awake and reacting.

He ran his hand down her body, brushed his fingers lightly over her breast then made the mattress dip as he rolled over and rested on his elbows above her, looking into her eyes, his hips scraping against hers so that she could feel just how hard he was as his fingertips brushed down her side again in light feathery strokes that made her nipples harden instantly. She began to gyrate and grind against him, closing her eyes again as she did it and then put her head back when she felt the way his body reacted to her touch, before allowing a tiny moan to escape, a sound that filled him with the most frightening emotion he'd ever known, hope.

Hope that nothing had changed irrevocably between them, that she still loved him the same way she'd always done, that they still needed one another and that this, whatever it was, with William was just temporary ….

-OG-


	34. Chapter 34

"Look at me, open your eyes, I need to see your eyes"

The dizziness in her head had nothing to do with all the wine she'd sunk, it was the sound of his voice murmuring in her ear begging her to look at him as she slid her hands into his hair and twined them in his curls then tugging them slightly as she'd pulled his head down towards hers. He'd touched and stroked, his hands followed by his lips on her breasts, his teeth grazing her nipples which had made her arch her back towards him, and then he'd gone back to kissing her neck and her mouth before he'd moaned and murmured against her ear. She was biting her lip, desperate to get her brain to switch off, to stop thinking and to lose herself in him just because she desperately wanted to make love to him and not for any other reason. She wanted to feel the way that she always used to feel when they made love, and just for once she wished her mind would just shut the hell up. She wound her legs round his back and hooked her heels together to drag him in until she stopped thinking at all, just concentrated on the sensations that were building in her until she peaked and cried out, burying her head in the damp dip of his neck as the waves and waves of pleasure crashed over her, stifling her cries in his flesh as her body clenched hard against him.

And then it was over. And despite both of them clinging onto every last lingering moment of pleasure their breathing slowly returned to normal as she lay naked under him, neither of them panted harshly any more as his skin lay heavy on her body and her wet sticky thighs cradled him. He lifted his head to look at her, a deep frown furrowing his forehead until he smiled into her eyes, the lazy loving smile that she had missed more than she could say "I have missed you so much, Mrs James, I thought I'd lost you there for a bit"

"I've missed you too" She grinned and then laughed out loud "For a bit there I thought I was a gonner too ….. but should of known shouldn't I? Cat with nine lives, that's me"

"I didn't actually mean ….. it's alright it doesn't matter" His voice was suddenly full of loving concern as he remembered about her last remaining bruises, worried now that he might have hurt her as he smiled another of the smiles that always got to her. Molly had always told him that she'd do anything as long as he asked her with that smile on his face. "Are you okay, I didn't hurt you did I?" He tucked her hair back behind her ears "And I for one am bloody glad that you have got nine lives, just don't put them to the test will you?"

"Try not to, and you didn't hurt me, I'd of told you to pack it in if you had"

She put her hand up and put it on his cheek, chewing at her bottom lip to control the laugh that was bubbling up and longing to escape even though there was nothing that was even remotely funny. All of a sudden she was filled with a happiness that hadn't been there for as long as she could remember and out of the blue she had an overwhelming urge to put her head back and yell and to scream and to shout out loud, so that everyone would know that she'd survived, and how glad she was that she was still alive, that his mate Lady Luck had been on her side after all, even if she didn't seem to believe that she'd make a good mum. But Molly didn't want to think about any of that right now, none of it had gone away exactly because she would still desperately like things to be different, but she didn't want to think about it, maybe later she would be back to going over and over it in her head, again, but not now.

"Need to get you to shift a bit though, you're sort of flattening me"

"Sorry" He moved away from her gently and then turned over on his back and looked up at the ceiling while he supported his head on arms that he'd crossed behind him on the pillow, before turning his head sideways to look at her, then turning back "What would you like to do for our anniversary? Shall we go away for a few days?"

"Thought you might have forgotten, you haven't mentioned it"

"Me? How could I bloody forget?" He took a deep breath "Four years" then breathed again deeply "End of the week it'll be four years ….. and I thought it might be nice for us to get away to try and put all this … behind us" He smiled at her again, somewhat tentatively "And I haven't mentioned it, because …. I just wasn't sure whether you'd want to"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"That's really what I meant when I said that I thought I might have lost you, I did think that you might have decided ….. well, I thought that there might be someone else"

"Who?"

She heard him give a short derisory snort down his nose as he shook his head irritated because he thought she was feigning ignorance or innocence or something, which was what she supposed she was doing in a way, but in fact she was working out how best to explain it, how to answer him honestly without somehow hurting his feelings because that was the very last thing she wanted "You talking about William? Will?"

"Of course, who else?" He turned his head to look at her briefly then turned onto his back again and continued his appraisal of the ceiling "I thought that you might want to … be with him"

"Whaaaaat? What you talking about? Course not" She shook her head "Alright, I know me head's been all over the shop since it all, everything … since it all got so shitty …. and yeah, I ….. well, I s'pose you're right, I do love him ….. in a way, but not like that, not the way you're thinking, there's only ever been one person I wanted to sleep with ever since I met you and that's you, I haven't ever wanted anyone else and Charles, that was bloody years ago now wasn't it? What do you take me for?"

"I'm sorry, I know I said that I wouldn't get jealous, not again, not after Smurf, but what was I supposed to think Molly? I couldn't help it when I could see that you and William were getting ….. close, I thought that you ….. well, that you wanted to be with him, and I'm sorry, but I thought you wanted to sleep with him, I suppose"

"Charles" Molly shook her head and started chewing at her bottom lip again as she shuffled across the bed and pulled his arm down so that he put it round her and rested her head on his chest "Don't talk … you're a numpty, you know that, don't you?" She kissed him lightly on his chest obviously thinking about what to say next, how to explain, before carrying on "You know how I've always said that it's a load of old cobblers what people say when they say they're going to be there for other people and how it's always made me want to laugh cos I've always thought it was just one of them stupid things that people say that don't mean anything, well, I was wrong, it's not. I sort of understand it now, what they mean, you know, what they're talking about. He was there for me, he kept me going when ….. well, if it hadn't been for him I don't know what I'd of done, I can't tell you how bleeding scared I was but he kept me from turning into some kind of nutter and he wouldn't let me give up even when I wanted. He kept on telling me that we _would_ get out of there and to stop being a pathetic little girlie, well, not in them exact words of course, but that's what he meant"

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything, the last thing I want is to upset you, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to"

He tightened his arm round her cradling her against his side but it was as if he hadn't spoken at all as she carried on without reacting in any way to what he'd just said to her "Thought he was a well dodge geeze to start off with, only accused him of blowing me up didn't I? Typical Dawsey, run off at the gob without getting her brain in gear first"

"Lovely"

"Yeah he was actually, he never got pissed at all when I said it, well, he never seemed to, just laughed really and said how it wasn't him, but he helped me to calm down, to stop bleeding panicking. I really thought I was gonna be buried aIive, it was pitch dark in there 'n there was all these creaking noises 'n then all this crap was falling on me, dust and bits of … dunno … so I thought the whole bloody lot was gonna come down on top of me, well us, any minute and I was trapped, couldn't even move me head let alone get meself out the bloody way. He helped me Charles, I mean we couldn't see each other but we was trapped close to one another" She stopped to take a deep breath "He got this metal pole thing off of me hair so I could turn me head, then I stopped feeling like I was going choke to death any second, thinking I was going to puke, 'n then he made me talk to him, held me hand for bloody hours and hours"

He could feel a drop of moisture as it fell on his chest and realised it was a tear, that she'd started to cry, so that he badly wanted to say something reassuring to her, tell her to stop re-living it and to try and forget, that she was safe now, but he couldn't because it was obvious that she needed to talk and that he needed to listen, and that the main reason he wanted her to stop was because he couldn't bear to think of her in the dark and scared out of her wits like that.

Molly just ignored the fat tears that were rolling slowly out of the corners of her eyes and dripping down to form a pool on his skin as she carried on talking "Must have bored him bloody stupid, kept banging on and on about you and Mum and Nan and the kids, even Dad, well a bit, and then Beth and Martin, but especially about you and all about our wedding 'n Birmingham and then we talked a bit about being in Afghan, how we'd both been there and what a shit-hole it is, and then a bit about Sammie. And then" She sniffed "And then, when he started to tell me about him and about how he's divorced and how they didn't have any kids and how he regretted that now and all about his family, his mum in Spain …..and I bloody well fell asleep while he was talking didn't I?"

"Oh dear"

"Yeah, and all the time I was shit bloody scared that he was going die on me, that I was going to be left down there on me own. Sounds bleeding selfish now, I know, but I were dead worried about his leg, it was hurting him like hell and I thought that even if he didn't die he was definitely going to lose it, his leg I mean. And I knew he'd got no-one, you know, there was no-one close by or nothing, so" She shrugged "It's my turn to be there for him, innit? I don't have to, I know that, but I want to, well, I need to and I'm really, really sorry if it's been upsetting you … well, that it's been upsetting everyone I s'pose"

"No, why are you sorry? God, I'm the one who should be apologising, you've got nothing to be sorry for" He shook his head "Shit, Molly, I can't believe I was jealous, I wasn't thinking straight and I broke my promise" He tried to laugh "Will you accuse me of being patronising if I say that I'm grateful to him, that I'm the one who should be going to see him, should be thanking him for looking out for you"

"Nah, yeah…. is a bit, innit?"

"You know that I love you, don't you? Not that that's any excuse I know that"

"Yeah I know you do, kept on thinking about that when I wasn't sure how we was going to get out of there, about how horrible it was for you, that you'd be dead worried and would maybe think I was already brown bread or some'ing, that you wouldn't know, that's if you even knew where I was"

"Gemma told me, I called her to see if" He gulped at his very vivid memories of that evening and the subsequent night "I thought she might have some idea where you be, where you'd possibly got to"

"Oh yeah ….. 'er, I've heard all about 'er keeping you company while you was waiting" Molly sniffed again deeply as he leaned over to get her a tissue, both of them then laughing slightly as she moved her head and mopped at the wet patch on his chest before blowing her nose.

"That's not how I'd describe it exactly, she was hanging about, it annoyed the fuck out of me if I'm being completely honest"

"Really?"

"Yup, why?"

"I thought, well that you 'n her was, well you know, and I'm sorry, but she's always fancied you …. 'n she keeps on touching you like she can't keep her bloody hands off of you, even when I'm there she keeps on doing it"

"Tell me about it" He gave this exaggerated shudder so that Molly began to giggle, suddenly reassured and happy "Me and Gemma? Seriously? I think not" then dropped a kiss on the top of her head "Can't think why you'd even think something like that" He shuddered again "Me and Gemma?"

"Alright, no need to go on about it"

-OG-

"Did you take advantage of me last night?"

"Yup"

"Thought so" She blearily opened one eye and stretched warily "Wasn't a dream then?"

"What sort of dreams do you have Mrs James?"

"Not normally as good as that one"

"Glad to bloody hear it, so, how do you feel this morning? Head okay?"

"Course"

He looked at her with a smirk on his face, then raised his eyebrows without speaking.

"Yeah alright, maybe a little bit, I've had worse"

"You don't say" He laughed as he put the mug of tea he was carrying down on the bedside table, a little too close for Molly's comfort as the smell drifted across towards her nostrils and made her want to gag "Here, have it while it's hot"

"In a minute" She rolled on her back then turned over again to get as far away from the smell as she possibly could as she repeated over and over in her head 'don't puke, just don't puke' then opened her eyes enough to look at him properly "Okay, you win, I feel shit, can I have a drink of water instead please?"

Eventually and very, very gingerly she raised her head off the pillow enough to sip at the glass of water he was holding for her and then, when that didn't make an immediate return appearance , risked sitting up enough to take a mouthful of the tea and to lean back resting against the pillows that he piled up behind her.

"Nice long walk in the fresh air and then a pub lunch I think, and you're going to sit there until you've eaten something"

"Am I? You think?" You sure about that, are you?" She looked at him and pulled a face as he nodded firmly, a grin plastered all over his face "Bossy bugger"

"Yup" He leaned across and kissed the tip of her nose then put his head back and laughed out loud "You'd better believe it"

-OG-

_**A/N: Thank you for sticking with me on this, Chapter 35 is still a work in progress so may take a couple of days, especially as we appear to have our one day of summer today. I'll get back to it later on, well when the sun goes down, because I don't want to miss it, it might even be hot enough to eat our dinner outside tonight, yay!**_


	35. Chapter 35

_**A/N: I know this is long but hey? I am so going to miss living in this little world I've created, but this is the last chapter (for the moment) and it's for the romantics amongst us, so I hope that you enjoy it.**_

-OG-

To say that he was right and that a nice walk in the fresh air would make her feel better would have been a vast exaggeration, the head rush wasn't yet a distant enough memory. Two cups of tea and a nibble of dry toast followed by some Evian, a lot of Evian and two Ibrofen had had a somewhat minimal palliative effect on the hangover from hell. She was now busily trying to hide the worst aspects of it from him as she kept telling herself that she was not going to puke, that whatever else happened she was not going to puke….

"You okay, you're very quiet?"

"Wonderful … why wouldn't I be? How long we been out?"

"Maybe an hour" He checked his watch "Not even that yet"

"An hour my arse" She was muttering now, hadn't even got the energy to argue with him.

She felt like saying everything was truly wonderful if you ignored the fact that he'd dragged her out of bed and forced her to do an army route march which had now lasted for at least six hours or maybe it was even seven, and if he thought for one second that she believed him when he said it had only been about an hour he must be raving mad. Like hell, who did he think he was bloody well kidding? All she wanted was to go home and go back to bed and sleep for about a week to get rid of her bloody headache, and now, now he was only saying that he sodding well expected her to go and sit in some pub and EAT? Shit, what on earth had she been thinking getting rat-arsed on all that bloody wine? Wasn't even that nice, well not nice enough for all this shit to be worth it, not that she could remember, but one thing she did know was that she was never ever going to do it again as long as she lived …. NEVER.

"I'm fine, not really hungry though"

"Come on, let's have a Ploughman's or something, you need to try and eat something Molly, it'll make you feel better and you haven't eaten properly for ages, so just try a few mouthfuls"

"I'm on a diet"

"Nice try, but I don't believe you somehow, and if you lose any more weight we won't be able to see you" He smiled his loving smile then kissed her on the cheek before putting his arm round her back to guide her firmly into the pub "Just have some bread if you really don't want anything else, but please will you just try …." He gave her his best beseeching look "For me"

"Stop it, stop bloody looking at me like that and I don't want to, I'm not hungry" She could hear herself sounding nice and petulant now as if she was younger than Sammie, Charles really didn't understand hangovers because he never seemed to suffer from them like she did "I'm not well, think I might 'ave got food poisoning and if you make me eat anything I'll pebble the bleeding floor, so don't say I didn't warn you"

"It's a nice day, we can eat outside in the garden and then it won't matter will it?"

"I hate you, you know that don't you? Not only cos you're a bossy bugger but you're such a bleeding know-it-all, got an answer for everything 'aven't you?"

"Yup" He grinned then laughed out loud without showing any noticeable sympathy for her plight at all "Do you want a drink?"

"What? Yeah, half a bottle of Vodka should do the trick"

"I meant some water or something, although" He put his head on one side and smirked then chewed at his bottom lip trying to stop the laugh as he pretended to be considering all her options "I suppose you could have a hair of the dog"

"Funny man"

Against her better judgement but mainly in order to shut him up she'd forced down a piece of dry French bread. The first couple of mouthfuls had had all the taste and texture of sawdust and had been equally hard to swallow, but then, and she wouldn't have admitted this to him in a million bloody years, she'd started to enjoy it, had realised that she was actually hungry. Not for salad or any healthy shit like that, not even for the great bit chunk of cheese, which Charles ate, but the bread tasted lovely and she could have murdered a bar of Galaxy but couldn't really say so, it didn't go with diets and food poisoning.

After she'd begged and moaned and complained that she was hot and tired and that her feet hurt, and had giggled asking him to go and get the car while she waited right there for him, and had then done her best to sound as though she was whimpering, he'd finally sat down on the grassy hill and let her lay down with her head in his lap so that she could close her eyes and let the sunlight drift over her face, only squinting one eye open when the sun went behind a cloud for a minute. Her headache had finally started to ease off for the first time since she'd woken up that morning, the nausea had already let go, thankfully it had gone to sleep as soon as she'd eaten something, not that she was going to tell him that, she didn't think she could cope with him being insufferably smug.

"Garda?" He was twisting a strand of her hair into a ringlet "We could fly or go by Eurostar if you prefer, it would be nice to sit by the lake and get some sun for a few days, what do you think?"

"What? With Beth and Martin?" She tried very hard not to sound horrified, but much as she loved his parents, she wasn't a bit sure she wanted to celebrate her anniversary with them at their one bedroom holiday pad in Italy, especially as she had some making up to do with Beth.

"No, of course not, they're not going out there for a couple of weeks, apparently Dad can't get the time off, well that's what he says, Mum can't wait for him to retire"

"Martin can" She giggled "Says he doesn't want to be organised, well not all the time anyhow"

"Mum doesn't organise" He put his head back and roared with laughter "She's plain bloody bossy"

"Who does that remind you of?" She opened her eyes and squinted up at him smiling to show that she was only joking, well a bit "I'm sorry Charles but I'm not sure I want to go in that bloody tunnel actually, it's a bit too …. dunno really … I just don't think I like the idea of all that water 'n stuff on top, I know that I'm being silly, but I'm a bit nervous about going anywhere I can't get out of if I want … same goes for being on a plane, sorry, maybe in a few weeks, yeah?"

"Oh God Molly, you're not being silly" He smoothed the hair back from her forehead "Tell you what, how about we just get in the car and see where we end up instead?"

"Thank you, I know I'm being a muppet, but … " She shrugged as he carried on stroking her hair and repeating that she had to stop worrying, that it wasn't her, it was him, and that he was sorry, he hadn't been thinking "I thought I was pregnant, you know that day when it all happened, well, all that weekend actually" She took a deep breath at the way he suddenly tensed and the horrified gasp that he'd done his best to stifle "It's alright I wasn't but I knew that really, I kept on going backwards and forwards to the loo all bloody morning, just to check and I went again before I left the admin block, just had this feeling you know? And that time I was right, but if I hadn't stopped to check I wouldn't have still been in there, would have been well on me way home before the bugger blew us all up so I s'pose in a lot of ways I should be grateful that I wasn't, it would have all gone tits up anyway wouldn't it …. well, probably anyway, when everything all went to shit like that?"

"You don't know that" He tightened his arms round her "It will happen Molly and I know that we haven't really talked about it, that I haven't said much to you" He swallowed hard "I know how upset you've been, but it's my fault, I didn't want to force you to talk about it if you didn't want to, I didn't know what to say, but none of that is any excuse, I'm sorry"

"I'm such an epic fail"

"Of course you're not, why would you think that?" He shook his head "I'm sure there's nothing wrong with either of us, it's just taking a bit more time than we thought, that's all but I should have talked to you about it, I know that and I'm sorry"

"Well, it's definitely not you, is it? We know that, else where did Sammie come from?"

"Doesn't mean a thing, things change" He tried his best to laugh "We'll go and see someone if you think it'll help, just to make sure, although they'll probably tell us to go away and have lots of sex"

"You wish" She turned her head to look up at him then grinned as a thought struck her "You do know what the first step will be don't you? It'll be you and some tatty old porn magazine in some little room somewhere"

"Lovely" He laughed "Maybe they'd let you come in the room with me instead, you could wear that white lacy thing you've got, then I wouldn't need any porn" He laughed again "Where is that by the way? I haven't seen it for ages"

She ignored what he'd said about her basque "If we are going to do it, then I'll need to put the doctor on the top of me 'need to say sorry ' list won't I? Think I might have been a bit rude last time I saw him"

"You? No, surely not, never"

"Don't be a smartarse or I won't dig out that lacy thing later when we get home"

"Oh good, does that mean that we're going to get some more practise in?"

"We 'aven't done much practising lately have we?"

"Definitely not enough"

-OG-

"Happy Anniversary, Mrs James" He swung her off her feet and up in the air until her face was level with his before kissing her "And just remember that whatever happens later it was your idea to invite them this evening, we could have been sitting at a lakeside café right now, enjoying the Italian sunshine"

"Yeah, we could, but we're not" She giggled "Happy Anniversary to you as well, now put me down and you can stop bleeding worrying, Kinders won't let them get out of hand, well not too much anyway and they wouldn't dare misbehave, they're scared of you" She wrinkled her nose at him "Can't think why"

"No, they're not, mores the pity, and I wish I had your faith, it's touching"

"Put her down, she's supposed to be making this list, is it ready yet Chicken?"

"Yeah, it's only the order from the Bakers, you just have to go in and pick it up, it should be all ready, oh and Martin?"

"Yes my little pumpkin seed?"

"Nothing, don't matter"

Molly giggled and shook her head as he stood there waiting, his hand extended towards her waiting for her to give him her copy of the bread order, his battered panama hat perched jauntily on his head and a lovely wide expectant grin spread across his face. She knew that she didn't need to say anything to him at all, that actually he would get exactly what she'd asked for, and would resist any temptation he had for going into Waitrose or Sainsbury's for any of his more bizarre choices. Now that he'd retired and was spending a good deal of his time at home he really only did it when he wanted to wind Beth up because she'd got too bossy for his liking, and sometimes when he decided that Charles was being pompous.

"I'll go"

Charles kissed the tip of her nose, his long strides making short work of crossing the room only to see his mother's back as she vanished up the stairs calling out that she was on her way using the voice that she reserved for Ben, who was now bawling the place down. He'd been awake from his nap for all of five minutes which in his opinion was definitely quite long enough.

"Fine" Charles chewed at his bottom lip as they listened to their son's frantic bawling slow down and become a soft murmur then stop altogether as they could hear Beth's voice talking nonsense to him and knew that he'd probably been wet which he loathed and that his doting Grannie was now changing his bum.

"I'm thinking of asking your mum to move in with us, and Martin too of course, he can do the shopping and she can change bums as much as she likes, all day long if she wants"

"Over my dead body" He raised disbelieving eyebrows and thought for a minute "I'd give you a week, two tops, before you'd be pulling your hair out and begging me to get her to go home"

"I know but just think of all that lovely sleep"

"Lovely" He put his hand gently on her stomach which had now rounded up from her pelvis in a small but noticeable arc "Not sorry are you?"

"Nah .. six years, can't believe it's been all that time" She pulled a rueful face "Bit of a bummer that I can't 'ave a drink though"

"I know, I'd love to join you but …. well, it would be a bit inhospitable if the host didn't join in with the toasts, wouldn't it?"

"You're a bugger, you know that don't you?" She giggled at his attempt at a resigned and regretful face "But I think we might have practised enough for the time being, don't you?"

"Nope, most definitely not, remember practise makes perfect"

He dropped his voice to a whisper as he nibbled at her ear very aware that Beth had appeared in the doorway with Ben's fat little arms wound tightly round her neck, Beth was in her element "We make perfect babies ….. should definitely think about making some more after this one" He patted the slight swelling of her stomach and grinned, knowing that she couldn't really answer him the way she'd like to in front of Beth and then turned to smile at his mother and son, laughing as Ben giggled and hid his face. He tucked his dark curls into Beth's neck the minute Charles smiled at him, his version of 'peekaboo', and then looked round at them again, grinning as he stuck three fat dimpled little fingers into his mouth, the dribble pouring down his chin as he sucked at them noisily.

-OG-

"Hello, how are you? It's lovely to see you, how's the leg?"

Molly had been quite surprised but really pleased when William had accepted her e-mail invitation to the party, she hadn't really seen him since his discharge from Frimley, except for that god-awful day at Guildford Cathedral when they'd both attended the Memorial Service for the bomb victims which for Molly had passed in something of a blur. There hadn't been the opportunity to have much of a chat, and in any case she'd spent the whole morning practically paralysed with fear that she was going to have another bout of morning sickness in front of all the hordes of people, including visiting dignitaries and crowds of politicians looking for a photo opportunity, because in her case it happened at any time without much warning. She was also conscious that her dress uniform was far too tight over her tits she'd had to struggle to get it done up so that it looked horrendous and that that was her own bloody fault because she should have thought about it before that day, should have tried it on at least.

She'd been almost a week late when she'd gone back to work but hadn't yet plucked up the courage to take a test, had kept on reminding herself that her cycle was bound to be messed and that they'd missed their perfect window of opportunity as it was called on the net because she'd been far too busy behaving like Godzilla. She hadn't said anything to anyone, but also hadn't said anything to the doctor about wanting to see someone about her failure to get pregnant when she'd been to get signed off as fit for work, she'd just concentrated on being all meek and sweet, hoping that he'd forget all about her being a bloody witch last time she'd seen him.

Her first day back had been weird. It'd felt like a lifetime since she'd last been there, but the shift had gone by in a flash at the same time as being endless and totally exhausting. She made a huge effort and was almost civil to Gemma, well, she'd done her best and had very nearly succeeded, hadn't actually snarled at her. She'd smiled and been pleasant, almost, because they had to work together and it wouldn't be good for anyone if there was an outright war on the ward, but Molly knew they would never re-kindle the friendship that they'd had before the bomb.

Another week had gone by with her trying desperately not to _think about ….. anything_ ….. when she'd experienced the first rush of nausea, a sudden urgent need to lose her breakfast which had sent her stumbling to the nearest loo where she'd had to sit on the floor leaning against the tiled wall of the cubicle for ages waiting to feel normal enough to shift herself back to work. She was bathed in a cold sweat and was thrilled to bits. She no longer gave a shit about Gemma or her crap, it didn't seem important any more, all she cared about was it being time to go home so she could pee on a little stick out the box lurking in her bedside drawer. By the time Charles got home that evening she'd pee'ed on four different sticks, from four different brands of tests and had arranged them all in a neat pattern on his bedside table so that he'd find them when he went up to get changed.

William had been discharged shortly after she'd gone back to the ward and had been an outpatient until he'd been referred back to Headley so that they'd exchanged regular e-mails throughout his long months of re-hab, and they went on e-mailing each other after his return to his unit. She'd told him all about Ben, Benjamin Charles James to give him his full name and had sent him frequent photographs and updates on his progress, somehow she still felt that without him Ben wouldn't even exist, that she wouldn't exist.

She could hear the racket that the lads from the under Fives were making as they teased Beth about not telling them she'd had another baby as she stood there laughing at the worst of their cheek. She hadn't seen most of them for years, since the wedding in Bath, and they were pretending not to believe that her limpet accessory with his arms firmly round her neck was Ben, her grandson, and not her son. Molly had wanted him to be in bed, but he wasn't having any of it, there was far too much noise and fairy lights and other stuff to look at, and people who were smiling at him and tickling him under his chin for any of that. She was chatting to William, catching up on the latest in his battle to get as much of his fitness back as he could. It was never going to be as good as it had been before an unknown person had wrecked it for him, had done their best to wreck so many lives. No-one had ever claimed responsibility so that everyone assumed it was a suicide bomber and that he was red-misted in the admin block, so that they'd all tried their best to put it behind them now. At that precise moment she was far more worried about whether or not she'd been right and that Kinders would keep the lads in check.

"I'll catch up with you in a second" She patted his arm as she noticed Charles raising his eyebrows at her, aware for some reason that William had noticed that she was pregnant. She hadn't really made an announcement or anything, hadn't told people at all, it was only just a bit more than four months, so there was all the time in the world to start telling people, except for family of course. But she knew somehow that he'd noticed.

William nodded and smiled and watched as she walked over to the tall dark-haired soldier that he'd met a couple of times before, once in Frimley, an awkward ten minutes or so, and then again at Guildford Cathedral when he'd noticed how pale she was and hoped she was going to last out, she'd told him about her pregnancy a few days before and he'd been burning with a jealous resentment of Charles James on that day.

He watched as she slipped her arm round his waist and he pulled her into his side, kissing the top of head and then as her hand went down to protectively cup her stomach, the tell-tale gesture that she'd been doing unconsciously the whole time he'd been talking to her Molly, the girl he'd been in love with since before he'd even seen what she looked like, the girl who'd turned out to be beautiful and feisty and in love with her husband, lucky bastard. William felt the last lingering hope drain away as he accepted the inevitable but just hoped that her husband knew how bloody lucky he was to have the girl that he'd been doing his best to get over in the last two years,


End file.
